to think I'm probably not going to meet anyone..

Oh for sure. I knew a guy once (friend of my brother) he was mid to late 30s, no kids, no long-term relationships that I knew of. Then suddenly I hear he's buying a house with a single mum of three and getting married! Soon had a baby on the way and as far as I know they're still together ~15 years later. I have no idea why no one had snapped him up before (I would've done if he hadn't been my brothers friend who I'd known since I was a kid!) so yes it absolutely can happen.

I used to be firmly against dating single dads and I'll still state that on online dating, but if I met someone naturally who I was attracted to who happened to be a dad I'd possibly give it a go. I expect a lot of men without kids are probably the same. Wish you luck!

Hmm I was a single parent with 2 kids when I met the guy who became my sons Dad. We were together 9 years. After him I met my ex husband who also had no kids. ( Never had any with him) Now my partner has kids but they were grown up and had left home. It's really not been an issue.

You're right, but this is one point out of many. Children do take time, and full-time work with a child is very difficult, I don't think anyone would dispute that. Childcare is phenomenally expensive. You may be successful, you may not need (or want) a partner's support, but life is easier with it. No-one ever enters a relationship (if they're a single parent or otherwise) saying they don't want any money or support ever, from that partner. That partner (man or woman) will inevitably have to pay for food, petrol, utilities (if living together), activities, for you and that child at some point. These are costs that that person would not otherwise have had to have paid had that child not been there, so I think my point is fair. Dating a single parent will cost more than dating a single person.

People may scoff at this advice but I have used this kind of technique successfully, in life changing ways.

@C1N1C

Excuse me, what? Another person from
the 1800s who thinks women can’t support themselves. You actually think every single mum is looking for a new man to
support her and her kids? You realise we can earn our own money, buy our own property. We’re even allowed bank accounts!

There are men who are fine with dating single mums... but many see it as a no-win. What do they get out of it?

• They (eventually) end up supporting you AND the child
• The child may (often) end up not taking 'stepdad' seriously "you're not my real dad!"
• The man can't discipline the child as if it were his own
• The man is always the villain in any disputes
• Competition/presence of bio-dad
• Child ALWAYS comes first (no time, cancelled dates, etc)
• Sex drive often plummets after children (frequently mentioned on MN)
• What if he loves you, but the child is a monster?
• Even if it's long term, and the new man loves DC, if the relationship breaks up, he has ZERO rights... so he loses you, loses the child, and probably a fair bit of time/money over the time raising them

Obviously there are comparable reasons for dating single dads too...

I think ruling out a man with kids is a bit short sighted really.I would imagine that not many single men would be up for meeting a woman with children already.Also less likely to understand ,if DC have demands on your time or whatever .Be patient and someone will come along .Our old NDN met their DH through her parents NDN!

With all the dates I had this past year, only one had children. The rest all childless. Guy I’m with now is childless. However, I’m mid 30s and he is 44 so maybe that’s the compromise? He’s older.

Only op wants other kids so how would that work? Fine to not want to date a single dad but obviously expect it to take longer as most childless men will prefer Childress women.

I wouldn't touch a single dad either tbh. However I never expected a man I dated to be involved with my kids

I am a single mum of two. Been with a lovely childless bloke for nearly 3 years now. It's totally possible. And for what's it worth I totally agree with you re dating men with children. Complete ball ache in my experience and I'd never do it again if I became single. Hold out for what you want. No reason at all it can't happen

It's likely a young single man will want a young single woman without children to start his own family. It's baggage they don't have to take on. It's a bit short sighted to completely cut out men with children already.

I gave up on that a long time ago. And focusing on me. And I want kids so it’ll have to be alone.

@Inmynotgivingafuckera
Wrong thread.

Edited as posted on the wrong thread!

🤣🤣🤣

Of course I know there are happily unmarried families these days. There are still men who get women pregnant and refuse to take responsibility for the child or commit to the mother of the child. And it does make a difference, even today. I can't see how it's desirable for any child to have an absent 'father', whose absence demonstrates his disregard and lack of care for both child and mother, regardless of the century.

Illegitimate? Where you born in the 1800s? I think we can move on from that ridiculous notion. There really is no implication from being “illegitimate” nowadays and it makes not a damn bit of difference. About a third of families are single parent families now. So…maybe keep your old fashioned views to
yourself?

I'm 30 something single 4. 5 years and feel exactly the same. It doesn't matter how many times people say I'll meet someone, I'm starting to accept now that I won't.