To be suprised at Butlins and their lack of neurodiverse awareness?

If you want this kind of holiday I can recommend some of the smaller Haven or Parkdean sites. We've been to one in Wales and one in Cornwall that my autistic kids have loved.

It's also easier if you can go outside of the main school holidays if possible. My DS's school have all their inset days in the same week, so we always go away that weeks as it's quieter (and cheaper!).

I have an autistic child and honestly I’m with others. This was a mad place to a child too. There’s no way they can ever adapt to an individual child’s needs.

I agree with this and find a lot of companies/venues use it as a way to try and wriggle out of their obligations in relation to equality - complain and you'll get told "well we do have an autism friendly hour/session you could have used and then this wouldn't have been an issue...". It's just a way of shunting us autistics out of sight so we don't upset the normies.

Op I understand your viewpoint, it is annoying that more holiday camps/resorts don’t cater to neurodiverse kids. On the other hand, my daughter is autistic and very sensitive to sounds and busy places, so buttons/haven etc is somewhere I wouldn’t even consider taking her. I think it’s about knowing the child. My daughter is much happier in a quiet campsite due to her needs. It works for me!

Whilst I understand some of your points, I think you are also being unreasonable. They didn't allow her in the soft play you wanted, to cater to other younger children, who would not have understood her needs. A disco is never going to be quiet, although the last start was understandably frustrating. I would going online groups who would be able to advise of places that may suit the kind of holiday you're looking for, as I'm sure there are others that have made similar 'mistakes'

Did you raise it with any staff at the time? I take my ND children to Butlins and I find that they're really keen to make adjustments where they can if you just ask.

As an example, they let us check into our room early at no extra cost as DC needed a quiet space after travelling so it was ready for us for 12pm. On leaving day we were allowed late checkout. We were allocated a guaranteed ground floor for no charge as it was necessary for DC's needs. We had a dining package and DC will only eat at a wall-side table not in the middle of the floor, we made an arrangement with the dining staff where we told them in advance what time we'd be arriving for breakfast/dinner and they would make sure there was a wall table reserved for them. We had VIP passes so we didn't have to queue for shows, Butlins refunded the cost of my pass and DH's pass on the grounds that we are carers. The passes allow early access into the venues so we were able to choose the most suitable seats for DC. When DC lost their ear defenders, Butlins staff helped look for them including searching inside areas like the shop and the soft play even though they were closed for the night. When they didn't turn up anywhere, next morning I had a member of staff knocking at our apartment with a brand new pair. Staff were able to tell us when would usually be the quietest times to visit the funfair or the arcade or bowling too.

We avoid the pool as it's a hellscape even when it's fully operational and the changing rooms are disgusting. We choose activities our DC will like such as crafts, painting, sports classes, balance bikes, go-karts, pool/snooker, silent cinema and silent disco (silent disco is hilarious because they won't wear the headphones and instead just copy everyone else's dance moves, all in total silence). We go out into the town to the aquarium and the seal sanctuary. We go to Skypark first thing on the morning when it's quieter. We go the funfair just before it closes so it's quieter. We use the arcade near the funfair because it's got more natural light, is more spaced out and is quieter than the one inside the tent.

The soft play is segregated by age because it's a staffed soft play, for the most part adults aren't allowed in the play frame. I've always found that the staff are really proactive in managing behaviour and won't let children rampage too much. If you'd explained that your GD needed support on the older child area then they'd have let you on as they've let me on with DC before.

Sorry, I do feel bad about the responses here but I do think some checks beforehand would have prepared you for the trip. I’m glad to hear your granddaughter had a good time despite the setbacks.
If she mostly enjoyed playing in the cabin and time with you guys then maybe just a self catering holiday somewhere lovely looking would be better next time. Depending on location you’ve got Cornwall, Devon, Dorset, Norfolk, Yorkshire, etc. Does she like the sea? Somewhere with a beach where a bucket and spade is all you need.
also that way you aren’t rushing to keep to a silly preset schedule that butlins obviously don’t intend to keep to themselves!

