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"The" tapas evening : work WhatsApp group, received in error, I believe. WWYD?

88 replies

LadyinLavende · 29/05/2024 13:07

This is more a WWYD

I work in a large organisation with several large departments which are distinct ; there are some "colleagues" in other departments that I know by name but wouldn't recognise on the street, but there are others with whom I interact weekly or even on a daily basis.
There is one colleague, C, with whom I have been working on a particular project for which she has set up a specific WhatsApp group, but otherwise each "department" has its own group.
I have also recently helped C out with a personal development project she was working on outside work (it was only an hour, but it was in my personal time.)

I have just received a WhatsApp message from C on the project group saying "I suggest Monday 1st July for the tapas evening: I propose to bring homemade sangria.

I have not heard mention of a tapas evening before, but the use of "the" suggests to me that it has been discussed between a particuar group and they are trying to fix a date. I really think C meant to send it to her departmental group: a tapas evening is the kind of thing her department would organise, but having only arrived in the company just before Christmas I have no idea if last year all the departments had a joint "pre summer holiday" event, (tapas or something else) or if each department organises their own event.

So should I pretend I haven't seen it and let C realise her mistake? I am the only member of the project group who is not also a member of C's main departmental group.

Should I reply : "I don't think this was meant for me."
Should I reply "Yes, lovely, I'll bring homemade pizza."

Other suggestions?

OP posts:
Scarletttulips · 03/06/2024 08:02

She clearly sent the message by mistake and hasn't the heart to admit it since you asked

If you read the replies it’s for the project team, not the inviter team.

Rugs1 · 03/06/2024 07:51

shearwater2 · 03/06/2024 06:41

They remind me of Amanda in Motherland. "God, Anne, pizza at a tapas evening! What were you thinking?" It must be hard work being them.

Ha ha, yes exactly ! (love that show). Don’t need to take it so seriously just to make someone feel bad

fatphalange · 03/06/2024 06:48

She clearly sent the message by mistake and hasn't the heart to admit it since you asked.
I'd have just ignored it or said 'oops wrong chat!' which would've made her feel less cornered than being outright asked. It's obvious because 'the tapas night' was a thing which you hadn't even heard about before the message came through. It was the first you'd heard of it. But no big deal!

shearwater2 · 03/06/2024 06:41

Rugs1 · 02/06/2024 20:36

Tapas just means sharing / finger food in these instances. Those having a go re pizza, stop thinking you are more superior and try and understand the context here

They remind me of Amanda in Motherland. "God, Anne, pizza at a tapas evening! What were you thinking?" It must be hard work being them.

Roastingtomhardy · 02/06/2024 22:29

Why is everyone having a go? I don’t think it necessarily means tapas as in authentic Spanish tapas?! Doesn’t it just mean sharing bits also? Everyone brings a bit or something? My friends and I do this all the time with the kids. So pizza/mini pizzas would be fine op

Sweden99 · 02/06/2024 21:07

Tapas seemed to be nibbles with your drink. Crisps or peanuts at the lower end. So they would be safe! :D

peanutbuttertoasty · 02/06/2024 20:38

Defo take wontons and burritos! And pavlova for pudding!
just kidding OP… it sounds like you work at a lovely place. Hope you have a nice night!

VivienneDelacroix · 02/06/2024 20:38

SirWalterElliot · 02/06/2024 20:27

Hope you have a great time OP! 😊

I'd take tiramisu, everyone loves pudding.

Bloody hell - you're brave, an Italian dessert! People on here will be calling you ignorant in a minute and telling you they'd turn you away or not even be friends with you in the first place.

Rugs1 · 02/06/2024 20:36

Tapas just means sharing / finger food in these instances. Those having a go re pizza, stop thinking you are more superior and try and understand the context here

Princesscounsuelabananahammock · 02/06/2024 20:31

I lurked on this thread and now all I can think is 'I need some chorizo in my life right now' 😋

SirWalterElliot · 02/06/2024 20:27

Hope you have a great time OP! 😊

I'd take tiramisu, everyone loves pudding.

