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AIBU?

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Original poster

111 said something very strange

42 replies

SassyCrab · 28/05/2024 14:33

I called 111 because I couldn’t get a doctors appointment and my baby has been poorly for 3 weeks with a cold now he’s caught conjunctivitis so he has been crying a lot. I called 111 to ask if they could get drops prescribed over the phone as we go on holiday in a few days and doctors had no appointments. They was asking irrelevant questions I.e has he got bruising etc? But then at the end of the call they had said, “if he does cry, it’s okay to put him in a seperate room as it does get quite stressful when a baby cries & whatever you do don’t shake him” ?! My baby was crying a little bit because he was tired, but I don’t understand why they said that? I’ve called 111 several times and they’ve never said that to me before! Who in the right mind would shake a baby & im a very chilled mom so it’s got my back up a bit! Anyone else had that? Wish I said to them why on earth would you even say that, but where i was in shock I just said “okay”. Very weird!

OP posts:
NeonSky · 28/05/2024 14:54

They are just covering all bases, it’s nothing personal. I know it doesn’t sound nice to hear & I’d probably be like ‘huh?’ too but it’s just a blanket response - they may have heard the crying and it’s just something they say as general advice.

I went to the docs a few months ago as dc had had abit of a cough, dc was about 13 months old. He had a little bruise on his cheek from when he fell onto the edge of the door (he was still abit wobbly on his feet when walking)
The doctor mentioned it and asked how he’d got it, even writing it down. I felt abit funny about it and can’t say I liked it, but she was just doing her job.

We hear horrible things weekly about kids being abused, parents hitting their kids, authorities who were aware but didn’t do enough in time etc.

Don’t dwell on it.

I hope your dc is feeling a bit better.

WittyFatball · 28/05/2024 14:54

SassyCrab · 28/05/2024 14:49

I just found it quite disturbing that was all, I’m allowed to ask a question no? I called them for advice on conjunctivitis, not on being stressed because my baby was crying a little bit. Just didn’t find it very relevant!

Show quote history

But again, how are they supposed to know it's not relevant to you?
Surely you understand it's better to mention it to someone it isn't relevant to, that not mention to someone who's totally stressed and on the edge with a crying baby?

Original poster
SassyCrab · 28/05/2024 14:52

BuffaloCauliflower · 28/05/2024 14:48

It’s part of the required script for lots of medical things to do with babies now, as sadly many babies are shaken by caregivers under stress. I had my second baby last year and in my last postpartum midwife appointment they said the same thing. I knew what it was about and said had they had a case of a shaken baby, she said it was just something they need to say now. The call handler doesn’t know you’re chilled, and tbh even chilled parents can snap under pressure - a baby crying for days and days will send most mums adrenaline high, it’s our biology - and if saying that line just sticks with one person who puts baby in another room instead of shaking them in a time of stress, that’s good for me.

Okay thank you! Yeah I’m a first time mum so just wondered why they said it to me :) I’ve spoken to 111 for different things and this is the first time they asked me that’s why

OP posts:
Pixiesgirl · 28/05/2024 14:51

I think for a small proportion of people stress and anxiety can manifest as aggression, so good advice to those tbh. They don't know which people so blanket advice.

Ohfuckrucksack · 28/05/2024 14:51

The care advice is not personalised, other than to the age of the person and what they are calling in with.

The call handler did not choose to say it to you - it is something they have to say.

SparkyBlue · 28/05/2024 14:50

Honestly OP don't take it personally. It wasn't aimed specifically at you it was generic advice in
case the baby's crying left you overwhelmed or stressed. I remember reading and hearing this advice when mine were babies. I hope your little one improves soon. Nothing worse than a sick upset baby.

Original poster
SassyCrab · 28/05/2024 14:49

WittyFatball · 28/05/2024 14:43

Some people do shake their babies - the person on the phone knows nothing about you, how are they supposed to know you're very chilled??

I just found it quite disturbing that was all, I’m allowed to ask a question no? I called them for advice on conjunctivitis, not on being stressed because my baby was crying a little bit. Just didn’t find it very relevant!

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 28/05/2024 14:49

SassyCrab · 28/05/2024 14:45

Thank you! Your the only one who’s being helpful :)

Who?

BuffaloCauliflower · 28/05/2024 14:48

It’s part of the required script for lots of medical things to do with babies now, as sadly many babies are shaken by caregivers under stress. I had my second baby last year and in my last postpartum midwife appointment they said the same thing. I knew what it was about and said had they had a case of a shaken baby, she said it was just something they need to say now. The call handler doesn’t know you’re chilled, and tbh even chilled parents can snap under pressure - a baby crying for days and days will send most mums adrenaline high, it’s our biology - and if saying that line just sticks with one person who puts baby in another room instead of shaking them in a time of stress, that’s good for me.

Bournetilly · 28/05/2024 14:48

They have to say this

ThursdayTomorrow · 28/05/2024 14:47

You are overthinking this OP. 111 gave good advice to a mother with a young baby.

CremeEggThief · 28/05/2024 14:45

You're overthinking this on, probably cos you're tired.

It's just something they have to say. It's not personal.

Original poster
SassyCrab · 28/05/2024 14:45

Thank you! Your the only one who’s being helpful :)

OP posts:
WittyFatball · 28/05/2024 14:43

Some people do shake their babies - the person on the phone knows nothing about you, how are they supposed to know you're very chilled??

ShmackAttack · 28/05/2024 14:41

I used to work there its part of the script they have to say and if they don't they get in a lot of trouble - I agree its its a crap thing to have to say and one of the reasons i no longer work there - Just know its nothing to do with you and how you parent its literally a box they have to check and something they have to say - If that call was audited and they hadn't said it they would fail that audit and possibly be put on probation.

Bumblebeeinatree · 28/05/2024 14:37

Perhaps you were sounding stressed about the baby crying and they were suggesting how to get a break from it, before you get stressed enough to do something foolish. They don't know you and have to give advise to all sorts of people.

xILikeJamx · 28/05/2024 14:35

All good advice as far as I can see?

Would suggest you're not that chilled if that had you in shock