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Original poster

Would your husband…

415 replies

Sunflower8710 · 26/05/2024 23:55

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

OP posts:
usernother · 27/05/2024 15:58

I'd get it myself, I wouldn't ask my husband. We've got these big posts with lights at the top called 'street lights' where I live. This means I'd be able to see outside without the need of a torch or need a man to go to the end of our drive for me.

Sweden99 · 27/05/2024 15:54

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 15:44

Women are more than capable of doing icky jobs. I'm thinking of some of the poonamis I've dealt with.

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Yes. I am not stating otherwise. I would suggest that grocery shopping and childcare still tend to fall more on women and "icky" jobs on men.

midnights0 · 27/05/2024 15:54

My husband would get it if I asked him too

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 15:51

WalkingonWheels · 27/05/2024 15:20

My husband would have been to get it before I had finished my sentence.

Why?

Do you have issues that make you unable to perform such tasks?

peakygold · 27/05/2024 15:46

I'd sashay up the drive with the 12-bore cocked over my shoulder, just willing someone to try something on.

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 15:44

Sweden99 · 27/05/2024 12:42

I think the issue is more that it is an icky job and (as a man) I would expect to be called on to do icky jobs. My Dad never cleaned the toilet, but as Gen X, it has always been one of my jobs as an icky one.
That said, I can imagine if I was ordered out to get it in these circumstances, I confess I might be annoyed. A "sorry but I need you to do this for me" approach would be appreciated (sorry for my delicate male ego!).

Show quote history

Women are more than capable of doing icky jobs. I'm thinking of some of the poonamis I've dealt with.

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 15:39

WalkingonWheels · 27/05/2024 15:20

My husband would have been to get it before I had finished my sentence.

Is there a reason for that? I mean I'd go for my husband as he is disabled but if we were both fit and well we'd go ourselves if we made the mistake and we wanted the thing unless there was a particular reason eg years ago if I realised while breastfeeding then he'd probably go, if he was helping child with maths homework I'd go. Without a special reason I don't know why one of us would rush off to do it for the other.

Clarabell77 · 27/05/2024 15:23

I’d go myself but if I couldn’t or didn’t want to for some reason he would go and get it for me.

WalkingonWheels · 27/05/2024 15:20

My husband would have been to get it before I had finished my sentence.

Wreo · 27/05/2024 15:19

DH would go and get it if I asked, probably.

I wouldn't ask him to do it by himself unless I was ill - it was my mistake to throw it away! I would be more likely to ask him to help me (assuming he wasn't asleep) by holding the torch or something.

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 15:09

StormingNorman · 27/05/2024 15:07

But if you know it’s extreme why aren’t you doing anything to get your confidence and independence back?

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How do you know I’m not? I’m not sure I need to disclose any of this in order to answer a question by OP on an internet forum 🤣

StormingNorman · 27/05/2024 15:07

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 15:04

I haven’t said it’s not an extreme reaction though?

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But if you know it’s extreme why aren’t you doing anything to get your confidence and independence back?

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 15:04

Stripeysocks1981 · 27/05/2024 14:56

So have I, and likely most women in this thread. Being scared of being on your own driveway 20 feet from your open front door with your partner in the house is an extreme reaction to this though. I’m genuinely surprised that you don’t see this.

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I haven’t said it’s not an extreme reaction though?

Stripeysocks1981 · 27/05/2024 14:56

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 14:52

If you read my previous comments you’ll understand why I’m so “wet” 👍 I’ve been followed by men at night and so I feel unsafe in the dark and avoid going out on my own at night when possible. If I must then I will but I avoid it if I can. Hope this helps.

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So have I, and likely most women in this thread. Being scared of being on your own driveway 20 feet from your open front door with your partner in the house is an extreme reaction to this though. I’m genuinely surprised that you don’t see this.

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 14:52

Chocolateapot · 27/05/2024 14:26

I’m bemused why anyone would ask their partner unless they had mobility issues. Don’t be so wet - I thought women wanted equality 🙄

Show quote history

If you read my previous comments you’ll understand why I’m so “wet” 👍 I’ve been followed by men at night and so I feel unsafe in the dark and avoid going out on my own at night when possible. If I must then I will but I avoid it if I can. Hope this helps.

Chocolateapot · 27/05/2024 14:26

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 00:16

Mine would go and get it. I wouldn’t go and get it in the pitch black, too many creeps around. It’s obviously unlikely anything would happen but he wouldn’t expect me to go out there in the dark. I’m a bit bemused by posters saying they wouldn’t even ask their partner.

I’m bemused why anyone would ask their partner unless they had mobility issues. Don’t be so wet - I thought women wanted equality 🙄

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 27/05/2024 14:20

My husband would definitely be annoyed if I asked him to get it for me, but if I really felt I couldn't manage it, he'd get it for me.

However, I'd feel quite silly asking him to fetch something from the outdoor bins for me just because it was dark outside.

BirthdayRainbow · 27/05/2024 14:17

@Sunflower8710 obviously you think he should have gone and got it and he didn't or didn't without you asking/begging/crying.

What is the point to this question as this is not about an item thrown away in error?

ManchesterLu · 27/05/2024 14:14

Mine would probably get it for me, however if you put it in the bin, YOU should get it out. Why the heck should he, and not you?

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 27/05/2024 14:09

He’d ask me to get it I’m sure.

Sweden99 · 27/05/2024 14:04

MaryFuckingFerguson · 27/05/2024 13:50

My husband would do anything if I asked him. But I wouldn’t dream of asking him to retrieve something from the bin. I am more than capable of doing such a thing myself.

Are you afraid of the dark or are you feeble?

It is the sort of thing that I, as a man, would not find a strange request from a woman housemate or partner. It would annoy me if I was ask presumptuously rather than politely.
That said, when a partner or housemate does this sort of thing for themselves, I would not be aware of it.
Equally, many of your friends would not admit they rely on their man for such things.

MaryFuckingFerguson · 27/05/2024 13:50

My husband would do anything if I asked him. But I wouldn’t dream of asking him to retrieve something from the bin. I am more than capable of doing such a thing myself.

Are you afraid of the dark or are you feeble?

NonPlayerCharacter · 27/05/2024 13:47

Er...how long is this drive?

My husband would do it if I asked him but going to the end of the driveway in our well lit suburban street really isn't a risk that requires management. Do you live somewhere more remote with a much longer route to the bins?

Sweden99 · 27/05/2024 13:46

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 27/05/2024 13:35

He wasn't asking you to do anything. You wanted the thing and for some reason you seem to have expected him to go and get it. Why?! Why does the fact that it was midnight make any difference? Are you scared of the dark? Or does he have super night vision?

My impression is that MN has really changed over the last ten years or so.
Once, MN would have called the husband a monster.
Now, it has swung the other way. As a man, there are job I would expect to be mine, and a job like this is one of them.

PinkyFlamingo · 27/05/2024 13:44

Are you scared of the dark?