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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be suprised at Butlins and their lack of neurodiverse awareness?

410 replies

GreenPhlem · 27/05/2024 08:14

have just left Butlins. Will hopefully never go back.

We were visiting with our autistic 3 year old grandaughter.

Not one mention of “autism friendly” shows anywhere. Every thing we attempted was too loud and in your face, even with ear defenders on granddaughter was struggling. You would have thought a place like Butlins would put on at least one autism friendly show a day but nope … nothing.

We took her to the tots disco last night - was meant to start at 6pm so we got there for 6pm knowing DGD will struggle to wait for something to happen … 6:05pm and nothing is happening - DGD getting restless and wants to leave. 6:10 the redcoat comes on and says the kids disco will start in about 15 minutes. No chance we could keep DGD happy for another 15 minutes so we had to leave. As we were leaving he said something about another show that would be happening at 7:30 unless the PJ masks photo shoot goes on for too long then that activity will be cancelled!! God forbid they miss out on money making photographs

Swimming - you now have to book a time slot. We booked 11am. 11:05 were still in a queue outside in the rain. When we eventually get in the changing rooms are so packed out (as everyone is going in and leaving at the same time) that DGD gets overwhelmed and shuts down. Nowhere quiet to take her … no thought to neurodiversity

Took her to soft play. I booked her into the toddler area as she would struggle being around the big loud hyper kids. I was told she was too tall for the toddler area and have to go into the big kids area. A small, timid autistic girl going into the big kids area with 10/11 year old kids flying around screaming and shouting?? Was never going to work so we left (DGD was already starting to have a meltdown as soon as she saw the chaos of the big kids area).

Is it just me or what?? Surely a place like Butlins should factor in that some kids may require a bit of reasonable adjustment?

OP posts:
surreygirl1987 · 27/05/2024 19:15

GreenPhlem · 27/05/2024 08:20

What I expect them to do is to put on at least one show a day that is neurodiverse friendly … the cinemas manage it. Less flashing lights, volume turned down etc

To make exceptions at soft play for neurodiversity. It’s not all about how tall a child is. That is common sense.

The swimming thing was a complete farce which ever way you look at it

Show quote history

OP, I'm with you. I'm quite aghast at the number of posters who voted YABU but I think that just conveys societal attitudes to the neurodiverse at the moment. Things are cha going, albeit slowly. Of course you're not being unreasonable to think Butlins should consider people with disabilities! Offering an ASD-friendly show makes it accessible- in the same way they might put a ramp in addition to stairs for wheelchair users.

stichguru · 27/05/2024 19:08

I think you just need to research more carefully what is provided for you daughter specifically. I mean if there was "not one mention of “autism friendly” shows anywhere" then you weren't expecting them. I do think 25 mins wait for a kids disco is weird - like many neuro-typical kids wouldn't cope with that!

Soft play ages is about how tall and heavy the kids are. If your kid isn't tiny for her age then OBVIOUSLY she would hurt a littler kid if she fell on them just as much as a non disabled child, so she should NOT be playing in that area. I do think it is sad that there weren't better facilities for your daughter (a lot of the soft plays and trampoline parks round us have SEN sessions), but to be honest , a phone call would have confirmed what was available.

KarenOH · 27/05/2024 19:03

soupfiend · 27/05/2024 18:49

SEN is a very, very wide descriptor, its an umbrella term

What 'adaptations' would you suggest for this SEN then?

Show quote history

….I know?

the easiest one would be quiet sessions with limited numbers, no music, no flashing lights.

quiet time slots at restaurants.

detailed guides including pictures of different areas to show children in advance so they know what to to expect

staggered entry times to prevent queues

ear defenders for loan

sensory bags

chill out rooms

ForUmberFinch · 27/05/2024 19:02

Gosh there are some nice folk on here…. Not! A granny wants to treat her granddaughter. The OP has admitted they know better now so leave it at that.

whats even more worrying is that those slating the OP no doubt have kids themselves and are passing this intolerance onto them. Wowee. That’s going to create some delightful young people in the future. Gone are the days of be kind…..

soupfiend · 27/05/2024 18:49

KarenOH · 27/05/2024 18:41

it’s wild that people are genuinely trying argue that Butlins, a resort aimed at FAMILIES, should want to make some adaptions for the 1.6 million children in the country with SEN.

SEN is a very, very wide descriptor, its an umbrella term

What 'adaptations' would you suggest for this SEN then?

chocolaterevs · 27/05/2024 18:42

@Morph22010 So should Mount Snowdon put ramps in then? Butlins is the equivalent to ND people.

KarenOH · 27/05/2024 18:41

it’s wild that people are genuinely trying argue that Butlins, a resort aimed at FAMILIES, should want to make some adaptions for the 1.6 million children in the country with SEN.

Morph22010 · 27/05/2024 18:38

ByPeachSeal · 27/05/2024 17:49

Not every venue should cater to everyone. Butlins doesn’t need to specifically cater to ND people.

It’s okay. If you don’t like it, just don’t go there. Plenty love it.

Yes and no one should have to cater to wheelchairs either it’s not right that people have to but ramps in at extra expense, people in wheelchairs should just go to places that already have ramps

Morph22010 · 27/05/2024 18:33

Victoriasponge12 · 27/05/2024 16:32

Which Butlins did you go to? I’ve been to Bognor and found it to be much more accessible than most places. You can get a fast pass type wristband if you show proof of disability (I used DLA, although I appreciate that you DGD might not have this yet aged 3). They also have a quiet arcade (behind the centre stage entrance) with sounds on the machines turned off. I’ve never been to the other ones so not sure if they are the same.

