To have let another child ruin our afternoon?

You don’t need to tell her to piss off? Just say it’s time to go back to mummy/daddy now.

Setting a polite but firm boundary isn’t mean! It’s rude of a child to just insert themselves into your trip out and feed your baby! Honestly what a wet lettuce - after a few minutes you kindly say ‘Baby has had fun but that’s enough now, give him some space’ and go with them to find their grown up if needs be. You let a stranger feed your baby grapes?

You’ve only got yourself to blame, you’re the adult, tell the kid to go away. I can’t believe you let it ruin your afternoon rather than use your big girl voice!

This^

OP, it’s not unreasonable to expect other parents to look after their children, it’s when they don’t that the problem arises. You can’t let yourself be such a pushover - you need to advocate for your own children. Clearly the baby can’t tell an intrusive five year old to leave her alone - so you need to. Likewise, if you want to have lunch with your own children (who would undoubtedly have preferred to have lunch with you alone) then make it happen. You have the ability to do something about this: your children don’t. It may seem rude - but better that than spending two and a half hours seething.

Hi OP. I don't have any advice, I am afraid, but just wanted to let you know the exact same thing happened to me on Sunday. I took my baby (almost one) to soft play for the first time and a five year old girl was absolutely OBSESSED with him. Picking him up, feeding him grapes, would not leave him alone the whole 90mins we were there. I really wanted to tell her to go away, but she was sweet (ish) and DS seemed happy enough so I put up with it. Though I did tell her not to pick him up! I was contemplating posting on MN for advice but am glad I didn't bother, having read the replies here. It just seemed too mean to tell her to piss off, so I put up with it. If DS had been upset, I would have been more firm. I don't think it is in me to be mean to a five year old girl!

You are very passive. It’s not rude to say ‘go back to mummy/daddy now’.

I work with people who’ve boasted about deliberately not retrieving their kids when they leech onto another family as it gives them a break, so I wouldn’t bother waiting for the parent to do the right thing. Just be more blunt. If parents complain you can cheerfully tell them it’s their own fault for using a stranger as an unpaid childminder.

All parents should be vigilant at soft play, sadly so many aren't and rely on the ones who are to look after their kids as well! Xx

ideally her parent(s) would have noticed this and tactfully removed her but that isn’t what happened

^

Nope. Busy having coffee and chatting

You let some random five year old pick up your baby? Then have lunch with you?

You need to up your game op

‘Stop picking her up please she doesn’t like it’

’You need to go back to your mummy now as we’re having lunch’

As pps said you have to be firm. Kids don’t pick up on hints. No need to be rude but tell her to go back to her parents. Failing that take her by the hand and say take me to your parents and have a word with them and tell them she’s bothering you and can they please stop her from doing that

Then don't use hints and signs.

Use clear, age appropriate, polite language.

Not 'go away', but 'No. Don't pick the baby up, please' or 'please mind away from the baby, she's trying to play' and 'we're going to have our lunch now, you need to go and find your grown up'.

Is it really so hard to assert yourself to a 5 year old?

I would have said "we are having family time now, dd1 can let you know later if she wants to play, dd2 is too small to play." You might need to be quite firm. "We are just playing as a family at the moment, please don't touch dd2." And don't interact.

This.

Say kindly but loudly "Please go back to your parent now. I am trying to spend time with my children".

If they persist I'd gather my kids and move to another area.

I work in a primary school and deal with some rather difficult children, the best way to deal with them is to be blunt and make it clear that what they are doing is not acceptable behaviour to you. Doesn't mean you need to be rude or mean but like others have said young children don't pick up on hints and unless you directly tell them they need to stop doing something then they are more then likely to just continue what they're doing. It would annoy me too but I would of put a stop to it the minute another child tried to pick up my baby or tried to stop them from playing.

'You need to go back to Mummy/Daddy/Granny now. We are having our lunch'

Sorry it ruined your afternoon but I think it was nice that you were kind to the girl and didn't get rid of her . She sounds a bit neglected if she was five and her family weren't anywhere to be seen . She might remember it forever.

I would have been SO pissed off if this child was bothering us especially if I had my baby there. I would have said time to go now and stand up looking around. Surely the parent was there near? I would have pointed to them and said she was looking for you, as I need to see to my baby.

I can’t stand parents that let their kids do this, drives me barmy, I’m much more blunt than you op though, as I’ve been known to take annoying children by the hand and back to their parents with a very firm “I am spending time with my child, not yours. Please keep a closer eye on them”

If it happens again just tell them in an age appropriate way to naff off or find their parents.

Why didn’t you send her back to her parent? Very odd! Why would you possibly allowed her to eat lunch with you?

Well naturally that poster was elaborating but the essence of their post was accurate. People tell children to go away in soft play centres up and down the country all the time. Yes she was sweet but you've admitted she ruined your afternoon, she wouldn't have done that if you'd been blunt with her or located her parents and asked them to redirect her to play elsewhere.