To be suprised at Butlins and their lack of neurodiverse awareness?

Tbh Butlin’s was the worst holiday choice for your dgd. It’s sensory overload.
I was a carer for adults with autism. Had to laugh about the family who wanted us to take their relative to Disney. Great idea given they went into meltdown at masks, fancy dress, clowns and anything remotely clown like, flashing lights, fireworks….. We’d have felt like torturers and the poor client would have been permanently terrified.
A quiet week in the New Forest looking at ponies ( a favourite), picnics and a car museum was very much enjoyed.
You have to pick the holiday for the person, you can’t bend the holiday to suit.

YABU. And with a child who has autism that pains me to say.

But look at practically. Even if Butlins did have Autism Friendly sessions they'd get gatecrashed by fat mouth breathers and their chavvy kids pumped up on yard-long blue slushies anyway. So you're fighting a losing battle.

Take your GD away in a small static somewhere and enjoy the quieter, simpler things in life.

I think it is at times like this that you realise that autism is a disability and that the life you imagined your GD will have is not the life that she will actually have.

You may be able to manage Butlins in the future, but you will do it differently to other families. You may find doing less, having more breaks and allowing more time can make some things possible. You will have to be choosy about the which things you do and when you do them. Welcome to the world of visiting things outside peak hours and peak times of year.

Many places do do autism friendly sessions but they tend to me at times when you can’t visit because of work/school. Many places do have adjustments but they rarely go far enough to make places completely accessible to many autistic people. Autistic people are excluded from society but I can’t see things changing. The alterations required are just too big/expensive.

And I also say this as a mum who sees all the amazing activities on over half term that my child cannot access because they will be too noisy/crowded/stimulating. It's really hard to find things to take my child to, often then are in far flung places, and because of that we have to spend an awful lot of time at home. My child's ND already cuts him off from so much, school and learning, from socialising and friendships, from travelling, and from the bright future that most 6yos have. I think businesses like Butlins can make a few accommodations.

It really does not sound like your grand daughter type of thing sounds like she would be happier paddling in the sea and rock pools and more gentle activities. I couldn't stand children parties as a child or children being loud and screaming, I am not ND just couldn't stand it! What you have explained would never have been my thing either.

I'd rather eat my own feet than go to Butlins full stop

Parent of an autistic child. I don't think it takes too much effort to make some autistic friendly adjustments. The first session of soft play or swimming to minimise queues with no restriction for ages. A single show that is not loud with crazy lighting. A limit on the number of people who can book the autism session so it's not busy and overwhelming - make it an extra early session so that no one else is missing out. I see all kinds of venues, big chains and small I dependents do these things all the time.

The first page of comments here are shameful. "Do you research and don't go" is telling this mum to that autistics should be excluded if they can't cope. If you're defending venues for not making adjustments then that's exactly what you are saying. It's f shameful of you.

I've not been to Butlins (and I certainly won't go now). If it is overall a noisy environment and not suitable for some with sensory processing difficulties then of course it can't be helped, but that's not too say that venues can't make small adjustments and try to make it a bit more bearable anyway.

You sound like a wonderful Nan. Your family are lucky to have you!

Sorry but it really would've been quite simple to research this beforehand. Why did you go in half term!

I'd rather eat my own feet than take any 3 year old to Butlins for half term week, go in term time when it's bit quieter maybe

I think bank holiday weekend/ half term week/ week before half term week (some schools had half term week last week and this week or have had a couple of inset days last week) is a very tricky time to visit somewhere like butlins at the best of times. It's going to be rammed, it's going to be very noisy. Just one look on the website shows this. They really are not quiet about the level of entertainment, activities and things they put on, it's one of their key selling points. Butlins is a huge holiday complex so it's easy to tell it will be busy. Perhaps middle of term time would have been better? Certainly things would have been a bit calmer as it would be similar age and younger kids than your GD and some of those would still be napping so things would be quieter and less busy. There would be a bit more staff flexibility with the soft play as well, it's likely that size is enforced when it is busy as it is a safety issue and if your GD is allowed, you know someone else will also want their DC allowed and then it becomes a free for all. If your GD is the only one in the soft play then it's different and staff would just say to move her if another child comes. As they are less busy they tend to tone down the music a bit as well as they don't need the volume vs when there are 100odd kids around. Centre parks or a smaller haven in term time may suit your GD better.

