Married neighbour wanting me

“No” would have been much shorter and more effective.

As for why some men cheat, to quote Blanche Deveraux: “The same reason a dog licks himself - because he can.”

I told him this after he said he wanted to be with me. I said "if you were single yes but you're married so no"

That's kind of giving him the validation he needs to try and peruse. No would have been suffice.

there's a few of us who all chat and have a laugh. I get on with his wife but I don't see her out and about as often as him. Me and him have never been alone other than if we bump into each other outside the houses. I've never flirted.
Ah, a local group drinking at the pub. I was part of a group like this many moons ago when I was single.
You shouldn't be flirting with him OP, as others have said; now you're turning it over and over in your mind, getting ready for an affair next time you're both drunk. It's pathetic, and not good for you. Honestly, online dating is annoying, but in this kind of situation much better for you.

Simple thing to do. Next time there is any suggestion, make it clear that is the last one, or you will speak to his wife. And 100% go through with it.

Even though I think you should not have responded in the way you did initially.

You've basically told a married man u fancy him

This.
It’s an incredibly flirty thing to do.

I think OP is flattered by this seedy man’s attention.

Men like this need shutting down.

I also suspect the “ Cigarette “ he offered was a spliff.

You saying “If you were SINGLE, yes” was a round about way of you saying “I find you attractive- I might give in “

He obviously will continue as he sees you as low hanging fruit.

You gave him a big fat green flag.

Yet you still told him if he was single you would.

Totally inappropriate.

You have given a vibe and he’s responded.

What you should have said was

“you’re married. That’s disgusting”.

Because single or not he’s the kind of kid that hits on women behind his wife’s back.

By telling him you would if you were single you have told him you fancy him. He’s thinking it’ll just take a bit longer to wear you down. It’s like if you are on a diet and someone else keeps wafting cake under their nose. You know that eventually, if they ask often enough, and leave enough cake lying around, they will eventually catch you in a weak moment and (bad day, feeling tired or vulnerable, wanting comfort) eat the cake.

Don’t eat the cake, and tell him you don’t like the cake and would rather go and get your own healthy snack.

I’ve had a similar experience with a 50 year-old senior guy at work. Married, 2 kids, a seemingly idyllic life. He shows interest in me and tries to engineer ways for us to be alone together and likes to talk about non- work things with me.

I have no idea why men do this. I’m in my 30s and I could not be less interested. I’m not interested in single middle-aged men, let alone the married ones with kids.

I think a lot of men are completely deluded about their attractiveness to young women.

I've very clearly said no to him, that it would be unfair on his wife. I said if he was single yes.
From his point of view, you've said 'Yes'. And that is flirting, so you do flirt. Men see unpartnered women as opportunities. It's not personal. Usually.

I concur though I daresay only one hole is relevant here.

I’d lie and tell him my bf lives a three hour drive away or something like that if you want to be rid of his advances.

can you imagine the fall out if you did get it on together. You couldn’t even escape to your home to get away from it.

How do you know he has a sex life with his wife? Sounds like you two are too close as it is 😳

Boundries have clearly been crossed already with these types of conversations. Not your usual across the fence convos, are they?!

It’s as straightforward as it would be convenient sex as you live so close and it would also be slightly risky because you live so close and know his wife. Win win for him. And given it’s all about him, that’s all he is interested in.

He’s obviously an arsehole but you telling him” if you were single “ he’s not going to stop now!
🚩🚩

Why on earth are you having a convo where you’re telling a married man you’d shag him if he were single? Sorry but you’re every bit as bad as he is in this scenario.

It’s hard to say without knowing him but I would probably disagree with the comment that you’re clearly just convenient and he’s not attracted to you. It’s rather insulting to you! There clearly is a sexual interest in you and he’s risking everything by shitting on his own doorstep. I think it’s more likely that he’s unhappy, willing to leave his wife particularly since kids aren’t involved but is too cowardly to do it without lining someone else up first. It’s weird that it’s come from nowhere though: s he doesn’t really know you, has never had a conversation alone with you and yet is happy let you know he’s happy to hop into bed. A very superficial attraction. Clearly the possibility of you telling her doesn’t bother him either, so add arrogant to that too.

Yet you’d go out with him if he was single?

Probably preens in front of the mirror before stepping outside, just in case.

Soooo….in hindsight, not really the best approach. It let him know that you would be interested if he were single, which in his mind, could mean a green light to continue to pursue you. This isn’t exactly shutting him down in no uncertain terms.

And how do you know what sex he is or isn’t having with his wife?

You probably shouldn’t have said you would if he was single. Why even say that?

Which bowl does the car keys go into?

“Married neighbour propositioned me” would make him sound like the creep he is. Whereas “Married neighbour wants me” makes it more about the OP.