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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would your husband…

415 replies

Sunflower8710 · 26/05/2024 23:55

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

OP posts:
dazzlingdoll · 27/05/2024 18:14

No my husband wouldn't make me get it but you did make the mistake so take a bloody torch and get it

MrsMammy · 27/05/2024 18:11

Ladies, it would appear that so many women on here are extremely angry and upset by the fact we have gentlemen for husbands and they're at home with their useless lazy pigs 😂

Bellsandthistle · 27/05/2024 18:00

I’m more intrigued about what you accidentally put in the dustbin that you needed before bed? Doesn’t sound hygienic… 🤔

Pinkywoo · 27/05/2024 17:58

DH would probably get it, not because I'm scared of the dark or incapable, but because I'm a short arse who wouldn't be able to reach said item unless the bin was full and it was right on the top. As DH has arms like a gorilla he'd take one for the team!

TruthThatsHardAsSteel · 27/05/2024 17:20

My husband would go get it no problem.

huuskymam · 27/05/2024 17:16

My husband was a litter warden and works in waste management for over 30 years, he'd have no issue digging through a rubbish bag for me or the kids. He wouldn't dream of telling me to do it, no matter who was at fault.

TeabySea · 27/05/2024 17:09

Stompythedinosaur · 26/05/2024 23:58

My dp would probably get it if I asked him to, but I wouldn't ask him to unless I was sick or injured or something, if it had been my error to put it in there.

It's just as late and dark for him as it is me. If we were in an unsafe area, we'd just do without it until morning.

Yes, this.
I'd go to the bin myself if there was no physical reason I couldn't.

LoveStories · 27/05/2024 17:06

PadstowGirl · 27/05/2024 16:47

DH would go, even though I'm perfectly willing and able. He takes every opportunity to prove he's "manly" 🤣🤣

By retrieving something from a wheelie bin? That's an interesting take on masculinity. Binmen must be the manliest of all possible occupations, clearly, and make the SAS, Bear Grylls, lumberjacks and whoever look like wet ickle toddlers because bins aren't involved.

Daffodilsandbagels · 27/05/2024 16:56

MrsMammy · 27/05/2024 00:03

My husband would get it. He would worry I'd be murdered or something

Does your husband have an anxiety disorder? It sounds like it he should to go to his GP about this kind of disproportionate worry.

Disturbia81 · 27/05/2024 16:54

Can't stand women who won't do basic tasks. You put it in the bin, you get it

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 16:52

PadstowGirl · 27/05/2024 16:47

DH would go, even though I'm perfectly willing and able. He takes every opportunity to prove he's "manly" 🤣🤣

Rooting through a dustbin proves he's manly?

Sweden99 · 27/05/2024 16:50

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 16:17

So you occasionally get something from the bin and she does all the shopping and childcare. Great.

Please, stop making stuff up.

Boomer55 · 27/05/2024 16:50

You put it in the bin, so you get it out.🙄

PadstowGirl · 27/05/2024 16:47

DH would go, even though I'm perfectly willing and able. He takes every opportunity to prove he's "manly" 🤣🤣

CandiedPrincess · 27/05/2024 16:45

My husband would absolutely go and get it, but I wouldn't ask him to if it's something I had put there, I'd get off my butt and get it myself. Very unlikely the bogey man is going to jump out at that exact moment.

Tuwhituwhoo · 27/05/2024 16:44

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 16:42

My husband is also very kind, but I wouldn't need to ask him?

You ask him because he's kind?

If you're capable, why would you ask?

I wouldn’t necessarily ask - I’ve never been in this situation to be honest - but I can imagine I might ask if I was feeling very lazy.

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 16:42

Tuwhituwhoo · 27/05/2024 16:41

My husband would get it, but only because he is kind and not because he should do this. I’m equally capable really.

My husband is also very kind, but I wouldn't need to ask him?

You ask him because he's kind?

If you're capable, why would you ask?

Sillystrumpet · 27/05/2024 16:41

usernother · 27/05/2024 15:58

I'd get it myself, I wouldn't ask my husband. We've got these big posts with lights at the top called 'street lights' where I live. This means I'd be able to see outside without the need of a torch or need a man to go to the end of our drive for me.

We have no street lights, but we have security lights and I’ve a torch. If I said shit I put x in the bin, just going to get it, in all likely hood my husband would say want me to, I’d respond don’t be silly of course not.

But he does tend to do that, any heavy or hard work jobs he’s like leave it, I’ll do it. Which is sweet but so unnecessary and secretly quite annoying. I’m fit and able bodied and just as capable as him in most instances, if I need help or want him to do it I will ask.

for those saying their husbands would do it. What do you do when coming home in the dark , does he have to meet you and escort you to the house?

Tuwhituwhoo · 27/05/2024 16:41

My husband would get it, but only because he is kind and not because he should do this. I’m equally capable really.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 27/05/2024 16:40

I would hint wildly. Then when he went and got it I would thank him,profusely.

I would also tell him where he left whatever he ‘lost’ the next day. ( though I do that anyway).

Sillystrumpet · 27/05/2024 16:33

WalkingonWheels · 27/05/2024 15:20

My husband would have been to get it before I had finished my sentence.

Why> is there a reason you can’t walk to the end of your drive? And that he’d rush out so fast?

id hate that. I’m all grown up and perfectly capable. I am fortunate enough that I can walk to the end of my drive, having a vagina doesn’t make this an obstacle for me.

StormingNorman · 27/05/2024 16:28

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 15:09

How do you know I’m not? I’m not sure I need to disclose any of this in order to answer a question by OP on an internet forum 🤣

Because the very least you’d be able to is walk down your drive after dark if you were getting help. And DH would be supporting you in that to regain your independence.

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 16:17

Sweden99 · 27/05/2024 15:54

Yes. I am not stating otherwise. I would suggest that grocery shopping and childcare still tend to fall more on women and "icky" jobs on men.

So you occasionally get something from the bin and she does all the shopping and childcare. Great.

RisingSunn · 27/05/2024 16:17

If it’s just the driveway - why would I expect (or want) my husband to leave the warm bed to get something I accidentally threw away?

mydogisthebest · 27/05/2024 16:16

As soon as I starting putting shoes on DH would ask why I was going outside and then go himself.

I wear slippers indoors, he wears shoes so quicker for him to go. Plus I have terrible night vision and our bin is at the end of our 100 foot garden that has no lights.