Husband going away for weekend!

Who on earth are the 22% who think you're unreasonable?

This is a completely selfish man. I wouldn't call him if I went into labour. I wouldn't want a drunk anywhere near me while I was pushing a baby out. If he goes, he goes, but I wouldn't be calling him back.

He can't be a completely normal, nice, kind man the rest of the time. Selfish men are always selfish. Think about your longer term options.

I’m as laid back as they come, but there’s a really good chance he will miss the birth. He’s so out of order.

Yes this! Why couldn’t it have been in, say, March this year? It’s not even like it’s planned for the bank holiday! I’m sure his friends would’ve understood. What a selfish twat 🤦‍♀️

Who has a dickhead of a husband? Me? I don't have a husband at all. As for the Father's of my kids. Well the eldest 2s dad yeah he was a dickhead but nothing to do with not being at their births. He was away for the first - presume you heard of Iraq war? and missed the second not being able to get there in time ( 12 mins from first pain till delivery)

My youngest ones dad was there being a PITA as written above

And where did I say I wasn't bothered? As I'm not sure I said that all all . Only you said I wasn't bothered There were posters saying how HE will regret it if he misses the birth. None of us know whether he will or not so that's just an assumption.

I also said I wouldn't be happy about him going.

Jeez. You are literally risking your life to grow and birth your shared offspring and he can't even skip one weekend on the lash? I'm sorry, that's a bit shit really. I hope he sees sense.

I don't think that OP going away at some point in the future, presumably when her youngest is older, is is any way an equivalent scenario to OP being left on her own, heavily pregnant with a toddler, with the worry of going into labour without her husband.

Very low bar to set - firstly don't aak, tell, but this doesn't help op right now.

Poor op having to deal with this in her condition. Another one who wouldn't contact him - l would secretly hope he did miss the birth and he could then live with that for ever more.

Hope you get it sorted op.

Not only all this but he's leaving you with a toddler on your own when you could potentially go into labour? Never mind that it'll be exhausting. Have someone on stand by for your toddler and someone to go with you. How are will you be when he goes?

This.

His dismissiveness would really colour my attitude towards him.

How does a weekend away in the future help the op now? She is asking about her current situation, being left alone heavily pregnant with a toddler, whilst her husband lives it up with 'the boys'.

Equality and respect in this scenario would be the dh NOT going on this unnecessary trip and leaving the op at a vulnerable time.

I'd also wonder how far away he's going? I wouldn't be happy with anything beyond an hour. Well, tbh I wouldn't be expecting him to go at all.
Also, the fact that you could start contractions before bed and have baby by the morning. He would need to be contactable the whole time and not drunk at all. How likely is that going to be?
I really feel for you, it really sucks when men just can't see things from your perspective. Maybe throw in a few pains here and there, I'm not joking, he needs to put the focus back onto you, where it should be!! X

Ask him what alternative plan he has set up if you go into labour when he is away.

It is nothing related to "tit for tat"

It is about being treated equally & respectfully

Why should he be the only one who gets a child free weekend away ?

YANBU. I'd be really upset with that. Really selfish behaviour from him

Start making alternative arrangements for childcare and someone to be with you for the birth.

That's awful, hasn't he heard about current ambulance waits. A two year is difficult to be running after too. It also doesn't say much about his mates that they're apparently fine with this.

As an aside I hate it when people tell me not to worry, I'll assess the situation for myself, thanks.

It's pretty obvious he's selfish and you and the baby are not his priority. Can someone come and stay with you this weekend to help with the toddler and cover incase you go into labour? If you do I'd not bother telling him until he returned home with his hangover.

You say calmly and clearly if you miss the birth if our baby, if you’re not here and sober to support me, then I will never, ever forgive you. Not this year, not next year, not 5 years from now. As I go into hospital I will tell them not to let you in afterwards.

I wouldn't have married someone that likes to drink like that even if it's once a year but YANBU, he should have arranged it for the start of May or a bit earlier if he gave one ounce of shite about you.

You can’t change him but you do need to zone him out. Can you get a friend or parent to move in with you for those days he’s away to help with toddler?
Don’t initiate any contact with him while he’s away. If baby comes during that time he can find out on his return. You owe him no favours, he hasn’t got your back, sorry OP he’s all about him - good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

He sounds selfish and inconsiderate. I’d be very hurt if it happened to me

I think I'd be okay with it if it was one hour drive away and he didn't drink so could get back quickly if needed. But it doesn't sound like that's the case here at all. I wouldn't be happy about this at all.

I think he's absolutely wrong in this instance but are you seriously saying that men are only allowed to go on wholesome non drinking activities once they get married?

Was prepared to say chill out but not in your situation! Never got beyond 37 weeks with either of mine and despite first labour being days second was done and dusted in 6 hours start to finish at 35 weeks. So if Dh had been away as yours plans to he would’ve have missed it entirely