Having an opinion on friend changing their kid's name

It is a good idea to get any changes done (a court is unlikely to change it completely if the father objects, but possibly will agree to double barrel) before school.

Was a ballache for me having school certificates in one name and going to uni with a different name.

Any hassles like that or the first new passport aren’t arduous though. Just a pain in the arse in the moment.

No he won’t and he may just as well wonder why he has been left with the name of a man who hasn’t been there and supported him rather than share the name of the person who has.

the fact that you haven’t been stopped is more luck than anything else it does happen and I suspect to people on a daily basis - travel forums always recommend travelling with a letter from the parent who isn’t travelling if the name is different. I think for practical reasons changing makes sense

but if he is on the birth certificate he would need I think to give permission

I think she should change it to Pork Knuckles.

I always carry my son's birth certificate in my passport when we travel abroad to prove I'm his mother, just in case. I am married but have not changed my name. Mumsnet in fact did a campaign a while ago to alert people to this, for those who have different last names, and it's not a 'slight occasion', it happens a fair amount, and society does seem to care more than we might like to think about mothers and kids having the samena,e

The only time I have had to use it was in Switzerland, where the border guard was very snotty about why on earth I hadn't changed my name if I was married and was very dismissive of my choice.

Other posters had a good point about going abroad - will your friend need permission to go abroad if the dad is on the birth certificate?

I’ve known many children’s en never known one to have lifelong trauma because at age 3 they got a different surname.

I have to say I smell a pick-me warrior

Because when they registered him they chose his surname. They didn’t choose to give him both names, or an alternative name, they chose that specific name.

Neither of them can legally change it without the others permission anymore than one of them could change the child’s first name without permission.

No, and he won’t care at any point after the age of three. No kid would.

What lifelong implications?

Eh? I didn’t call you sanctimonious

How is the exe’s his opinion relevant? He is a stranger to his son, sharing DNA doesn’t make your opinion relevant to a child you give no shots about.

Even if you think it is relevant- it’s not nearly as relevant as your friend’s

Why though? Both parents names are on the birth certificate and surely the child could be known as either.
OP is the primary carer so I don't see why she can't just use her name as the child's surname.

I think being challenged and having different opinions is a great part of deep friendships.

But I also think if she can get Mr. Pork Knuckles to agree to the change then she should do it.

My children hate having their (abusive, generally shitty) father's surname but he wouldn't consent to official change. They are counting down to 18 when they will change.

It's not unusual for children worldwide to have their mother's surname.

Also I teach 5 year olds and at the start of each year we learn about our surnames and I do the register with them to get them to know their full names but they mostly don't have a scooby what it is before then.

Is she really 'eradicating her little nugget of a boy?' Is she doing other things to worry you? As the name change alone doesn't amount to this?

Once a child is named, the name belongs to the person and only that person. The name no longer belongs to the parent.

the child can change their name once they are an adult as they see fit. The child’s name might be changed in the case of an adoption, which if the child is old enough should only be done with their consent.

I know many teens in similar family situations, the majority of which have chosen to change their name to their mum’s as a teenager when it’s much more of a faff.

I don’t see any harm in changing a toddler’s surname. It’d be different if she wanted to change his first name which he will recognise by now.

I know many teens in similar family situations, the majority of which have chosen to change their name to their mum’s as a teenager when it’s much more of a faff.

I don’t see any harm in changing a toddler’s surname. It’d be different if she wanted to change his first name which he will recognise by now.

If I was the friend I’d fully see it as my ‘friend’ taking the side of my useless ex

What nonsense. It’s not part of him. It’s just a name and I’d want my child to have my surname and not that of a stranger. I can guarantee a bit of 3 won’t even notice let alone give a shit

Agree why do you hold this view? It’s weird. Also you are coming across as rather sanctimonious to your poor friend.

Your friend cannot legally change the DC name without the dad's permission. And if he objects (which he likely will), he will likely win.

The best she can hope for is 'known as' on his school/gp/dentist etc records.

And yeah, shit as it is, she does need his permission to take the DC out of the country (despite most pps saying 'well I did it without any problems' it only takes one passport control officer to check and screw up the whole holiday. Best to get a residence order sorted now to prevent any future difficulties.)

It did happen to us when we went to Thailand.