I associate Butlins with extraversion in my head. simple cheap pleasures for people who like in you face brash stuff.
Even if they had a policy of making adjustments for neurodiverse customers, the overall vibe would be wrong for someone who needs calm predictability.
In your situation, I wouldn’t go there again.

My DS is NT but gets overwhelmed easily in busy, noisy environments. I think a lot of NT as well as ND kids are the same. I would not have taken him to Butlins for this reason.

I wouldn’t expect Butlins at half term to be ND friendly. If I wanted to go to Butlins then I’d pick a quiet time of year and term time in the hope that it would be very empty or just preschoolers who would hopefully go to bed earlier than my ND grand daughter.

I wouldn’t personally pick Butlins as a holiday but I think it’s good for kids who’d be bored in a quiet AirB&B, liked the noise and were hoping to play with some random kids.

Yabu to have thought that they would ever consider doing anything other than getting bums on seats/cash in wallets.

We went to butlins with older two dc when they were tiny with extended family but when we had asd dc we realised that it wasn’t suitable thank fuck. Sadly neither was flying abroad as they couldn’t be trapped with others on a plane, see also trains and buses.

You tried, it was shit. Move on. Butlins is shit anyway

It butlins and it’s half term
what did you expect

YABU. There are SO many places you could have gone that would have been suitable for her. Not all places can cater for everyone, it's up to YOU to make sure there's something she can do, not everyone else.

Sometimes it’s hard just to get the other members of your family to accommodate one person constantly, not to mind 1000s of people. I know it’s hard.

You are being unreasonable to take someone autisic to Bustins. Everyone knows Butlins is super loud, flashy and chaotic. You should look into quieter holidays. Avoid shows and discos.

I think you expect too much, they are catering for the masses . You need to look for specific holidays for special needs .

It sounds like you ignored your granddaughters needs entirely when you planned and booked the holiday. If you can’t even attempt to cater to her needs, it is very odd that you expect a cheap, bog standard, profit driven enterprise like Butlins to do so.

it also doesn’t sound as if you attempted to advocate for her while you were there. Did you, at any point actually ASK for reasonable adjustments to be made for your granddaughter e.g when you were queuing? Did you even make butlins aware of her needs?

I have one kid with sound sensitivities and one with coeliac disease and you can bet your arse before I book ANYTHING I ask investigate what sort of environment I am taking them into, whether they will cope and whether there are any changes we can ask for that will help. I wouldn’t take my coeliac daughter for instance, to an all you can eat bakery and then moan that the staff hadn’t tried to cater to her needs 🫤. I wouldn’t take my sound sensitive daughter to Disneyland or a loud disco because that would be making a rod for my own back.

My DC aren't even neutodiverse but would avoid a Butlins set up because they wouldn't cope with the noise and hanging about etc.
I wouldn't cope with the noise etc to be fair either!!

Have to add as well that they have the sky park which is sensory and up to the age of 12, did you go to the silent cinema op?

I agree with you about the shows. You are not asking for every show to be autism friendly, but one is no big deal.
The ball poop pit is harder. If they let your child stay, they would have every parent with a slightly taller child, demand their child is also allowed in. And it would have made it unsafe for babies. It is why they do it by height rather than age as so many parent lie.
The disco not starting on time is a harder one. Places like this run on only the staff they need, so timings are always approximate. Prices would have to go up if they got enough staff to always stick to times dead on.

It isn't fair on everyone else though is it. Go somewhere quiet if you want a quiet holiday!