Married neighbour wanting me

Your single so assumed to be desperate for it, in his mind he can shag and discard when done.

Because he can and foolishly you entertained the conversation.

the minutes my friends husband stroked my arm I was - what the fuck are you doing?

So what happened in the end ?

How did all these conversations happen in the street, “if you was single…” etc. Does sound like you like him / fancy him. If I was the wife I’d be mad at him but also wouldn’t appreciate that comment from yourself… it’s a bit leading him on to temptation. How did he even say that he wanted you in this way ?

Sounds like the title of a cheesy porn video.

What a weird thread. Men have cheated since time began. Nothing new there. Sounds like a stealth boast to me....

This.

Yes, you do sound like you are flattered with a post title like ”married neighbour wanting me” and then asking us to analyse your interactions with him.

Your words suggest you're not interested but the tone of this post actually suggests you're quite pleased with yourself.

I've never, ever, heard of a non-smoker being persuaded into having a cigarette with 'go on, just one'? That is bizarre.

OP, you've done nothing wrong but you are unwittingly encouraging this man by engaging. He's set out his stall - he's happy to be disrespectful to his wife and pursue you if you'll take him. You're better than that.

Just outright, "No, I'm not interested". If he's stupid enough to carry on after that, tell his wife.

How on earth do you know about his sex life with his wife? This conversation went on a lot longer than you're letting on.

You say you’ve never flirted but saying to him ‘if you were single, yes’ is extremely silly if you are trying to shut it down completely. He’ll only hear the ‘yes’ and keep trying.

Hugely disrespectful to his wife, too - as PP’s have said.

🤢

Sorry to be a bit blunt but since you’re asking the question, I think it’s the wrong one.

You should be asking why does your neighbour want no-strings sex with a woman in a convenient location - someone who will almost certainly not tell his wife as you’d be sh*tting on your own doorstep. I think the reason is obvious.

I’m not saying this to have a dig at you but I think men like this often sense something vulnerable and it’s more of a predatory move than anything else.

I feel it’s quite insulting tbh. This probably is because I was groomed as a teen - not because I was devastatingly attractive but because I was a little vulnerable.

The smoking thing is such a huge red flag. You and your welfare mean nothing to him. That’s a power play.

I think you’re asking the wrong question. - not why do “men”, but why this man and why me.

Or better yet waste absolutely no more thought on him.

Also, despite only ever "bumping into him" on the street, she seems to know that he's still having sex with his wife? How exactly did that conversation come about?! Or have you heard them through the walls? Far more to this story than OP is letting on.

So why did he want me? They've been together two decades so surely this isn't the first time he's looked else where. Do they do it for control given I'm his neighbour? He's bored? I really don't understand it. If he's not happy I don't get why he doesn't just leave.

Come off it - nobody is this stupid 🙄

I just want to clarify again I will not be pursuing with it.

She who doth protest too much springs to mind....

I’m not sure why posters are so quick to tell the op it’s not you, it’s not because you’re attractive, you’re one of many. (Well I can guess)

Blame the op for her response which I doubt many of you have been in the position to give your perfect reply.

I do think you are giving this too much headspace and that is probably why you have the bitter replies.

He's just looking for a diversion. Also, you told him that the reason you won't have an affair with him is he's married. He doesn't care that he's married, so in his mind, why should you?

I think probably he's just bored and fancies a challenge. What a dick.

He sounds grim.

He's a randy old shit.

You haven't handled this well @Namechanged000000, with men like that you need to be blunt and walk away, not coyly suggest his wife is the barrier.

He's a sleazy piece of shit but you should not have told him you'd be interested if he was single. Next, he'll come slithering up to you lying, and telling you he and his wife are on a break or have separated so you can go ahead with that fling you would have had if he werent attached.

I think you are attracted to him because I simply dont understand why you'd say it otherwise and he seems to be taking up a lot of your headspace for someone you've only bumped into a couple of times.

He's just a boringly average cheating lying twat, there are plenty of them about and there really is no deep or meaningful reason underneath- he just wants to get his leg over. Also, why did you think he was "such a lovely guy" if you've never actually spoken to him alone?- how can you possibly ascertain someone's character from seeing them momentarily whilst taking the bins out or whatever?

I agree, you should have told him you weren’t interested and not qualified it with “but if you were single”. Now he’ll always think he has a chance.

This. The story has more holes than a sieve.
You need to steer clear.

Why on earth did you tell him you would be interested if he was single? And once you had told him that why on earth did you think he would leave it at that?