Bf doesn't understand grief

You made the right decision. You may be hurting now but it won’t be long before you’re kicking yourself for staying with him so long, then being happy with your improved life without him.

Well done OP!

Well done Op

Stay strong you are worth so much more

Well done OP. You deserve to be with someone who would have dropped everything to support you during this difficult time. Please remember a partner should make your life easier not harder.

Well done OP!

Time to focus on yourself and your grief.

Things will get better 💐

My friend is 30 years in pastoral in a top top university...the stories...fxxk. weed has killed the promise of so many.
Fxxking disaster.

I know it must hurt but you've done something you needed to do. He had wasted enough of your time.

Well done

Omg how boring! My ex was a stoner and in we were together years and now in his mid 40s he's still a stoner loser tbh

Never again. Sorry for your loss and dump this annoying boring selfish useless lump.

You've done great. Well done. Let your grief power you.

And, if I may say so, your step dad would have been very proud of you for taking control of your life.

Hi Op ,
I am sorry for your loss . I agree with what everyone else has said . He didn't have your back or was there for you when you needed him .
A relationship can only work for a limited time when you are the one that is putting in all the effort and not getting much back , which it seems to be what you were doing .

It would have been easy for you in the short term to think it was better having someone rather than no one , especially when you are feeling vulnerable . So it is great that you were brave and dumped him rather than putting it off .
Now is the time to concentrate on you and your Mum and your grief and not waste any more energy on this waste of space . Look after yourself .

Im so sorry for the loss of your step dad. Any decent human would understand that grief is personal and can be really hard and basically just be kind to you and be present for what you need and not make any demands. That’s a pretty basic ask from someone who is supposedly your partner.

As many have said, he sounds truly awful. Selfish, lazy, thoughtless, unkind. I haven’t got a hint of even one quality that would make him worthy of your love.

Your step dad has given you an amazing parting gift here of having the wool removed from your eyes and you can now have the space to grieve and then work on your self worth so the next man you get into a relationship with will be a million times better and totally different to this useless twat.

Tell this one bye and block him. Don’t honour him with even a moment more of conversation or negotiation- he will twist it to get the outcome that suits him as he appears to be the only one he’s bothering to look out for.

Sorry about your step dad

I think sometimes, when we're lonely and want to be in a relationship, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that any relationship is better than nothing. But, if you're with a loser, you're not giving yourself the chance to meet someone better. Brighter days ahead

You are strong! You’ve had the head wobble you needed to see that the way he was treating you was unacceptable and you deserve better.

Take the time to grieve both your stepfather and your relationship and then on to better things.

Well done op. It’s already difficult when something like this happens, and you grieve the relationship you hoped it would be.

Oh well done OP!

It's a wrench, when it was your normal. You're probably picking out the good bits now and heading for regret and maybe at risk of rethinking your decision.

If so, just read back everything you've said here. And all the advice, especially from women who've been there with druggie drop outs.

He can't and won't change. You can.

Maybe time to adopt a cat for yourself.

Well done @Starlive23 , I do think you've done the right thing and it's better to rip the plaster off.

Well done. Block his number. Look after yourself

Well done op. It's for the best, you can now focus on yourself and you'll soon see that he added nothing to your life. Spend that energy he was draining from you on yourself and getting through your grief. Sorry for your loss

@Starlive23 Bluddy hell, OP, if this is him going above and beyond for you then I would hate to see him being negligent. Please do yourself the biggest of favours and get rid of this waste of space. It's not your grief talking. Your grief is showing you the truth. When my mum died it was a huge reality check the showed me what and who were important in my life.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself. All the best to you.

So sorry for you loss @Starlive23 and for the fact that you are having to deal with all this on top of it, but times of crisis do bring things to a head and you are seeing his true colours now.

He has deliberately absented himself from getting involved in one of your saddest times. He's made it all about himself and his needs, whilst simultaneously proclaiming how well he treats you.

So he's literally saying this is the best he can do. The 31 year old man you have to telephone in the mornings to make sure he's up in time for work.

You have family and friends who do care for you and you will do better without this selfish inconsiderate millstone

Now stuck inbtge position where i don't really want to add heartache to grief as its already a bad time but honestly, i cannot spend one minute more being an afterthought.

I do understand where you’re coming from but surely it must break your heart more, knowing you are in a relationship but your so called partner doesn’t like or respect you enough to support you at one of the toughest times in your life.

I’d rather have absolutely no one than someone who I have to beg to be in my life and even then they end up making the situation worse.

This time should just be about you grieving for your SD but instead this waste of a space is taking up your energy.

Breaking up is hard but staying in a relationship like this is even harder.

He needs space?! He should be supporting you at this time, not you having to accommodate him.

Sorry for your loss .

(and loose the bf!)

Some brilliant advice here. Not much I can add other than to say, OP, you know 100% that this man (if we can call him that) will never be there for you so this is the time to cut him loose if you can find the strength. I lost my mum a couple of years ago and my partner was so supportive. Reading your story has made me feel so angry that this pathetic waste of space has treated you this way when he should be stepping up. Really hope you are OK and finding the support you need elsewhere. There is someone far better out there for you.