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help. Feel like I'm in love with DHs best friend

59 replies

giip · 27/05/2024 19:21

Aibu to ask what the fuck I should do.

I work with DHs best friend in the same office. However about a year ago as got put onto the same team and now work closely together all day every day.

For the past 6 months or so I've realised that I feel quite inappropriately about him. We get on well, talk all the time at work, laugh etc.. there is no flirting obviously.

I wouldn't act on this ever and I don't want to feel this either.

But what the fuck do I do? I work with this guy every single day and he is my husbands childhood best friend for goodness sake. I find myself in the mornings making more effort to look nice for work and I try and tell myself it's not because of him but I know that it is.

What do I do. Has anyone experienced anything similar and have these feelings stopped?

I love DH and am happy with him. These feelings have blind sided me.

OP posts:
giip · 27/05/2024 19:29

Don't know what I'd tell DH if I left as he knows how much I love it.

OP posts:
giip · 27/05/2024 19:28

No of course not. I guess I was just hoping I could ride it out and it would all just eventually fade away! Probably naive of me.

OP posts:
ClairemacL · 27/05/2024 19:27

But do you love your job more than you value your marriage?

giip · 27/05/2024 19:26

Londonscallingme · 27/05/2024 19:24

You need to leave your job. You probably also need to consider leaving your husband too, I’m afraid. There is no ‘good’ end to this situation I’m afraid; it’s about damage limitation.

Well I'm not going to leave my husband, I've not actually done anything! We have DC and a life together. What would leaving him solve?!

Leaving my job seems like such a big step. I love my job and the company I work for is the best. I've been there a long time.

OP posts:
Londonscallingme · 27/05/2024 19:24

You need to leave your job. You probably also need to consider leaving your husband too, I’m afraid. There is no ‘good’ end to this situation I’m afraid; it’s about damage limitation.

Keroppi · 27/05/2024 19:24

I would strongly consider moving teams, too

Keroppi · 27/05/2024 19:24

Go on lots more dates/quality time with DH
Read some erotica to get it out of your system. Or roleplay pretending your DH is a stranger etc

You have a proximity crush that's all.
Perhaps observe him to try and develop the ick Grin

ClairemacL · 27/05/2024 19:22

Find a new job.

MaryMaryVeryContrary · 27/05/2024 19:22

Leave the job.