How often do you see your parents/inlaws?

I think in many cases it's dependent on age of parents and children

When my kids were little we saw the both a lot more that now....my parents helped with wrap around childcare and I would pop in most weekends as well. MIL would arrange to come round every couple of weeks.

No kids are older but so are parents. I pop in to see mine for 20mins-1hr at a time to check on them. MIL we see less frequently because she is further away and we can't just pop in without making an arrangement.

My parents are dead - PILs are elderly- we've moved to be within an hour of them (plane ride before). We see them about every two weeks - this is likely to increase as they get older

The in-laws live about 15/20 mins away and we see them once in 6 weeks-ish. They have zero interest in us and spend the whole time talking about DPs sister and her family so we don’t visit much. They very rarely come to see us.
My DPs live 3 hours away and we see them about a weekend per month, staying with each other for the weekend. They are so supportive of us and will bend over backwards to help us, which makes us do our best to return the favour. Even my DP prefers spending time with my parents over his own. We hope my parents will move near us eventually and we’d definitely see them weekly, for dinner or visits but wouldn’t make a rigid plan to us all having our own lives and commitments.

Would never commit to a schedule - we all have busy lives. A few times a year I guess.

Mil and my mum live 5 minutes away, probably see them on average once a week but there are no set plans. I drop into either of their houses if I’m passing, sometimes will go to a supermarket near them and see some nice flowers I think they’ll like and stop by with them.
both sets come round for lunch or dinner once every couple of months. Mil stops by here if she’s passing and we often meet her and the rest of the family for a Sunday walk but again not set in stone.
i saw my mum on Friday for a few hours and we message each other most days.
My dad I see for a few hours every few months. He lives further away but I like to keep him at arms length.

I see my dad once a week. He lives about 40 miles away but I happily do the round trip so I can sort out his meds, do a few jobs and spend some time with him. We also talk on the phone at least once a day.

He's a brilliant dad. Even though he's got multiple health issues and restricted mobility, he's 100% there for me emotionally if I need him. I had a similar relationship with my mum but when she died very suddenly, dad and I were sort of thrown together. We formed a really close bond in that time. I know I won't always have him and also that I'm very fortunate to have well-rounded, decent humans for parents.

With full time jobs and kids, after school and weekend activities and matches, and other family to also visit, committing to a full day every weekend is far too much.

I try to see family (who live 5 mins away) for a couple of hours every second week.

My DF lives 10 mins away…. I see him every couple of weeks on average. Often a quick coffee on my lunch break or taking him to an appointment.

MIL lives an hour away and we probably see her on average once a month. Sometimes more if there are birthdays etc.

I think every weekend would feel too much. Not because I wouldn’t want to see them but because there is never enough time to do everything we want/need already.

We don't commit to set days and times but see my mum at least every other day she lives 5 mins away and see my partners parents at least twice a week were all in contact over text most days several times a day. We have 3 sen children though and zero outside support except for our families my partner works a million hours so I can take on the hospital appointments and care needs.

I see my parents maybe 2x per month. They’re about 30 mins away and I invite them here 1x month for Sunday dinner with us. 1x month I take the kids over to see them. Sometimes we’ll arrange to meet up for a meal as well or there will be a larger family gathering we’ll be at together (large wider family - so weddings, funerals, birthday parties, christenings)

FIL (widowed) lives in another city 250 miles away. We have him to stay with us for long visits, he was here 6 weeks Xmas and new year, 3 weeks Easter, 3 weeks late summer. In between DH visits for an overnight. FIL is in process of buying a house down our road so that’s all about to change. He’s 90 and needs more assistance so we’ll be looking after him to a great extent.

My mum who lives 1min walk from me - maybe once a month because she just isn't interested and I'm not going to keep being disappointed when I try see her. So I wait for her to ask to see us.

MIL - 4 days. For around an hour on 2 of those days and 5 hours the other 2 days. I bloody love my MIL though, she is my best friend.

We see my in laws fortnightly on a Friday evening; we get a takeaway and catch up together. Always my MIL and her partner, sometimes my SIL and/or BIL. I used to resent it but now I quite like it and I do love how close the family is, both to each other as adults but also to our DC - I grew up over 150 miles away from both sets of grandparents so it's a very different experience to my youth, they actually all know each other.

When DM was alive I used to visit her every other Sunday, but she died ten years ago. DDad lives 90mins away - we see him maybe 5/6 times a year, and they have their grandchildren to stay a couple of times a year.

@DilemmaDelilah I understand how you feel, however my mother emigrated away from her widowed mother and called her once a week, visited once a year. That was her ‘adult child’ behaviour.

