To think you regret getting divorced?

Divorce 1. Aged 30 married for less than a year. Abusive bastard (he’d already been divorced twice, then me and then his next one) he forced me into sex in positions I didn’t want. Slammed me into kitchen cupboards and tried to strangle me
Divorce 2- aged 40. New born baby - his family had always been abusive and then he started on me constant lying about everything and controlling with money etc was absolute shit - it destroyed me financially emotionally and physically. It took me years to recover.

then went through years of therapy.

now with a lovely lovely man who treats me as I always wanted but used to think I didn’t deserve or didn’t. He is totally smitten, he is stunningly attractive to me and is my safe place.

Not a single regret. Divorced because he cheated. Wish I'd never met him. Very happily remarried.

Hell no, it's the two best things I've ever done in my life

No regrets at all… but I was in an abusive and coercive marriage.

If it had failed for other reasons, then maybe.

Not the same but some clients I represent change their mind at the very last minute . It normally doesn’t mean they are in love . Recently a client canceled her divorce procedures after fighting for it for over 3 years . Her reason was that she was not ready to live a “ poor life “ he basically cheated on her the whole wedding and was violent on occasion and despite her being very comfortable if they divorced financially she would not be rich to the standard she is used to be ( several cars , holiday homes , non stop shopping)

I regret that my children have to have step-parents

Why? It’s just more people to look after them surely?

I regret that I had to get divorced because I got married when I shouldn't have done, but that's more regretting the marriage than the divorce.

Just seen this. Main reason was he was a lazy, sexist, arsewipe who refused to lift a finger in the house, and claimed that I should be grateful to him for providing all the money, when in fact I earned more than him.

Best fucking thing I ever did. Second best was marrying 2nd DH, which I wouldn’t have been able to do if I hadn’t divorced the first one.

LOL absolutely not. Abusive cunt. My life is so much better without him. I have learned so much about myself that he squashed down, the main thing that I'm actually very capable if there's not someone telling me how useless and worthless I am all the time. And no, he didn't know better than me, ever.

Twenty years on, not had one millisecond of regret apart from wishing I'd gone on and divorced him the first time I left him a few years earlier instead of "trying again", and even then I can't regret it entirely because I would be wishing away my youngest daughter.

I do wish I had known that I needed to be more calculating about the finances at the time. I could have done with Mumsnet and "get your ducks in a row" before I threw the ring back at him.

Surely the act of divorce is an expression of regret (that one married initially). So an extra layer of opposing regret seems odd. Disclaimer: I'm not divorced.

I think it depends on the reason for divorce. Where there’s DV or coercive control, it’s a no-brainier, but these can often be the hardest marriages to get out of. I can’t regret marrying my ExH because of the children and I am happily remarried - but I don’t think divorce is to be undertaken lightly - I’m always sorry when I read articles that say “We just grew apart”. What that says to me is, “we couldn’t be bothered to make an effort” - which is not fair if there are children involved. The thing you lose in divorce is a shared past and mutual history - my current DH never knew my children when they were young, nor I his, for example, and I regret that my children have to have step-parents or partners of parents. I never thought I’d get divorced, much less that I would instigate it, but I am thankful on a daily basis that I’m now married to a good, kind, reliable man.

No regrets!

Not for a second. I do regret not having the courage of my convictions and divorcing him as soon as he cheated. Instead I spent 4 years miserable and checked out of the marriage and ended up meeting someone which muddied the waters.

From the experience of friends rather than me I think it depends. Sometimes a marriage really is over and a women knows that it is time to leave. Particularly when the DP is abusive physically or mentally. Some of my friends have regretted divorce. With hindsight realising they had hit a rough patch and that being on your own is not easy. At the end of the day though, only the participants know what is going on in a marriage.

Woo Hoo! Congratulations! How do you feel? (Getting divorced nexy week and am INCREDIBLY happy about it)

My ex wife once expressed regret that OI had left her.

But given how she behaved towards me what else did she expect.

She went on to treat her subsequent partners the same way so learnt nothing

Me too!!!

Absolutely not. Aside from admitting to being in love with another woman he put his friends before myself and our daughter time and time again. I didn't want her to grow up thinking this was how men treated their wives/partners.

No regrets.

I celebrated when they left.

Celebrated when the paper work came through.

Divorced twice and the divorces have brought me nothing but joy and happiness. I don't think I'm very good at being married.

I divorced my ex dh because I was basically a single parent, living with a man who was work shy, who did very little around the house and refused to get help for his mental health!
I don't regret divorcing him but also don't regret marrying him (I loved him very much for many years and had 2 dc with him)

I will never stop being sad about my divorce, but it's a complex thing rather than simply being sad because we are divorced. I'm sad it all went wrong, I regret the things that made it go wrong, I'm sad we both changed so much which meant we couldn't repair it and ultimately made him look elsewhere. I'm sad because we were so happy when we got together. I'm sad that I will never know that kind of youthful happiness again. But you just have to move on.

Married 24 years, separated and now divorced for 2. No regrets but sadness, because the relationship had some good aspects but also a lot of apathy and some controlling/abusive behaviour on the part of xh. He is a better ex than he was a husband, which can be confusing, but if I think hypothetically about getting back together with him, I know nothing would be different and I instantly reconnect with the weight of anger and unhappiness that I was carrying around with me for years. It's tough financially but then it was tough financially to be with him as well. At least now I can make choices that work for me and be in control of how they pan out.