Married neighbour wanting me

He's made sure they 'bump into' one another. The proposition wasn't spontaneous. Men like him are experts on cornering and compromising women.

Yes, this is indeed strange. Sorry, but there must be more to it than this. So you have never spoken to him alone, only bumped into him randomly outside in passing and yet he's suggesting an affair- lol what?

I suspect there is more you arent telling us.....

Me and him have never been alone other than if we bump into each other outside the houses.

Slightly confused by this OP. If you've never been alone with him, how have you managed to get into this depth of conversation by just bumping into him outside of your respective houses? A married man surely doesn't just put the bins out, see his neighbour and propose they have an affair?

He's a chancer. They try it on with anyone.

When he accepts your 'no' and worries you'll inform his wife he'll tell her you have a crush on him and you resented being turned down.

You'll know when this happens as she'll be frosty with you.

I've seen this done.

He's a sleeze.

Make it clear at the next possible opportunity that he's definitely not your type, you're not interested under any circumstances and if he keeps bothering you you'll let his wife know what he's up to.

Boredom
Lack of sex at home
Because they can
Wanting to know they're still attractive to others
Feeling unwanted in their marriage

The same reasons women look elsewhere but you know this, surely?

This. It's pretty obvious- he wants the excitement of an affair which is just about sex and he likes the idea of it being illicit and exciting whilst still having his home life intact. Its also a huge ego boost which releases dopamine in the brain - just like gambling etc Sex and validation that he's still got it.

I think what you said about "if he was single" was a bit weird though- why did you need to say that? why not just say no. Saying if you were single implies that you do in fact find him attractive and he will have loved that because it probably inflated his already massive ego. He sounds like a massive dickhead and you just essentially complimented him

Yep. If that constitutes 'not flirting', the whole concept of flirting is meaningless.

A missed opportunity to tell him that no means no. And why are you even hanging out with him? Surely the less you see of him the better?

Because they can. Someone lets them. He's not going to give up OP - you've give him the amber light, by indicating you would if he was single. He thinks it's green next if he perseveres, not red. Shut him down. Not doing so suggests you are flattered/titillated by his attentions, rather than wanting him to stop. Your reply was very disrespectful to his wife.

This.

You told him you find him attractive. That was a mistake.

He thinks there's still hope.

Your first mistake with this Chancer was telling him you would be with him if he was single.
That's a green flag to a Philanderer.
What would his wife say if she knew you said that?

I had a very similar situation. He would wolf whistle, make little comments, 'Slide into my SM's as they say.
I shut him down and, years later, he still totally blanks me.
Big baby 😂

Could be anything from he’ll shag anything that moves to there swingers in a consensual open marriage

but irrespective it has drama and grief written all over it they’d be no future
so why bother to find out

don’t invite drama into your life give it a miss

It's not you, you're just convenient. He'll be trying it with a dozen others too, because he's a sleazeball.

Honestly, they're tedious! Your post made me think back through my (much longer than yours) life - roughly half of my neighbours and my friends' partners have tried it on with me. All it tells you is that they're shoddy blokes.

It's really not that they're so magnetically attracted to you they can't think straight or so terribly sad in their relationship they need an outlet. They're just seedy. They have a go at any woman they think might be a prospect, much like popping an each-way bet on a hunch. If they win a bit, great; no harm done if they don't, better luck next time.

To answer your question. Men try it on because they ate bored.they look elsewhere for someone different. They don't want to lose their home and security though. They want cake and eat it as well.i am assuming you are fairly young still.he is disgusting anyway but to try it on with the young ndn is gross

Yep, he'll see that as an Amber light/soft no. Surely you know that

And I don't believe no flirting.

You basically co signed his flirting by saying if you were single...

Oh dear. I agree with @QueefofSheena ... sounds like he's got into your head a bit.

I don't doubt you genuinely disapprove of his behaviour. But you also find him attractive on some level. You've got mixed feelings but your interest has been piqued, I think. (e.g. knowing he has a sex life with his wife.)

Leave well alone. He doesn't sound like a nice man 🚩🚩🚩. Also it could get pretty uncomfortable if you shit where you eat.

Scumbag who thinks with his dick. Ten a penny. Also fucking smoker trying to push his deadly addiction on you - bottom of the barrel. Avoid.

By telling him that if he was single, you’d be interested, you have told him that you find him attractive. If you are serious about never going there, it makes no sense to have told him that.

Then he’s occupying your thoughts and you’re posting on here, I think you’re on dangerous ground because you’re flattered and you’re thinking about him.

The bloke is a scumbag, willing to cheat and who doesn’t take no for an answer. Stop thinking of him, stop talking to him, stop writing about him.

I'm thinking of someone very specific with my answer so its not a one size fits all explanation but I think in his case its an escape or way out... I'm not saying its right either before someone jumps on this.!

In their case the couple spend a lot of free time apart. I def. see she has changed and quite rapidly (not physically, but I mean attitude and expectations) and even I have pulled back a bit from our friendship because the ''new'' her does say one thing one minute, and then does a complete flip about a week later as long as the situation is to her advantage. I'm positive its not a dementia issues either. At times, I have felt a bit used and I haven't seen that side to her before and I have known her longer than her DH has. I find it unattractive in a friend.

The single friend who was approached is a mutual friend to all of us. She is early 30/s. She was somewhat concerned and told me a week later. I won't go into detail because someone will want to pull apart our discussion and it hasn't happened since. But we both know they both are unhappy, but its up to them to sort it too.

You told a married man that if he were single you’d date him? 😂
What made you think that was appropriate?

Come on OP really.

“Married man in ‘potential cheat’ shocker!!” 😱

🙄

I said "if you were single yes but you're married so no"

And what he would've heard is...

I fancy you so keep trying and you never know

I'm not saying that's what you meant, but that's what he will have heard.

Threaten to tell his wife next time and mean it.