But her apparent expectation is that I visit weekly for as many hours as possible, when I am ready to leave she produces a list of chores to stop me leaving. The entire visit is made up of her complaining and being negative about experiences and people we know. She also expects calls and texts throughout the week. Again most responses are negative. She dislikes all my friends and her own friends.

Also, I have a brother and he has no such list of expectations. A call once a month would be fine from him.

Spending time with her brings me down mentally, she’s not mean to me and by her actions is a really good person. But the relentless negativity and expectation feels draining. I cannot be her only friend and her maid and all her entertainment.

I have also unfortunately taken on board that my son will do nowhere near as much as I do for his grandmother.

My parents leave 1.5 hours away. I see them 1-2 times a month depending on what is going on. Once every week would be far too much, I need my own space and I have my own life.

Once, sometimes twice, a month is enough for me and I like my in-laws.

My parents live 3 mins away. I see them a few times a week, sometimes for a day out but mostly just stopping by for a coffee, they help out with DS etc. as a family (ie with dp), probably once every couple of months we might go for dinner as he works a lot and I don’t want to dilute his time with DD. Actually it’s probably less than that. He sometimes sees them if they pop by to drop off something.

ETA I think a planned devoted day each weekend is a lot. I wouldn’t mind doing that with my parents but wouldn’t expect DP to.

My parents once a week or once a fortnight but never any longer than that.

DH's parents, once every 3/4 months. They don't live that far away but they are pretty useless and we don't have a close relationship. Sometimes it bothers me that they're quite rubbish but then I remember I don't need to see them much!

I hope there is a backstory, otherwise that's just mean

When DC were schoolage DPs sometimes used to help with transport to swimming/football clubs and class parties at weekends and then bring them back so we could eat together. Between DPs social lives and the DCs activities it was tricky to schedule family time otherwise. As the DC became teenagers and DPs became frail it turned into sunday lunch once every 2 or 3 weeks. Now DCs have flown the nest and DPs are all passed away we have all time in the world and we do miss them all!

My dad is the nearest, we see him maybe once every 3-4 weeks for a proper catch up, with occasional drops ins in between, usually just involving me. My mum is much further away, about a 50 minute drive and she doesn't have a car, so we see her every 6-8 weeks.
DH's dad is also about a 50 minute drive. Him and his wife don't like me much, so I see them maybe three times a year, DH will sometimes go over on his own. DH's mum lives in Spain. We've not seen her for nearly three years as her husband won't come back over and we can't afford to go there when it isn't a holiday (live in an expat community with nothing to do, even the beach is absolutely miles away).

And conversely - now I have adult children - it would be nice to see them more. One lives around 5 hours away and comes to see us for a long weekend every 3 months or so. It's a long way so I do understand she can't do it very often. She doesn't have room for us to stay and accommodation close by would be around £600, which is why we rarely go there.
The other one lives 5 miles away. We only see her family when we arrange something or when we are doing something for her. She has a very busy life and any spare time is usually taken up with doing things for the children, but it does rankle. Neither of us is in good health, we are both in the last decade of our lives, or less (health reasons), we can't do as much for them now as we used to. Quite frankly I feel used - it would be lovely to be invited over there occasionally - even if to sit in the garden and chat. We can't host Christmas any more, but the alternative is to be on our own as we don't get invited there.
When you are complaining about having to spend time with parents/in laws, think about what they do for you (if they do) and what it would be like without them. Maybe (I know not always) it might make you appreciate them a little more.

Ours were just under and just over an hour away. We used to set aside a weekend each every month to see them. Sometimes it was just a day visit, sometimes the whole weekend. (No children at home).
Then my mother moved up to the same place as us and we used to see her once a week regularly, but also other times for events, appointments etc. I sometimes took her shopping, or to the theatre, or I would go over to help with something, and she was always invited to family lunch which was roughly monthly.
They are all dead now and we have our weekends to ourselves, which is nice, but I would rather they were still here, and I think we should have made more of an effort to see them more often. I miss them.

We have two little ones under five, who both have multiple activities like swimming (and often parties) at weekends. Factoring in our family time too (like a trip to the farm), there's no way we would have time for a full day at a weekend with either side. We try and see each lot for a couple of hours a fortnight.

I can't imagine spending a full day with either side.
Husband's side in passing most days for a few minutes.
My side probably once a week for an hour or so. They are hard work now and my mental health just can't manage it.

For me spending a whole day together every weekend is too much. In laws are miles away so hardly ever see them but my parents are nearby. I see them 2 or 3 times a week as we might call round or the kids go round theirs after school, but actually planning to get together and spend a day together, about once a month.