AIBU to keep my DD in all summer

Invite all the kids over except the bully. The other kids will probably appreciate being away from the bully kid as well. When bully sees them all streaming over to yours., her behaviour might improve

Me too. I'd just be out there and tell her off every single time. If the parents won't parent her then I would.

I would bollock the kid

Bring in reinforcements for your DD - ie get a non-gated community buddy over for a playdate, and send the two of them out there to play if they want to. That way your DD has a guaranteed friend. if all goes well, they'll play as part of the wider group. If not, your DD and her friend can play together. As appropriate considering the setting, provide snacks/drinks/toys for them to take with them.

We have had similar situations in the past and have found this quite effective. The bully also then tends to lose interest and/or groups sort of splinter in a more natural way.

Walk her back the first time and speak to the parent. After that: "You are being unkind and need to go home. Do you need me to take you so I can explain to your parents why you have had to come back?"

The parents clearly won't intervene unless it is a problem for them, so make it a problem for them.

Take your daughter out and supervise and give her sweets to share out with her friends. She’ll soon be the centre of attention.

The OP's daughter is only 7...

Did you speak to the parents, OP?

No, your kid shouldn't stay in at all - as that is teaching her a very bad message to be teaching her.

I think helicoptering does make bulling much worse, but speaking to the parents and if they won't tell their own kid off, then I would lose my absolute shit with this child - and im not sorry

Go with her and sit in the background with a book. Take bubbles. Hand out popsicles. Ensure your DD has an exciting "new" toy to share each time you go (things like chalks, a comet ball, a kite, a remote controlled car). There are all sorts of strategies you can use as an adult to subtly shift the dynamic and put a stop to the 9yo's antics.

Divide and conquer. Invite the younger ones round for an ice cream and bubbles party.

Far from being embarrassing, I find that we have kids queuing up to play with us when I actually engage with my 6yo at the playground.

But no you can't keep her in all summer. And tbh she's too young to be playing out without fairly close supervision.

I would not be going out with a nine year old when it's a gated green the other kids will make fun of her. Let her out when the other girl isn't there and tell her to come back if she arrives.

It's the MN answer to everything - the motion sensor sprinkler 🤣

Have a picnic in your garden. Invite lots of dc including the bully. Install yourself on a chair with a book. Intervene at every awful incident. Tell her straight if she can't play nice she will have to go home. Show her she will be the one pushed out if she can't behave. The one time helicopter parenting is fab!

Organise some fun things for your DD. She's only 7.

Do you have a garden? Set up a pool, outdoor games, ice creams etc. Invite a couple of nice kids over and let them have a better fun time than hanging around on a green being left to entertain themselves unsupervised.

Sort out a few trips to places like the beach, a park etc.

Work on helping her form some friendships away from the bullying.

Ask parents of two of the other kids if they would like you to take them out to the park, petting farm, excellent playground?
Invite the other kids round to your house for some sort of exciting activity - cake decoration, computer games, karaoke, whatever they might enjoy. It won't be the weather to play out all the time - get them round when it's raining.

Ultimately, if kids are playing for unsupervised, then they also need to find ways to deal with each other themselves. If you can help her build bonds with other kids and then talk through some other resilience strategies that she can use with the unpleasant child (eg responding calmly, holding her ground confidently) then she has a better set of tools to deal with the situation and all the other situations in the future when someone is unpleasant or over bearing. Good life skills to have.

Over supervising and repeatedly involving the other parents is only a short term fix.

Could it help to go backwards and find out where this actually started if they all got along ok before? When was the first incident? What was it about?

Do you have a garden? If so maybe invite some of the nicer children to come over to use a paddling pool etc. it will encourage a stronger bond with them.

We have a similar set up here.
Unfortunately in our experience it was the children where the parents were too involved who got picked on the most. As the kids knew the Mums were going to be annoyed and back up the antics of the child, regardless of whether it was their fault or not (not as in the case if your DD)

I would maybe give your DD a nice chat in how to not engage with the girl who is picking on her, and soon the other children will pick up on her nasty behaviour and their little eyes will see they wouldn't want to be treated like that and will side with your daughter over the bully.

On MN it goes from threads on how we can't let children out until they are teens to omg young people can't cope.

When we were all children we learnt lessons playing out, and someone of us are still lucky enough to live in an environment where this is safe. Let her go and develop her own coping skills, knowing you are there to help behind closed doors. But let the kids sort out their own relationships, nasty children never come out of top...especially at this age.

I'd up your number of invites to dc from her friendship to do activities - go to the park, do some baking etc. Hopefully it will strengthen relationships to decrease the chance of exclusion.

Also you can practice some things to do if she's being excluded - my dc used to walk away and find something else to do.

OP you have a little girl, not a dog. No you cannot keep her in all summer - that is ridiculous and will only appease the bullies further

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Send your DD out to play and literally EVERYTIME this kid starts go and tell the parents. everytime. Hopefully they’ll get fed up of it and keep their kid in instead. Don’t punish the victim.

It’s a 9yo girl bullying her.