To be suprised at Butlins and their lack of neurodiverse awareness?

would never take my autistic child there - we love centre Parcs as can walk in woods - quieter indoor areas and staff have great awareness.

Most cinemas do this once a months, not daily? I wish they did. Our local cinema does it once a month and often in a weekday which is no good for school age children.

I think it’s more like no one has faith in Butlins to do anything autism friendly. Of course places should and a lot do but when I hear the word ‘Butlins’ I think noise and sensory overload 😬. I am ND myself and there’s just some places I avoid at all costs, Butlins being one of them as well as theme parks.

'What I expect them to do is to put on at least one show a day that is neurodiverse friendly … the cinemas manage it. Less flashing lights, volume turned down etc'

Entitled nonsense.

Hi OP,

I'm ND with ND child. It's a whole different ballgame from the 1970s upbringing.

For ND kids, a walk in a quiet place is as much excitement as they need. No holiday, no cottage. Just a walk and some peace.

It's different, but you will get used to it.

You can probably get away with a holiday cottage in a NT property just now but there may come a time when going a way is too much and she just wants to stay home, especially if she is in school. My DC is now home school and still doesn't want to go on holiday.

The ableism on this thread is disgustingly.

what’s next? Let’s not bother with wheelchair ramps because those kids also should go somewhere else?

I agree OP - so many places offer SEN friendly adaptations now. It’s really not that difficult.

YABU for going to Butlins and expecting any sort of quiet.

As someone who has/is raising 2 autistic dc we avoid places like this like the plague 😬. They are not autism friendly, they are a major sensory overload full of noise, people, lights etc…

I don’t think you can really expect them to have autism friendly activities, although it would be lovely if they did. We tend to go to smaller holiday sights and avoid any kind of entertainment (except Bingo because dd loves bingo 🤣). We have been to some of the smaller park Dean and haven type places and asked for a quiet caravan away from entertainment but we never go in school holidays because it’s just too busy and noisy. We only really use these places as a base and find activities elsewhere that are more autism friendly, we stay away from entertainment and often swimming pools unless we get up early and go for a swim.

At soft play I’d be quite upset if a larger child was running around likely to hurt my child (as you were with the older kids area) we went to one recently where an obviously over 4 child was with their sibling and bombing into the ball pit. A small child would not be able to do this. I had to quietly as a manager to move the kid to the over 3s area or my barely-walking 1 year old would get hurt. They can make exceptions, yes, but how is it fair to all the small children? In this case it is about size/ age.

I do agree it would be a good idea for them to put on ‘quiet sessions’ or ‘bigger kids in the toddler area sessions’ but this would be an extra, and you should definitely research before going. Not everywhere is going to be accessible, but lots of places are! Do some research before travelling (as I would with my toddler… not everywhere is suitable for her even without ND)

I really feel for you @GreenPhlem our family life has been restricted loads due to having to cater for our autistic son (we have 2 NT girls too). He was only diagnosed aged 8 but for years before that we knew that were certain things we couldn’t do because he just couldn’t cope with it.
I am surprised a big outfit like Butlins hasn’t got any provision for autistic kids, but I do feel lots of companies are now understanding more about how to make simple adaptations to be more inclusive. Doesn’t help you now but hopefully will in the future.

But the supermarkets are already open at that time it’s quiet anyway, they don’t have to pay extra staff to specifically open to have a suitable time for autism. They never have their autism hour at 10am on a Saturday morning or 6pm on a Friday night for example. Same with soft play, the autism session is usually 9am on a Sunday morning or 3.30 after school when they would be quiet anyway. As Butlins is a holiday place and has different people every week they are all using the facilities as part of their holiday so although there are slightly quieter times there is never a naturally very quiet time that you could designate as an autism session

@Chocolateorange22

You've hit the nail on the head with your point of view,
even extremely busy Supermarkets can offer to the customers,
earlier mornings quieter browsing shopping hours during the week and soft plays family venues can offer sensory spaces rooms,

then surely somewhere like Butlins could adapt to be more inclusive ect,

It just needs Butlins to have the initiative and the creative imagination and the dynamic and doing some research on this topic to implement being more inclusive to neurodivistity friendly etc...

You're crazy. I have a ND child but I plan our holidays accordingly. Swimming and nature, downtime in comfortable accommodation, and figure out myself what our trip is going to look like. I wouldn't dream of taking her to Butlins or to a busy shopping mall or busy town (unless we could keep it short, nipping in and out quickly).

