To be suprised at Butlins and their lack of neurodiverse awareness?

The head at my sons mainstream told me this mainstream schools are busy noisy places and if a child can’t cope with that they shouldn’t be in one. The issue with schools is though you don’t get a choice in sending a child to school unless you home Ed and people shouldn’t be forced into that.

Laughable really. Kids disco, family swimming and soft play... Really they're never going to be suitable for your granddaughter based on what you've said. Just seems ridiculous to think that they would be good options I less they had specific specified there would be quieter, calmer sessions taking place.

oh dear OP, I think you are suffering from unrealistic expectations, and so inevitable disappointment.

Three seems quite young anyway for some of the activities you envisaged ‘kids disco at 6 pm’ .wouldn’t she be a bit tired by then? Is a disco really the best choice for a child with autism, punctual or not? Does she swim a lot in her day to day life?

you say she is small and timid and obviously dislikes loud noises and unexpected ( dis regulating) circumstances . Perhaps it would be better ongoing to think of spending time with her doing things that she will enjoy and which suit her; I still treasure the memories of time spent making cakes ( ha ha, lots of flour on the table) and drawing and painting with my grandmother in her home. That would be much nicer for you both.

Sadly I think you picked the wrong sort of resort without doing research prior.

Butlins likely do not have a big enough customer base requiring autism-friendly shows in order to make it cost effective that they are put on. It’s unreasonable to compare it to a cinema whose customer base is everyone who lives near it enough to travel there.

Butlins doesn’t exist to provide people with holidays and entertainment. It’s a business and it exists to make its owners money.

But it's not a lack of ND awareness, it's that they cater specifically for people who enjoy loud music, discos, a bit of chaos. I used to do care work and sometimes supported groups of adults with learning disabilities and autism to Butlins, the Mencap disco nights and similar trips and holidays, they absolutely loved it. Obviously the people who didn't would stay at home, but you can't say a disco with music and flashing lights isn't ND friendly because for some ND people that's their dream activity. You just have to select the right place for your families needs. Butlins makes it easy because they're really clear in what they offer.

As a primary school SENCO this is something we talk about a lot in our authority SENCO meetings.

We will move heaven and earth to make the adjustments necessary to allow children with all sorts of needs to thrive in school.

But, at some point, parents and their ND children will come up against the fact that the world doesn’t make ‘reasonable adjustments’ trying to find a balance between allowing a child to thrive at school and prepare them for the real world is a very difficult thing to do.

As is putting in place appropriate consequences for ND children, whilst we understand that behaviour is often communication that won’t mean a child is exempt from the law as an adult.

Back to the thread, and please excuse my tangent, OP you needed to do more research, maybe a quieter caravan park without entertainment might be a better choice next time.

They don’t do the b line passes anymore, it’s vip passes and they get you in earlier for the shows but not for swimming. Swimming was horrendous when we went to minehead last year as they’d introduced timed sessions rather than it being freeflow so the queues for each sessions were huge

I don't know why on earth you would take an autistic 3 year old to Butlins of all places.

I'm autistic and I wouldn't go near the place.

You need a forest lodge or something much smaller. Some still have pools.

And yes, I agree it's awful that a company like Butlins will take money from eg Family fund customers and still not actually make much provision for additional needs.

I think you can get one at Bognor only but it’s just for the swimming not the shows, nothing at minehead or Skegness. We buy the vip wristbands as that is a seperate queue that goes in first so we can avoid the long queue

I agree with you.
I took my kids to Butlins at 3 and 6 - both are autistic but both very different. We booked the B line passes but they were £20 each and still involved like half an hour waiting for the shows. Both kids liked some things and found some (different) things overwhelming.
We haven't been back since and have preferred Haven, as no point paying so much when you can't use half of it.