Sorry, I do feel bad about the responses here but I do think some checks beforehand would have prepared you for the trip. I’m glad to hear your granddaughter had a good time despite the setbacks.
If she mostly enjoyed playing in the cabin and time with you guys then maybe just a self catering holiday somewhere lovely looking would be better next time. Depending on location you’ve got Cornwall, Devon, Dorset, Norfolk, Yorkshire, etc. Does she like the sea? Somewhere with a beach where a bucket and spade is all you need.
also that way you aren’t rushing to keep to a silly preset schedule that butlins obviously don’t intend to keep to themselves!

Sadly I have voted YABU - and that is from the Mum of another ND little girl. There are lots of
places we avoid - Butlins is at the top of that list, but also add bowling alleys, funfairs, crowded trains, the underground. These environments just aren’t suitable. You knew this beforehand. Try hoseasons, camping or if budget allows Centre Parcs next time .

Ok thanks we are going to minehead in July just before school hols so will have to find out about for my son, swimming was a nightmare last year as they had timed sessions you had to book so the queue to get in was massive, and you couldn’t wait until it had gone down as then you wouldn’t get in and would have to wait for next session

A country weekend in the Cotswolds with spring baby animals and calm and peaceful surroundings would have been far better for your toddler. Butlins is hell in earth for NT children - for many it is too much. Next time, try somewhere serene and calming by the sea or in the country.

Yes at Bognor you can use them for other things too , but just swimming at minehead and Skegness.

Is that at all the Butlins? I thought it was only at Bognor Regis, I’ve not seen them used at other butlins

This is a bit of an odd thing to say. Neurodiversity doesn’t disappear at 18. Why does it make a difference if it’s primarily aimed at children?

For anyone reading this you ask guest services for a band so you don't queue for swimming if your child can't queue due to a disability.

It's not cheap

We just stayed at a Butlins. All of us, adults and children, are autistic and fans of quiet. We were very impressed with their acceptance of neurodivergence.

No one looked at my mute child oddly, no one had a problem with them stimming visibly, with their extremely BD clothing choices, with being barefoot on the fairground rides, with their food issues - I've genuinely never encountered such accepting staff anywhere.

But I didn't force them into environments that are clearly not to their choice. Would you take a vegan into a steak restaurant and complain about the smell of meat? It's designed to be loud and busy, that's their whole atmosphere and it is intentional, it appeals to their target market. That's why the music is ear splitting at breakfast time, and why they crowd everyone into a small space instead of spreading you out: they're creating a specific atmosphere that their target market likes. If that's not you then it's not!

Ffs. It's the equivalent of complaining a library isn't loud enough. Read reviews before you choose to go.

I think most people would associate butlins with crowds & noise to be honest.

I think it is a lesson learned for you! It can be hard for parents/carers with ND children - especially if queueing/ loud noises etc are a trigger and on holiday. But sometimes the onus is on you to appease/ minimise triggers, yes society / companies can do their parts.

But 11 o clock is one of the busiest swim times - first session or late afternoon would be better! Also changing rooms are loud - so go slightly later than start time.

Things won't run to time so have snacks, fidgets, iPad etc to help with the waiting!

Soft play if busy it's not safe for them to be in the small soft play with babies.

They probably know….

Well yeah, but I imagine that there are other people - such as grandparents in OP's situation who are out of the little kid stage - who just underestimate how "in your face" it can be.

I think this is a very sensible approach, OP. It's understanding and appreciating who your GD is and what her interests are. And consider how lucky you are in that you can completely give the soft play and crowded pools a miss and enjoy some lovely natural settings with her.

Surely it's on you to research it before booking and paying?

You can't just expect things to be done the way you wish for it to be done!

I think an honest review saying "not suitable for those who don't enjoy crowds / noise" is fair. That's the point of a review, surely.

Probably only useful for someone living under a rock who's never heard of a Butlins 🤣

Comparing Butlins with a cinema is like comparing apples and pears. There are cinemas in every town and they have some showings of films where the environment is adapted for people who struggle with noise and high energy.

Butlins is completely different and its premise is high energy and noise.