Minehead has a quiet arcade also, I’ve never been aware of the wristbands at the other two although someone on here said you can get them

FlakyScroller · 27/05/2024 18:24

I understand all about what’s a reasonable adjustment and what isn’t.
I’m a school SENCO, I do it every day. We are having a lift fitted in our school which will mean leaving us without a usable IT room but we have to do it as we are not legally allowed to say we can’t meet need due to accessibility.

Sirzy · 27/05/2024 18:16

FlakyScroller · 27/05/2024 17:58

No but if it didn’t have wheelchair access they would be breaking the law.
In light of that read your post again.

Show quote history

Not quite that simple though, some places simply can’t be made wheelchair accessible so it’s about reasonable adjustments.

From what others have said Butlins do make some reasonable adjustments around things like queuing - although it seems these aren’t well publicised. Yes there is probably more they could do but what is realistic and reasonable is the question which is harder to answer.

dazzlingdoll · 27/05/2024 18:12

Yes you're unreasonable butlins is a busy holiday resort always has been loud

kitsuneghost · 27/05/2024 18:10

You went to Butlins at half term and are surprised it is loud, busy and in your face?
That's what Butlins is.

FlakyScroller · 27/05/2024 17:58

ByPeachSeal · 27/05/2024 17:49

Not every venue should cater to everyone. Butlins doesn’t need to specifically cater to ND people.

It’s okay. If you don’t like it, just don’t go there. Plenty love it.

No but if it didn’t have wheelchair access they would be breaking the law.
In light of that read your post again.

ByPeachSeal · 27/05/2024 17:49

Not every venue should cater to everyone. Butlins doesn’t need to specifically cater to ND people.

It’s okay. If you don’t like it, just don’t go there. Plenty love it.

Spinninggyro · 27/05/2024 17:35

OP I think you have are entirely reasonable in what you have said with regard to quieter areas for children who can find noise disturbing. Places such as Butlins are large so it should be possible for them to provide space, resources and staff to support these children and their families.

Well done for raising this.

KarenOH · 27/05/2024 17:33

Just to add that the argument that it’s loud / busy etc is bollocks.

even rock and pop gigs / live events such as festivals can cater for additional needs (sensory tents/ear defenders etc).

”festivals are loud and busy! Just don’t go!”

utter ableist and lazy shite.

ReggieCat · 27/05/2024 17:32

One of my friends has an autistic son (7). for the past five years she has taken the family to Butlins three times a year because it's his safe space.

bakewellbride · 27/05/2024 17:26

Yabu, you can see what it's like from the adverts / websites! Just stay away and take her somewhere else.

wombat15 · 27/05/2024 17:10

You would think they would have some things that are suitable. I noticed many theatres etc will have "relaxed" performances nowadays where they adapt things to try and make the experience less overwhelming. As she gets older perhaps it will be worth looking into that?

maddiemookins16mum · 27/05/2024 17:08

Butlins does not suit your needs.

Peahen81 · 27/05/2024 17:07

GreenPhlem · 27/05/2024 08:32

Ok I’ll accept I’m being unreasonable. I guess I’m just a bit precious about my DGD - she’s my absolute world and I am guilty of thinking she’s the centre of the universe 😂

I’m thinking for next year I’ll just book a lodge in a forest - she absolutely adores forests and from that base we can do day trips out to castles/farms/beaches etc

In hindsight I don’t know what I was thinking when I booked Butlins, we used to go as kids and loved it but obviously I don’t factor in that she isnt me bless her heart.

im still going to mention it in the reviews though.

If you’re thinking a lodge in a forest then try Forest Holidays. We went to the one in Forest of Dean. Lovely lodges in so much space. The lodges come with a hot tub so your granddaughter could have a little splash about in that at her own pace. There was a little playground too but very quiet and we were there in Easter. Outdoorsy activities you can book to do as a family like toasting marshmallows or building a den etc. might be more suitable than Butlins. My kids are not neurodiverse but at the age your granddaughter is they too would have found that overwhelming.

Frangipanyoul8r · 27/05/2024 17:07

There are huge variety of types of family holiday available in the UK. There is no way I’d take my eldest to Butlins for exactly all of the reasons you’ve described. It’s sensory overload hell.

viques · 27/05/2024 17:04

GreenPhlem · 27/05/2024 08:36

So that other neurodiverse families don’t make the same mistake

Show quote history

They are not going to put it on their website! I think you could contact them and make a few suggestions for ways they might make simple adjustments, but I don’t think they will do more because they are catering to a client base that actively wants the things your gd finds so hard.

I hope you find better places to take her on holiday in the future, your suggestions of what she likes to do sound ideal.

WhatsMyEmail · 27/05/2024 17:04

CenterParcs is expensive but we've found it much more relaxing than places like Butlins. Things to consider, that we found helpful (NT family but I'm quite noise sensitive):

  • We took cakes I baked and iced them in the lodge. A nice quiet activity that was much cheaper than the CenterParcs paid for activity. Our lodge had a huge table, so ideal for doing activities.
  • We booked a cabana at the pool so we could escape somewhere quiet. Ours had a TV and recliners and our toddler had a little quiet moment there (didn't quite nap but did snooze).