To be suprised at Butlins and their lack of neurodiverse awareness?

You expect one autism friendly show a day? At Butlins? You are being utterly ridiculous.

I think this is entirely on you for not checking if it was a suitable holiday for your child. You feel guilty that your child had a stressful time and are looking to blame someone other than yourself.

There are autistic friendly activities, there are crafts, little sport activities, walks, bikes. You took a sensory sensitive kid to a disco, swimming pool and softplay. Literally the loudest, busiest places you could find.

What could a swimming pool possibly provide for autisic people to hide away from the noise? Obviously it was packed when everyone was entering, you should have got there late when everyone else had gone in. Same for the disco, if you don't want to wait, be late.

Why should your bigger child be able to be a danger to the toddlers becuase you think she's too special to rough it with the kids her own size. Autisic kids are classically (I am autistic, this is not disablist) rougher, less observant of other kids around them, less controlled, they are less likely to not hurt the toddlers accidentally.

Perhaps you could send an email to someone at their head office with some adjustments you think could be made so the parks could be more autism friendly. Some of it may be a lack of awareness but some of it may be that they’ve considered it and concluded they can’t feasibly make the adjustments. Either way, there’s no harm in flagging it in a balanced way. If enough people ask for the adjustments, it may encourage Butlins to make those changes.

If it was this weekend you were there then I think it was always going to be busy and noisy with it being a bank holiday and half term, so it may possibly have been a bit less chaotic at a different time.

Sorry your weekend wasn’t ask you’d hoped.

YABU!
I have a son who is autistic. I check before we book places that they will be suitable. If they aren’t, we don’t go.

I wouldn’t even consider taking him to a disco at a family holiday resort. Doesn’t need spelling out what it’s going to be like!

My autistic DS wouldn't have coped with Butlins at that age. We've been going now since he was 11 & he has some self-awareness and can recognise when he will struggle. He will come and watch shows with us but sit with his phone and headphones on...often with his back to the stage! He will dip in and out of the fun but knows his limits. One of us is always prepared to leave with him if necessary.
Last year he wanted to go on a slide at the pool so we queued. After 10 minutes he said he couldn't wait any more so we went back into the pool. We said we'd check the queue next time, but agreed to visit our local leisure centre so he can do slides soon (SEN friendly session).
Generally we do Butlins once a year and our other holidays are much lower key in terms of quiet caravan/lodge accommodation and alternate busy and relaxed days. We don't expect places to make accommodations but appreciate it when they do, and we research pretty much every day out to make sure he can cope. Ultimately the majority of people are not neurodiverse, and a holiday disco without flashing lights, pyrotechnics and loud music is going to be a disappointment to that majority and result in more complaints than a handful from families with ND members who didn't pick their day out/holiday more carefully.

Which Butlins? You don't book swimming or soft play at any of them ones I've been to. 🤔

I think that you are allowed to just not like things, ND or NT, and Butlin's sounds like hell to me - everyone crammed in like sardines, constant noise. Just put it down to a learning experience and vote with your wallet- go somewhere else next time.

I think you're being YABU - sorry! You should NEVER assume that autism-friendly activities will be available during a busy half-term. This will be a key week for Butlins to make money and they're going to put on the kind of activities that do that - not a quiet hour/disco/swim that would probably be poorly attended. In future, always call in advance and check that things you book with your DGD are going to be suitable.

Our just 2.5 year old daughter with cerebral palsy was recently hurt by an almost four year old with additional needs in the toddler area of our local soft play. Height restrictions in soft play are there for a reason, there were babies from six months old, its just very very lucky they weren’t the ones hurt. When removed the child was significantly above both the age and height limit.

I don’t know any cinema that does an autism friendly showing everyday, and our son has a hearing impairment so we very much notice when different showings are offered.

Swimming sessions will always be busy when multiple people have the same start time. You’re better to be a bit late so most people have already changed and entered the pool etc.

How old was the toddler area for? If it was for babies or non walkers then a 3 year old probably is too big but I can see why she is also probably a bit young to be in with older ones having said that we go to a soft play where my 10 year old quite happily gets along with younger ones but she is very careful of them.

Stuff shows being delayed is annoying but that’s life. We have to teach them how to deal with it. Could you take her for a walk or something while waiting? I’m not sure I’d expect a special show because there may not be enough people.

The pool - that is annoying being let in late. Changing rooms can be loud and echoey. So I can sympathise with you there but so many companies have brought in booking slots and it is a pain.

I agree with the above try Center parcs. They don’t have loud shows and it’s all pretty quiet!

has it only just occured to you how challenging it is for those with ASD at times????

and yabu for taking her to the sensory hell that places like Butlins can be.

