To be suprised at Butlins and their lack of neurodiverse awareness?

I think you need a holiday cottage / lodge somewhere quiet. We've stayed at a few different family friendly ones in the UK - they often have farm animals you can feed or pet, playgrounds, indoor pools (which often you have to book for your family so you get the pool to yourself), even soft plays. Some of them have some activities which may be ok for your child - we did one where there was giant bubble making outside. That might be ok as long as the other children's excitement doesn't cause an issue?

I'm not neuro diverse but would not want to go on holiday to Butlins because I know I'd hate the noise, chaos and crowds. But I'd cope if I was there. I imagine for some autistic people it would be absolutely unbearable whereas for me it's just unpleasant. Do holidays that work for your family OP and not what everyone else does.

when DS was little smaller haven sites worked well for us. We never used the entertainment side (other than the odd half hour at the arcades during quiet times) but there was enough on site if we had to camp in the caravan for a day we could easily get to the shops etc.

now he is older we stick to either a night or two in a hotel for a venue he really wants to visit or every other year a cruise as they work well for him.

but what works for him would be hell for someone else!

@GreenPhlem you expected everything, at an establishment serving 1000s of people, to revolve around you.

But that’s like saying you expect an adult only hotel to allow children in because some adults have children.
There are far better places to go on holiday with children who have additional needs. I would never choose to go to a Butlins type place for a holiday because I can’t stand noise, crowds, rowdy entertainment etc.

@GreenPhlem yes you are being u reasonable. As far as I remember all these issues are made clear on the Butlins website.

If somewhere doesn’t say it has autism screenings why ever would you think it does?
Of course Butlins is horrendously busy and loud with long queues. I suggest you try in term time (which you could easily have done since the child is only 4)

While it is lovely of you to take your grand daughter away, you chose Butlins they are known for being busy, loud etc. A larger child in the toddler area could easily mistakenly hurt a baby or toddler. It's not about reasonable adjustments it's common sense a 10 year old should not be playing in a toddler area. The swimming bit sounds like hard work but the shows are design to cater for as large an audience as possible. There re other places that may be more suited to kids with SI needs.......Butlins is not it.

Mention what, exactly? As others have noted, ND, etc is a broad church, so whar is good for your GD is not necessarily ok for others
Just a knee-jerk reaction

I actually do see your point about it being surprising that there is a lack of ND consideration at these resorts as they are primarily aimed at children. However, this is definitely something I would have looked into before booking.

But for other neurodiverse families it may be perfect. That’s the thing with neurodiversity everyone is so different. Ds and DN are both autistic but their needs and what they enjoy are polar opposites.

Have a look at places like Center Parcs and other such forest holidays if that’s what she likes. I last went to Center Parcs about 10 years ago but seem to remember it being quite calm, big open spaces, not overly crowded etc.

We’ve been to Butlins Bognor Regis about 6 times and it would be hell for anyone affected by noise, crowds, waiting in lines etc. A staff member once told us that at peak times they can have around 5000 people on site, so can you imagine trying to find the space and time in their schedule for autism friendly activities, soft play sessions, and movies/theatre shows? It’s just not possible.

Butlins is not the place for the majority of children with autism . I say that as a parent, who has a child with autism and has been to Butlins numerous times.

YABU to lay the blame at Butlins door . I am curious as to why you would take your DGD to a place that you know will cause her undue stress, which is is totally unfair on her.

Why would they? Surely the onus is on those with members of their family who are ND to do the research?

I honestly just can't understand how you can think any of this is Butlins fault?

Butlins is always going to horrendous in the holidays. My dc are NT but I always go in trm time and take them out of school.

Maybe try a haven , they're a bit more civilised. But still, go in term time while you can!

I’m a parent of an autistic child. I sympathise that it’s difficult.

You are completely unreasonable to expect them to bend the soft play rules - it’s a safety (and probably insurance) issue. She’s too big and could inadvertently hurt a smaller child.

Expecting a quiet swimming changing room at Butlins at half term is just not realistic. I have been known to use the disabled facilities for DS, but often that’s no quieter. It’s just part and parcel of the activity - the pool will be loud too. I don’t see what they did wrong - the timing was never going to be to the minute.

Autism friendly shows are a nice thought but unless they actually advertised having these again I think you’re unreasonable expecting it.

Basically Butlins isn’t a sensible place to take your granddaughter and I don’t think they can make the adjustments she’d need - there’s absolutely loads of other options, I hope you find somewhere you all enjoy next time.

Which resort did you try? The three are not the same, despite having similar facilities. We did Bognor once and will probably never go again, but we go to Minehead every year and love it.

I know you say you'll never go back, but if you can manage a term time break rather than a half term break, I highly recommend it. The difference is night and day - we had to do half term breaks for a bit while I was teaching and it is intensely busy in comparison to term time breaks where everything feels a bit calmer, a bit less frantic. Going Monday to Friday is also a bit less hectic (and usually cheaper) than a weekend, if you can.

Avoid the enclosed spaces like Reds and Centre Stage, they get busy and loud and dark quickly. The Skyline is open and calmer (this is on a term time break).

The earlier in the day you can go to entertainment sessions, the quieter they'll be. People do all their swimming and activities in the day and then their entertainment at night.

Term time swimming at Minehead is usually free flow, and they advertise the quieter time as after 3pm but we've always found it's usually around lunchtime.

I hope some of this is useful if you do decide to try again.

I have two with asd.

1. Expecting a neurodiverse showing every day is unrealistic. Most big cinema complexes manage one a week or even a month max of something very popular only.
2. Soft play. If she is three she obviously needed to be in with the toddlers unless she is over the correct age. You need to check out the rules before you go.
3. Swimming and queuing. This is one area where they could abd should be helping. In future you need to ask to speak to someone when you arrive and explain or do it in advance via email. Sometimes people will help and allow you to go straight in or will let you arrive a bit later after the rush.

Ultimately taking a child with asd out is hard. You need to investigate everything before you go. You need to weigh up whether it is suitable and what adjustments the venue will make if you ask in advance. I am sympathetic but I think if you go just expecting the autism friendly experience you will be disappointed.

Part of the pool has been broken at both Skegness and minehead so has reduced capacity so they introduced booking sessions

No where is obliged to be autism aware for goodness sake and certainly not an activity (going to Butlins) where its very noisy, busy, in your face, fast paced etc

im still going to mention it in the reviews though.

Why mention it in the review. You've admitted you didn't plan or research or consider your granddaughters needs but you still feel it's Butlins fault?

Remember no matter the child, for an adult places like butlins are always hell on earth!

Butlins isn't really suitable for children who don't like enforced noise and fun. (We would never in a million years do it).
You need somewhere calmer like a forest holiday park.

In my experience “autism friendly” in a lot of cases is just a marketing ploy, where there is a time of the day that is particularly quiet or a place tends to get no customers like 9am on a Sunday morning for example, they promote as autism friendly, perhaps turn the music down or off and get customers in when they would otherwise have no customers. Butlins is a holiday place so busy all the time and doesn’t have these quiet periods they need to fill.

of course there are some places thst gave genuine autism friendly sessions but they are few and far between