111 said something very strange

Nope not NICU! Very straightforward birth and we left hospital 24hours later.
I had my first son in the same hospital 8years before and it was never a thing then so I was quite surprised by it!
There was about 4/5 different videos we had to watch on different subjects but funnily enough that was the only one I can actually remember.

I have been told lots of times by midwives, with both babies, that if the crying gets too much to put them down and walk away. It’s life-saving advice-no baby died just because you put them down crying, but plenty of babies have cried because a stressed parent shook them. Sadly shaking babies due to the stress of them crying is not uncommon, and it often has tragic consequences.

We had to watch a 'don't shake the baby' video in hospital before we were discharged after my baby's birth and sign to say we'd done so. Apparently since showing the video there hadn't been a single shaken baby case in the county.

I also took my toddler to A&E once for a cut on his forehead and was asked to strip him so they could check the rest of his body for bruises. It's just standard safeguarding practice for under 2s - it's not personal.

Was your baby in NICU for a while?
Just asking as ours was although this was 11 years ago and we had to watch the video and have a chat with a nurse before we could go home.

None of my friends had to watch it who had "normal" births, some even go to go home after 7 hours after giving birth to their first child.

Others went back into hospital with quite I'll very small babies and didn't get the video.

In the birthing classes there was no mention of this, where it probably could have been a useful topic.

I understand disabled children may be more stressful to handle but I've always felt this was odd for years since it happened.

I think its a great and important message to convey but find it strange that it's not or wasn't then blanket advice given to all parents.

And yes, can vouch for this being the norm. I had to ring for my DC once due to a stomach issue and they asked if we had SS involved.

I was constantly told not to shake either of my DC when they were babies to the point I actually asked our health visitor "how many people are doing this for you to be telling me this over and over and over again"!? Her answer was a lot.

Agreed with PPs that they're reading a script and everyone is asked these questions.

Also makes you wonder who they've spoken to in the past to have to say, put the baby in a safe place and walk away. There must have been some desperate conversations had during times of need for parents.

was asked if we had social services involvement.

Again, they ask everyone that because if you have a social worker they need to let them know you're in hospital. It's on the triage form I assume.

https://dontshake.org/purple-crying

in Canada parents watch this prior to discharge home/or first home visit.
volunteers make purple/mauve/lilac beanies for the new babies.

crying and shaken baby syndrome happen

I took my baby to a&e because of croup (tiny new baby struggling to breathe, not a 2 year old with a bit of a cough!) and was asked if we had social services involvement.

took him to hospital from school because of a head injury he sustained their (with 30 witnesses in the middle of the school day) and he was asked how it happened, and I was told not to answer for him.

They have to say/check these things because plenty of parents are abusive.

Not normal Ime I never had this said to me maybe you sounded very stressed?

Is it that you think people don't really snap and shake their babies?
Or that if they want to shake their baby that's up to them and no one else should be getting it involved?

Healthcare professionals have to give the advice to ALL parents. It’s in our discharge talk when babies leave for home because sadly babies are shaken.
https://iconcope.org/

Again, this is all pretty good advice

What the hell is this advice and people saying it’s normal? What about a slap? Or a punch?

”Hey lady, whatever you do, don’t punch your baby”….Not ok? But, “Don’t shake your baby” is apparently normal, sage advice?

Bonkers.

What about the operator? All they hear is a baby crying and they don't know why. Could it be relevant to them?

Sorry your baby is unwell and wishing a speedy recovery. When I had to call 111 for my son a few months ago, I had the exact same wording - I think it’s literally a script they have to read if the child is under a certain age. The same as lots of the questions they ask (I.e are they bleeding/vomiting etc) are completely irrelevant to the situation you call up for.

Please don’t worry about this!

I feel like this advice was pretty common when I had my babies, I remember those health visitor texts (just standard ones that get scheduled for being sent at certain ages)- they covered all sorts but there were a few saying ‘if your baby is crying and you’ve checked they’re fed/changed/safe etc, it’s ok to leave them for 5 minutes and step out of the room to gather yourself’ . It’s just generic advice, because shaken baby syndrome is a real and awful thing. Not worth worrying about, it wasn’t specifically aimed at you. Plus the times I’ve called 111, you get all the ‘are they bleeding, conscious, breathing, seizuring’ etc questions even when none of that is relevant- they’re just doing their jobs. It’s not a perfect system but better having it than not.

Having a poorly baby is some thing most people would find stressful to some extent. I can see why it’s beneficial to say because ultimately it could save a baby’s life. It doesn’t mean anyone is judging you. It’s just standard advice given to anyone with a baby.

It's not personal. They say that to everyone who sounds like they're at the end of their tether with a screaming baby, because it's a genuine risk that a parent might lose the plot. When they're talking to you, they don't know if you're a calm, educated parent. You know that shaking a baby can be fatal. But there will be plenty of parents who genuinely don't know that. And there will also be plenty of parents who do think that they aren't allowed to walk out of the baby's room to take a moment to calm down because they've been told they have to respond to a baby's every whimper. Honestly, don't give it another thought.

Who in the right mind would shake a baby & im a very chilled mom

Nobody in their right mind but it still happens. I remember having to go in to my back garden in the middle of the night once when my dd was crying.

That's exactly what it is - they are giving positive advice as to what to do if you can't cope with the crying eg put the baby in a safe space and walk away.

When I had my ds2 last year we weren’t allowed to leave the hospital until we had watched some videos on an iPad.
One of them was a video on how to cope with a crying baby e.g put them in a safe place and walk away. There was a section in the video of how dangerous it is to shake a baby.
It will just be protocol and like a checkbox activity that the call handler will have had to do as part of the script they read. I really wouldn’t take offence to it.

Wow, I am slightly shocked that's in the script.
Although I can see why it could be worded differently.
Like saying don't think of pink elephants and all you think of is pink elephants.
I know people do do it....in desperation but I have to say shaking anything or anyone in anger or frustration is not something that ever enters my mind. There are other things that could be included to warn you against, but isn't it better practice to stick to positive steps and "do's" rather than "don'ts"?