Sue152 · 02/06/2024 20:11

TheOccupier · 02/06/2024 19:46

I wouldn't need to turn anyone away because my friends aren't idiots. If you don't know what "tapas" means, don't comment on a thread about tapas.

Your friends might not be idiots but if they're anything like you then they sound horrid.

OP well done on asking and I hope you have a great time no matter what you take. Be sure to quiz everyone on the difference between tapa and pintxos though and if they don't know call them ignorant idiots and feel mightily superior. I'm sure it will win you loads of friends.

LondonFox · 02/06/2024 20:10

Lol half of this thread is bitching about pizza and completelly missing the point OP asked.

You can100% bring homemade raised dough topped with cheese, chorizo and olives and call it tapas.
Just cut it into squares so no one mistakes it for pizza and goes into cardiac arrest!

Sue152 · 02/06/2024 20:08

TheOccupier · 02/06/2024 09:24

Stuffed vine leaves aren't tapas either. Tapas is (are) Spanish. Why are people so ignorant?

I'm more interested in why you're so rude?

WrenNatsworthy · 02/06/2024 20:01

TheOccupier · 02/06/2024 19:46

I wouldn't need to turn anyone away because my friends aren't idiots. If you don't know what "tapas" means, don't comment on a thread about tapas.

The thread was about the OP feeling awkward, the tapas was an aside.

I was shocked at how many people laid into her about something so trivial.

OP is happy - as you can read from the latest post. You win at knowing about tapas and having friends who do too.

TheOccupier · 02/06/2024 19:46

WrenNatsworthy · 02/06/2024 13:30

So that people like you have the joy of feeling superior?
Every day is a school day. You don't know what you don't know.

Do you host tapas evenings and turn guests away if they bring the wrong thing? Or are you just on MN to put strangers down about trivial things?

I wouldn't need to turn anyone away because my friends aren't idiots. If you don't know what "tapas" means, don't comment on a thread about tapas.

Scarletttulips · 02/06/2024 18:56

Sounds like you made a new friend. How lovely.

MaryMack · 02/06/2024 17:57

I've just come back from Spain and I'd like to say, in response to the poster who said sangria is just diluted squash - it was definitely more than just a fruity drink where we drank it! Very strong stuff.

LadyinLavende · 02/06/2024 17:00

Thank you to all those who have made positive comments, I have really appreciated them.
To those concerned that I might commit a dreadful faux pas by taking pizza, don't worry, I do know it's Italian.
@EveryOtherNameTaken I learned about tapas and pintxos in Spanish class ten years ago and have since tasted plenty, but it's not something that I make at home, whereas pizza is, so it was just the first thing that came to mind as an example. It was never as serious suggestion about what I might take to the event.
I think, in this case, "tapas" is probably shorthand for "bring a plate of finger food to share", and nobody is going to be checking where the recipe originated: It's not for another month, so don't hold your breath, but I'll try to remember to let you know how it turns out.

OP posts:
PissOffJeffrey · 02/06/2024 16:20

Whilst tapas is obviously Spanish, I doubt anybody is going to be checking the national origin of each contribution 😉.

LlynTegid · 02/06/2024 16:15

English Tapas is very different.

It's an album by Sleaford Mods, with after the watershed lyrics.

Sweden99 · 02/06/2024 16:13

LadyinLavende · 29/05/2024 13:49

Yay! I asked if it was a mistake, and no, it's specifically an evening for our project group, so a select few, rather than a whole department.
Seems like honesty is definitely the best policy.

Yay!
And one in the eye for the traditional first MN approach of passive aggressive escalation

SloaneStreetVandal · 02/06/2024 15:59

Maybe no one is replying because C is only bringing glorified squash, and no actual eats! 😂

whoneedssixteen · 02/06/2024 15:29

This so refreshing to hear amongst all the game playing that sometimes goes on. A simple adult question - an answer and - hopefully - a nice evening.

verdibird · 02/06/2024 15:26

Bring a bottle of decent sherry and have a good time.