Why don't people reply to party invitations?

I'm with others who have said 6-8 weeks ahead for a child's party is very early to send invitations out.

I don't think it's always rudeness. I do always respond but if I received an invite 8 weeks in advance for a children's party unless it was a very close friend /relative I would not instantly respond.

DH doesn't always know his rota in advance and if he does happen to get a rare weekend off we don't want to spend it going to a child's party. If the weather is nice we may go camping.

A wedding/christening/big event would be different.

The "I like to wait and see how I feel nearer the time" brigade epitomise everything that is wrong in society.

It's so entitled and selfish. If someone has invited you (even if they're not one of your besties!) have some decency and respect for that person and reply. Don't leave them hanging waiting to know their numbers etc as it invariably causes extra work for them and often a fair bit of stress.

As many others have said on here, just fucking grow up!

I think it’s because they don’t want to come or are waiting to see if anything better comes up. I don’t mind when an invite is sent out, I’ll put it in the diary if the day is free, especially children’s parties.

We always go if we can, I’ve been to a party where only 4 children out of 24 turned up and felt really bad for the child. After that we always go to kids birthday parties unless I really can’t make it in which case I will say immediately that we are unable to come so that the hosts can sort out numbers.

When you’ve got multiples kids across your friendship group I have found it very rare to be able to pin point a get together with them all at short notice. We have to plan a month or two in advance to make sure we are all free/have childcare etc and there’s only 4 of us! I also found the ones who don’t reply/commit tend to fall by the wayside and rarely try to organise things themselves either.

I'm not in the UK so thanks for explaining. We don't have to set the numbers in concrete for things like soft play parties here, we just give a rough number then pay on the day based on the final numbers.

Wve moved country at shorter notice than 6 weeks! 😂

I’d agree with that. 6-8 weeks is pretty standard with my group of friends. The friends who can’t commit or want short notice get together have fallen by the wayside.

the more notice the better.

@Cofaki honestly, that's ok. We are totally different people. For important events/birthdays for my absolute best friends, mum, etc, I will always make time, without fail. But anyone else trying to pin me down for a dinner in 8 weeks time will get either a maybe or a no. And that means I don't care if they write me off for it. Because we're not close enough for them to dictate my diary in 2 months' time in the first place.

Going by this thread, it seems some people thrive on planning ahead and having the next 3 months panned out. I can't imagine anything more stressful than that. I'm pregnant and work full time, sometimes 60 hours a week, thanks. I like a lie in, a spontaneous weekend away etc. So I think it's a case of being friends with similar people.

We usually send them out 2-3 weeks ago.
Some parents reply immediately, some later and some don't bother at all and I have to chase the responses out of them ...or ( which actually happened) they'll just turn up out of the blue at the party and then I have to explain why we have more children then I stated.🤦🏻‍♀️🤷‍♀️

This is so rude. I'm glad I don't know anyone like you.

I am terrible at replying and RSVPing, it is really not intentional. I think it's because I'm terribly disorganised, believe me I have tried very hard to be organised. If I miss the deadline I accept it and am very apologetic. I also think some of it is being brought up in different culture, where social etiquette can be very different. Different things are considered important/rude so some things don't come naturally.

I'm sure some people have a lot on, I'm sure some people wait to see if they get a better offer,

Thanks for agreeing* *about being plain rude.

I was also brought up with good manners that included committing quickly so that the host could plan and NEVER being able to change my mind about a better offer. My DC’s are expected to do the same.

Lack of manners.

I sent my daughters invite out about 2’monfhs in advance as I got the fear that someone else might have a party the same day and no one would come!! Having paid large amounts of money for it I really didn’t want that to happen. I only had one not respond at all (and no phone number to chase) and she did bloody turn up 🤦‍♀️ then there were about 8 others who I chased via WhatsApp and they then responded / can you not do this OP?

Id rather long in advance tbh than last minute but I like to plan

I'd assume then that you are sending invitations too far in advance and that's why the responses are so slow coming in or forgotten.

I sent invites out for DS party on Friday, his party is Monday, so invites were 10 days in advance. I have 15 yes, 2 maybes and only 2 haven't responded.

Anyone that doesn't respond, I always assume they aren't coming.

People can be very self absorbed sometimes, and put it to one side to deal with later. It's like when children's clubs need paying for some parents leave it weeks after they've started back. Surely before they go back to school you run through what you need for the term? I.e p.e kit still fits, lunches paid for, clubs paid for? Maybe it's just me being over organised? 🤷🏼‍♀️. In regards to invites as soon as I receive it I check the calendar and RSVP straight away otherwise I will just forget and it literally takes seconds to do. I really don't like sitting on life admin if I can help it

Because a large number of people are inconsiderate, self-absorbed, want to keep their options open rather than committing to things, and are all round a bit shit.

It's this one.

This. I bet they wouldn’t miss that work deadline or date to pay your holiday deposit by!
People weren’t so rude years ago. You took an invitation home and parents replied within a week. Smartphones have a lot to answer for…

RSVP for what? A wedding? Then obviously rude.

A random bbq or bday parties? Fuck off for sending invites 8 weeks in advance. Who knows how I'll feel 8 weekends from now. I'm not committing to your silly little bbq 2 months in advance so I can then get your rage when I'm having a week from hell and I can’t make it anymore. So I often will say "maybe". If that's not good enough, just take it as a no.

The trend of booking random socials 6-8 weeks in advance now is ridiculous.

Lol, enjoying all the comments from people who are clearly the ones that don't reply.

We are all busy, we all have stuff on, nobody is so busy they don't have 30 seconds to send a text.

My DC1 is in reception so this is the first time I've had a party and invited kids that I don't know/parents I don't know and out of 8 invites only half have responded so far. Invites went out 1.5weeks ago and I need to let the venue know final numbers by the end of the week. I don't have the parents numbers as I'm not in the class WhatsApp group, but I'm going to have to get them off other parents in the next few days if they don't respond by then. It's so rude, I'm busy too, the last thing I need is to be chasing up grown adults for a text message.

We always rsvp within a couple of days of receiving invites.

Maybe they need to grow up and start behaving like adults.