It's not up to Butlins to provide a holiday that suits your child. Butlins provide what they see fit that appeals to most.

I kind of see it both ways. You want your daughter to be able to experience the same activities that other children do. However you have taken her somewhere that isn't most appropriate for her. I'd imagine a caravan somewhere with lots of quiet outdoor space would have been better.

I do think that Butlins could be missing more of a money spinner here in fairness. Opening the pool earlier for a ND swim, or a separate evening show before the other evening entertainment that is quieter no flashing lights etc. They would easily market these things and would probably encourage many more bookings as a result.

If supermarkets can offer a quieter hour before opening and soft play can offer sensory rooms then I think Butlins might be missing a trick here.

I'm not ND and neither are my children but I think families should be able to experience things in a way to be inclusive.

I was also at Butlins last week. I’m not ND but it was too much noise in general even for me so no idea why you’d take a child you know will struggle with that. Even they did a ND friendly show, what about the rest of the time?

Besides, I found Butlins to be a filthy, stinking shit hole full of people with the desire to be plastered all day long and leaving their kids to please themselves.

@Kentuckycriedfrickin I love your truly silent disco, that's adorable!

You're not being unreasonable for wanting to give your granddaughter a lovely time - but I'd advice research, research and more research next time.

I'm a Mum of two autistic children and you just can't take anything for granted or assume anything...you need to be really prepared. Especially when going on holiday.

Prior to booking I'd advise ringing up and talking to companies about what their accessibility looks like - if they're vague or non committal then you know it's not the place for you.

As hard as it can be, you have to let go of the idea of what a holiday might look like for other families...and embrace the kind of holiday your granddaughter would really enjoy.

I'm sorry it sounds like a hard few days - and hope that next time it goes much better!

When going anywhere new I always look on the venues website for the accessibility policy. Makes it clear how welcoming the place is and if I have other questions I can then get in touch.

you find when your a carer for someone with a disability everything takes more planning (and even then you often forget something!) it becomes like a military operation at times for us!

With this update I don't think you are unreasonable. The funfair and swimming had reduced capacity compared to what you expected when booking. And the events that did run ran late. I would also be disappointed in the same circumstances.

Three is also a slightly awkward age as they can be too big for the toddler section but not quite robust enough for the older children section. If all the older children are expected to go in together then at busier times I think it would be reasonable if they had sections of each hour for under 7s and sections for 8 plus.

The main thing though is that your granddaughter enjoyed it and you will both have some lovely memories to look back on.

You sound like a great GM OP!

You need to focus on the fact your GD had a great time - it might not have been the same great time you'd have wanted as a child but it worked for her. It might not have been the ideal place with hindsight and all sounds a bit haphazard and poorly organised - but that's often then case as huge places with lots going on.

Next time take her to a chalet with woods and a beach and she'll be in heaven. Plus contact anywhere you might visit in advance so you don't have to queue etc. Think of the things she likes and work for her - does she like farm animals, pootling along in a little train, climbing on play equipment etc

I'd suggest a farm stay holiday with animals to feed etc would be calmer than Butlins.

Did you contact them in advance of booking to discuss your requirements? Does she have a DLA letter as evidence for reasonable adjustments? JAM card or other card to show she’s autistic to avoid queuing?

If not do all of this in future, if travelling by plane you need to contact disability services. To avail of a free carer ticket you need to contact booking office in advance and often submit paperwork (think box office for theatre/cinema/Merlin attractions)

It’s crap if they were running behind for things and didn’t have any autism friendly shows. The latter would have been apparent if you’d rung in advance. Regards swimming and softplay, you should have been able to skip the queue and access a disabled change area, and to have had her stay in the younger softplay under supervision, provided you have evidence.

Chalk it up to experience, sorry it was disappointing, taking them away/out can feel like a military endeavour!! Hope the next time is more successful.

Other poster are right about the challenge of accepting that your child/ grandchild is different and loving them for being the incredible unique individual that they are.

What one did you go to, we never had to book swimming at Bognor last October

On their website they have a specific page where they ask you to contact them before booking to discuss any special requirements :

www.butlins.com/help-contact/disability-requirements

Did you call and explain what specific things you were looking for on your holiday?