I see tidy up time never happened

Show him what it really looks like when tidy up time doesn't happen. When he walks in from work, silently hand him the baby and go out.

Are you getting help for your anxiety? Please please do.

And it isn't the fact that there was one rogue ball in the hall. It is because her husband made a joke and the OP became so upset about it that she had to come on MN for validation. That doesn't sound like someone who is comfortable about being a SAHP

Start as you mean to go on op. You don’t have to be worrying about him coming home and passing you on some test.
Enjoy your time at home. I was a sahm for 7 years and loved it. Don’t let this spoil a wonderful time for you and your family. Set some agreements now on who will do what and expectations.

Also, I am a teacher and all these MN posts from women who intend to work from home and do childcare is one of the reasons 75% of teachers are female. 71% of NHS staff are female.
My sister who is a Headteacher in a leafy London Borough lost 50% of teaching staff last summer. This summer it looks as if could be worse. It is impossible to replace specialist teachers. More and more students are being put in the main hall whilst senior teachers cover multiple classes in there.
Teaching is in crisis and it is not just to do with pay. Labour have promised extra teachers. Goodness knows where they will find them.
Recruitment is at an all time low.
Every day, every week there are posts on MN about alternative jobs to teaching that allow work from home. The Civil Service is stopping all recruitment in some areas and demanding staff return to offices.
Every day, every week there are posts about how awful and understaffed the NHS is. There is one such thread at the moment. Again it is not just down to pay but about lack of flexibility is terms of shift work.
Mothers on here who demand the right to wfh AND care for a baby help accelerate the movement away from teaching.
Women are twice as likely to develop dementia as men. It is not just down to there being more elderly women than men.
There is so much research that shows work is good for us. I can provide lots of peer review studies.
However, I understand why some mothers want to stay home with their under fives but to get upset like the OP because she doesn't feel that her husband appreciates her being with her baby suggests that she is going to be sensitive to all references to her being home all day and not working. It is a recipe for the OP to be more stressed and upset.
A lot of people, men and women, find it hard to be the sole breadwinner.

OMG - OP can tidy up! You sound like a magnified version of her husband! There was a rogue plastic ball in the hallway - is that not acceptable?

@AppropriateAdult
I think the OP is suggesting she get a work from home job and look after the baby at the same time. That is a recipe for a disaster. If she cannot tidy up while looking after a baby how can she work alongside a baby?

I presume OP is one of the many people whose self-esteem is fortunately not completely dependent on her paid employment. I sometimes wonder at the people who say this kind of thing - they tend to be the same ones who would 'go mad' if they were at home full time, as if their job is their entire personality and they have no internal resources.

There's nothing diminishing about being a SAHP, and I hope you really enjoy it, OP. Glad your husband has seen the error of his ways - I can quite see how it may have been a thoughtless comment rather than anything malicious, but well done for pointing out how hurtful it was.

Sorry, cross posted. You sound like a true professional. Well done.

I would have reacted the same way at this stage.

After a while of real life getting in the way, you will probably crack and tell DH to get a grip, and cover the subject in quite a lot of detail, probably repeatedly.

By the time DC is a teenager, DH will know a lot more about when to bite his tongue and how to tidy up.

One DH grasps this, DC will also learn quite quickly and then your life will be much much easier.

It all takes time though, so starting where you are now is excellent work. Well done for making it through the day.

I'm a SAHP too, so welcome to the club - it is really quite nice.

This, 100%. It’s no coincidence he made this comment on day one of your financial dependency on him. It’s likely more such comments will be coming, I’m afraid.

Please look to get a suitable job asap.

Context is everything. My partner could come in saying this and I’d know he would normally mean have you had one of those days, in a sympathising way. Other times he could be celebrating the fact I’ve not been fretting over the state of the house, as he thinks it would do me good to relax about housework. Other partners could walk in saying this though and it be an indicator of them displaying a domestically abusive behaviour where they act like the king of the castle, and have views about male and female roles in the household, or what a female should do if they aren’t contributing financially. Only you can figure out whether it was an abusive comment. If you don’t feel it was abusive then I’d recommend you seek some emotional support if you often feel like this, and it wasn’t just one of those sensitive days.

It's a red flag of things to come as your self esteem plummets. Don't hide crying stand up to him and say I thought you would like to do it to your standards.
DO NOT have it all tidy and be standing in ceremony tomorrow or any day. Do not bite.

This is brilliant

Yes! I was thinking exactly that…..!

If you are this sensitive, how will you feel about losing your self esteem by not working? How can you work from home with a baby?
It is really not a good idea and you will end up even more stressed.

'I see daddy is full of critical comments today!'

Have you checked whether you have to pay your maternity leave money back now that you've quit?

Yes I would have been upset at that comment too. It sounds passive aggressive. Not a showstopper though.

Out of interest, has he ever looked after your child, at home, for more than an hour or so at a time?

Does anyone remember this classic?

Why are you going off and having a cry in private? Do you two not communicate? I would have said to him straight away "pardon? I've tidied up about 25 times today and I'm not the maid - your turn" then gone off for a nice long bath and told him to make sure dinner was on the table for me when I got back. Cheeky Fecker.