To not make my son have his vaccine?

I'm pretty sure he can change his mind and have done later, boys born after September 2006 can access a catch up. If he sleeps with men, so higher risk as boys have not been vaccinated for years like girls, then men under 45 can access it through a sexual health clinic. It's not now or never.

The boy is autistic. He can’t ’turn off’ his sensory issues, any more than a paralysed person can walk (because ‘it’s only a few steps’) or a person without sight can view the cliff edge in front of them (because ‘it’s to stop you dying if you fall off it’). It’s got nothing to do with mental capacity. You can’t force him, and you shouldn’t force him. I say this as someone who believes in the efficacy of vaccines. If he needs urgent medical care, he needs to trust his parents. My young person (who is autistic and has a tested IQ of 130) needs annual monitoring of a congenital problem. It’s bloody hard and - for them - bloody traumatising. The panic is heart wrenching. Unless you have a child experiencing this, you have no idea.

If a child has mental capacity, it’s extremely unlikely. This is not the same as having much needed cancer treatment to save your life.

To add I was thinking of getting it done but then Covid happened and everything went tits up. He’s an adult now so most definitely down to him to decide.

I think Gillick competency in these circumstances could only be over-ruled in the court of protection.

For HPV I wouldn’t be too bothered. My eldest son hasn’t had it as it wasn’t on the vaccine schedule for boys at the time. My youngest son has because it was. I don’t think it’s as important as a lot of other vaccines so for this one I wouldn’t sweat it.

Mine are vaccinated. Their choice.

You are deciding that for him then?

Teach your boys to warn women about this before they have sex then. And use condoms forever.

That would be assault.

The nurse won’t inject a 13 year old that is being restrained by a parent and doesn’t consent.

It doesn’t sound like his disability is related to sexual functioning, so it seems unlikely he won’t be sexually active. Plenty of people with mild learning difficulties, or wheelchair users etc, are happily partnered with all that comes with that!

As mentioned, this was what my mum (who is a nurse), said to me to talk me into having it done at school, which I then did, with no trouble. At no point was I actually restrained.

As others have mentioned Gillick competency:
"Gillick competency can be used when young people wish to refuse medical treatment. However, if a young person refuses treatment which may lead to their death or severe permanent harm, their decision can be overruled."
Which suggests to me that, it may be possible to overrule a 13 year old's refusal of a vaccine in this context, even if it did mean that a parent firmly held, or restrained, the child.

However, suggestion actually was around the way the choice was phrased, in order to try to avoid any distress around restraint, just sharing a personal story which was what convinced me to have it done at school.

No nurse or GP will let you restrain a 13 year old that is saying no, so a vaccine can be administered. I find it hard to believe any professional would agree to this if the patient is not agreeing.

If they did, then shame on them and shame on you. A great way to make a needle phobia ten times worse.

Sorry for the confusion - I'm suggesting the parent does the restraining, if the teenager cannot be talked into it, not that a nurse or GP should.

No nurse or GP will restrain a 13 year old to give them a vaccine.

Unpopular opinion, but yes, as his parent you can force him to have this, in the same way you could force him to have an operation or other medical treatment. His health is ultimately your responsibility.

I also didn't want the vaccine when I was at school, due to being scared of needles and injections. Didn't matter what my mum said in terms of the medical consequences of not getting it, because I knew and understood that, but was just very scared.
She said that if I refused it at school, she'd take me to the GP to have it done, and would hold me down if necessary and it'd be worse for everyone.
If this is the 3 injections in a year one, I believe she also said if she had to do that she would come into school for me to have the other two, and would do what was necessary for me to be given it, whether that was holding me down, or giving me it herself (she's a nurse).
I got it in school (all 3), had a friend hold my hand, took some sweets for afterwards, and was generally alright. Plenty of others who were nervous too.

I'd go for the tact of giving him a choice with both options being acceptable to you, along the lines of 'Would you rather have it at school with your friends, or at the GPs with me on a different day'. If he's still saying no, 'No isn't an option, you have to have the vaccine, your choice is about where you'd like to have it, at school or the doctors'.
If he's refusing to make a choice, sign the school forms anyway, let them know he's a bit nervous and that you'd like him to have it done, but to please let you know if they don't manage to give it to him or he refuses, and then you'll take him to the GPs for it.

Why wouldn’t he be sexually active?

If he’s disabled and not likely to be sexually active then I don’t see any need for him to have it?

Yes. It makes no sense. Why does your husband get to decide?

Did you not read my post?

That's no answer. It's a weak excuse. Are you afraid of your husband? Why does he get the final say so?

I see no problem in the vaccines, But i let him decide because the kids can hopefully get a vaccine when theyre adults while you cant take out a vaccine once its in

We had the local young people’s sexual health charity in, and nurses from the nhs too a few times- we did skip the part about human reproduction in biology though (the teacher was ‘ill’ for the time we should have been doing it and reappeared afterwards and moved on the the next chapter without covering it)

That’s so good that your school covered this! My (all girls school) was, erm, reluctant when it came to ‘human biology’ lessons. Basically sex ed was left to a revision class a week before exams, by which point (unsurprisingly given there were nearly 200 16 year old girls) at least one girl had left due to pregnancy. Then the class covered only the absolute basics for the exam. I remember being unsure as to whether condoms were used to prevent pregnancy, or assist it 🤦‍♀️ Other than that all we had was a ‘miracle of birth’ video that was, frankly, horrifying!