To have let another child ruin our afternoon?

I've had this a few times, OP. Lots of children are really taken by babies and love playing with them, which is often really sweet but sometimes too much. I haven't always handled it well, and I am ashamed to say I actually let a couple of girls upset my baby once because I wasn't firm enough (the other children were being friendly, but just "too much", very much like you describe) and we ended up leaving the park early.

But I've gradually found the best way to do it is to be direct and firm - although not necessarily shouty and unkind. Just firmly say "no, she just wants to play on her own at the moment." "No, she needs a bit of space." "No, she doesn't want to be picked up". I find that almost always works, but if not, "Right, she wants a bit of space away from other people, so we're going over there now" and pick the baby up and go somewhere else.

What you said to her was extremely passive and gave her choices.
Wouldn't you like to? No I would like to stay here
I think mummy misses you...pretty sure sge doesn't

You don't need to be mean.
The baby likes to play on her own and this area is only for babies, please go and play somewhere else.
We are eating our lunch now, please go back to your mummy.

“No! We don’t want you near us anymore, Emily. Please go away now and don’t come back.”
Would you be ok with your own child being spoken to that rudely, for just being friendly🤔? By an adult, or another child? I suspect you'd think it unnecessarily mean.

If you or anyone else had the heart to say this to a 5 year old, I'm sorry you're not being firm, you're being cruel. "We don't want to play with you anymore" who says that to a child? There are other kind but firm ways to speak to children. Making them feel unwanted isn't it.

Me too! I don’t think I’d have the heart to send a 5 yr old packing!

You were kind and indulged the child for a while, but as soon as you’d had enough, you should have told her clearly and explicitly. ”You need to go back to you mum now, Emily. We want some time as just a family. We don’t want to play with you anymore. Go back to your mum and find someone else to play with.”

If she had returned, be firmer, “No! We don’t want you near us anymore, Emily. Please go away now and don’t come back.”

Worse than that. It was 2 mums, and they were browsing mumsnet. Appalling.

Let me guess, the child was there with her dad who was on his phone.

That was me when I was little - maybe 7?
I was up in the mountains alone with my grandparents and this mum with her two teenage kids was up there.
In my mind it was KIDS!!!
I bugged them all day. Finally, when they sat down to dinner, the mum said ”You need to go home now,” very sternly. I was either too little or too dense to be embarrassed.
And I ran home.
The little girl wouldn’t know any better if you told her to go find her mum because play time with you was over for the day.
She’s 5.

I used to find picking baby up and telling them no was effective. You aren't a free babysitter.

You can’t feed other people’s children without their permission they could have an allergy

I went with yabu buy not to feel frustrated... I would also have been annoyed at that situation. However it does just happen from time to time when you have a cute baby.
I've just had my 3rd and so pbviously I know a lot of children now as my elder two have friends. And every now and then one of them gets fixated on the baby.
I'll be sat in the park for example and one of my middle daughters friends will come and sit with me and just constantly try and interact with the baby and talk to me about the baby...
Same thing at birthday parties my kids attend.. the soft play...

Its just life unfortunately! And I personally feel like you can't be too hard line with them because they ate just children besotted with a cute baby.
It is fkn annoying to deal with tho 🤣
I do internally think "please fuck off and let me drink my coffee or deal with my own kids" like I'm tired enough dealing with my own children....
However I'm always kind to them and answer their questions let them interact with the baby. They are just kids and the baby is only a baby for a short time... and sometimes I do get left alone at the softplay or wherever.. it's not like its absolutely every single time I go out.

Yeah it's not her fault her parents ignore her. Being mean to her seems a bit cruel. Asking her nicely but bluntly to go back to her Mother as you're eating seems ok though. It's always the ones who's parents just ignore them and leave them to it. I don't know what to do about those people, don't they know other people are just left to parent for them.

After politely suggesting several times, you really should have told the child to "go away" as you put it. More kindly of course, but something like "go on back to your mummy a minute as we need to go and play with my other little girl".

Poor kid definitely seems a bit neglected though! Ignorant parents make me SO cross!

I'd be fairly direct with the child and if the child didn't get it, I'd walk her back to her parent. I have seen children dumped at these places and left with an older sibling or two. I remember a clueless toddler on a big slide who just veered off course and crashed into my toddler. I was furious that she wasn't being supervised because my son took a bit of a hit. I was about to say something quite direct when I realised that it was a couple of siblings who were trying to comfort her and there was no parent in sight. My mother was a nanny and worked in a children's home when she was younger and I have to say that when she gave an order, children obeyed. She was quite direct about it. She wasn't Anglo Saxon though so didn't have British diffidence.

If she meant no glharm why are you complaining? Clearly she caused harm because she took your time away from DD1 in particular.

Prioritise your own children and def send children like this away. It's not cruel or harsh it's just life.

Def grow a pair, they come in handy!!! ;)

You ruined your afternoon by going to soft play.

It's hell on earth. A loud, expensive peti dish of toddler bodily fluids supervised by competing parental tribes "the performative", "the saintly", "the my time with friends/my phone outsourcers", the "bewildered first timers" and the "martyrs to their children's enjoyment".

I have never been so glad as the day my child aged out of soft play and I realised I will never have to endure martyr myself again 😂.