Most people are not neurodiverse do the chances of adjustments bring made are slim. Butlins would not be able to control noise etc. I would not expect such a place to be neutodiverse friendly. There are so many variables they will have no control over. Poor time keeping inexcusable though

It sounds like the exact type of holiday that would be completely unsuitable for your GD’s needs. There ARE different types of holiday, it doesn’t have to be a holiday camp. Hopefully you’d be driving there? Next time try a quiet cottage or caravan near a beach, with day trips to local places like the zoo or a steam railway. Or maybe one on a farm that has animals she can go and look at. You can take her to a quiet beach for as long as she likes, looking in rock pools, building sandcastles etc. no need to be by crowds and watching Punch and Judy etc

She just needs something a bit less frantic than Butlins.

Sorry to had a bad experience.

However, I agree with the others that you should have done your research more, and checked the events were suitable for you, rather than assuming.

I mean this kindly but from reading your post I think you need to adjust your expectations of what holidays with your grandchild are going to look like as she is ND. I completely understand wanting to go on Butlins type breaks and you must have been looking forward to it, but use this experience as an opportunity to really think about what your grandchild would want from a holiday and adjust your plans accordingly. We all do that with our children, whether ND or not. It might be around planning for very picky eaters or allergies, kids that can’t cope with noise/heat, kids that would hate certain types of activities. Even if you had an idea in your mind’s eye of holidays with your grandchild when they were first born, you know now that they cannot cope with certain situations, so you need to plan around that, not just when you are already on holiday but when it comes to planning the holiday itself and thinking about where you will go.

How can you be annoyed that they didn't provide something that you yourself admit they never offered? I get that you'd be annoyed if you booked because they'd promised autism friendly activities that didn't materialise, but that's not at all what happened here.

Butlins at half term is not for the faint hearted! There's no chance I'd be able to cope with it. Next time, look for a small caravan park with a quiet swimming pool, and some nice big outdoor space (beach, woods etc) to explore.

I don't see the format you are suggesting as working. Loud everywhere and in the middle an accessible show. Then the children walk back into a very loud and sensory overload environment again.

What I have seen in other resorts internationally is specific weeks which are targeted as accessible so the whole environment and the cohort are conscious of sensory needs.

That would make much more sense for them and the children.

I'm pretty sure you can get a fast track pass for disabilities at Butlins. I have seen children with lanyards skip ahead at the shows and the fairground when I've been. Did you look into this?
Also perhaps a sunflower lanyard would have been a good idea at the soft play for example, I know you shouldn't have to draw attention to your granddaughters autism but sometimes it's easier than explaining, the staff maybe would have been more sensitive.
As for the shows, I think a lot of the day time character shows would be autism friendly, we went to a Peppa pig one last time which was very mild, minimum queue etc.
Usually if a show is going to have big noises/flashing lights it will say before hand.

I think if you had planned better you may have had a much different experience.

“Soft Play … she loves soft play at home but then she isn’t forced into the big kids areas.”

Which means that softplay is no longer acccessible for the correct age and height group.

So they promised it when you booked?, knowing you needed it you would have checked before booking

the soft play will be risk assessed to that hight limit. They can't just ignore that for people who want to go in there.

I think sometimes you have to seperate how you feel from how they feel and accept it’s not the same.

I used to feel upset when I’d see other little kids doing things like enjoying the shows, soft play etc and feel like my son was missing out but the reality was he wasn’t actually bothered about doing those things and it was more my feelings about him missing out than him being bothered at all.

That reminds me one thing he did love at Butlins Skegness, there is an area near the beach with big items, like a massive bucket snd spade, drinks cooler etc. we spent many an evening playing there when others were in the shows and he loved it

And having some acceptance.
Honestly op look abroad next time we just got back and it was fab experience.

Sadly Butlins is a shit hole we had the misfortune of booking there two years ago we literally left within 5 mins place was a cesspit.

Op I get it my DS is autistic and heaven forbid some insensitive twat post before thinking about the struggles those of us have to deal with on a daily basis it's not about getting everything given to us it's about understanding and hav