The thing that strikes me about your post is that you’re equating “suitable for neurodiversity” and “suitable for my granddaughter”. My friend’s son is autistic and would have a completely different set of issues and needs. And the soft play thing is a safety issue; it really is. Take my friend’s son, for example, who is a lovely, kind boy - but is tall and solidly built. If he collided with a toddler, there could be a serious injury. So I don’t think they can make those kind of exceptions in a busy, public space. I’m sorry you didn’t have a good holiday, though. Hopefully next time you’ll be forewarned and forearmed and will be able to find somewhere better for you all.

I'm ND as are my children. I suppose I'd never take them to somewhere like Butlins and I would assume even if they did make some adjustments that the number of people and the types of activities would just never work for us. We swim but we go at unpopular times at our pool or head to beaches that aren't busy in the summer. All of us would hate any kind of disco.

We actually don't do holidays but I'm sure you could get some suggestions on here of types of holidays you might consider with a ND child. Some autistic people don't like holidays at all and would be better off at home with some extra time for their special interests. Or perhaps a holiday focussed on a special interest.

holidays camps are very much about jollying along all together and are bound to be loud and overwhelming

@GreenPhlem is that not a really entitled point of view though? Not meaning to sound like a prick but you can't seriously expect all venues to cater to your specific family's needs? Every family has different requirements, what makes you think butlins should have made adjustments to suit your individual needs? It advertises what they offer so you obviously accepted that would be ok when you booked? Sorry, I just think you're coming across as really entitled and small minded?

If you want them to consider being more ND friendly, then contact them and suggest it.

Butlins is noisy. I see non neurodiverse children struggling with the noise levels so I agree they could adjust that. I take my loops to block out the noise.

the pool can be bonkers. Could you go term time when it’s quieter or is that not an option?

Not disputing your experience OP, but my bestie and her autistic child love Butlins. Why is that important? Well because if you've met one autistic child, you've met one autistic child.
I think your points are valid. Can you send what you've written here in an email to them?

Hmmm. Is there really such a thing as "autism-friendly" in such a broad sense? I mean, autistic people and autistic kids of different ages will struggle with different things.

I think Butlins would be unwise to start billing things as "autism-friendly," as inevitably it will be wrong for some autistic people, and then they will get complaints about that from families who have booked for that reason and now feel disappointed.

Agree with PP that something like Centerparc (though pricy!) might be better, if you need somewhere with more quiet and space.

I don't think it is too much to ask that at least one of the shows a day is for kids with sen. I also think one or two slots for swimming should be quieter sessions.

However the onus was on you to research before you thrust your grandchild into a situation she couldn't cope with. Just because butlins is catered for families doesn't mean it would be suitable for her. The noise for instance would be a given. Some of the issues you experienced were due to their poor time management and you absolutely should leave feedback with regards to that, I'd also leave a review so other families with sen children csn consider whether that particular site is right for their family.

My sons is autistic and we’ve been to Butlins quite a few times over the years, it’s not particularly autism friendly at all but I don’t think any busy holiday places are so don’t think they are any different in that respect. Minehead had an autism friendly section of the arcade last year but that’s all I’ve ever seen. Mine didn’t manage the shows at all, wouldn’t even go in until he was about 7 or 8 now he’s a teenager and will happily sit through some shows. We used to mainly go to the play area outside the pub when he was little and he also liked the little fair when thst was open.

Did they advertise having any of those things when you booked? If they didn't then I can't really see why you'd assume they did.

I'd have thought places like Butlins would always be busy and noisy as it's the sort of place that caters for small children.

I'm also not sure having a child who's too tall for a toddler section in the toddler section of a soft play would be fair to the toddlers, as there's more potential for them to be hurt.

I'm sorry that your granddaughter struggled with the environment, but it's really on whoever chose it.

It is impossible to make somewhere meet the needs of everyone. Ds is autistic and I would never have taken him somewhere like Butlins because I knew he wouldn’t cope.

It’s hard, especially when they are young but you need to find what works for your child. You can ask for some reasonable adjustments along the way but you can’t expect whole venues to change their model for one child.

I'm not surprised sadly. Cheap and cheerful if that is the right description is likely to mean that there is no thought for some potential holidaymakers.

Sorry, but yabu taking her to a Butlins. No-one ever has reported a quiet time at such a place!
Did you not do some reseach before you booked? If waiting is an issue for your GD, why book a holiday where activity slots (such as swimming) are timed? You must know that such things will inevitably over-run.
It is lovely that you take your GD on holiday, just fine somewhere morexsuited for her needs. The entire Butlins ship cannot turn everything around for a small per centage of the population