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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would your husband…

415 replies

Sunflower8710 · 26/05/2024 23:55

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

OP posts:
SushiAndRamen · 27/05/2024 20:46

Why are all you grown adults scared of being outside in the dark? It's nuts.

Glipsy · 27/05/2024 20:34

If I asked because I was nude / lazy then yeah course he would, as I would for him.

But what is up with people being scared of the dark? Especially when it’s like ‘oh well if you live in a bad area maybe’. I live in a pretty full on drug dealer stabby bad area but if that meant any woman would get instantly attacked for stepping outside when it was dark then the fucking army would be here sorting it out. ‘bad area’ tends to mean a lot more risky for young men than women, in my experience - the bad things that happen to women seem to be able to happen anywhere.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 27/05/2024 20:26

@bananaramaterry

Lots of questions about his rant, ranting about others ranting and @Frogpole hasn't returned to answer them!

He could of course be riding on his steed to lay his coat across a puddle for his wife to walk across.

Grin

@CharlotteRumpling

I have a good friend who has a chihuahua, and I have never seen anything less capable of attacking anything bigger than an ant.

😆

shearwater2 · 27/05/2024 20:22

I wouldn't even ask, I'd just go and get it myself. He probably would go if I asked him, but would think it pretty strange of me to ask.

Sweden99 · 27/05/2024 20:19

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 19:39

Well you are really rude. Maybe these gentlemen are just wimps who are dominated by lazy women? Or maybe they are control freaks who won't let their "little woman" do anything for herself.

I despair, why we bothered fighting for equality in the 70s to end up like this I just don't know.

I apparently live in the vanguard of feminism, and I sometimes think that the attitude of young women here who see themselves as demanding equality would horrify many on MN who see themselves the same way.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/05/2024 20:18

I would expect my
Imaginary husband to come with me and hold a torch /for moral support but not to go himself and me stay cozy in bed unless you're pregnant or ill or something

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 19:56

GrumpyMiddleAgedCow · 27/05/2024 19:47

I would go get it and be laughed out the room if I told him I was scared to go to the end of the drive at night (I wouldn’t do it for him either and no we don’t live in a loveless relationship 😂)

I would, and have, done it for my husband but he is disabled. Good job he isn't married to someone who is too precious to do it.

GrumpyMiddleAgedCow · 27/05/2024 19:47

I would go get it and be laughed out the room if I told him I was scared to go to the end of the drive at night (I wouldn’t do it for him either and no we don’t live in a loveless relationship 😂)

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 19:44

@WalkingonWheels my husband is also kind but also respectful that he doesn't overstep my boundaries of capability.

I understand your capabilities are less than mine, but please don't infer that my DH is not kind.

Disturbia81 · 27/05/2024 19:43

MrsMammy · 27/05/2024 18:11

Ladies, it would appear that so many women on here are extremely angry and upset by the fact we have gentlemen for husbands and they're at home with their useless lazy pigs 😂

Nah just sat here enjoying being an independent woman who needs a man for nothing 😂

Notimeforaname · 27/05/2024 19:43

Yeah I would ask my partner to get it and he would. He does anything dirty and bin related in the house which I'm delighted about🤣

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 19:39

MrsMammy · 27/05/2024 18:11

Ladies, it would appear that so many women on here are extremely angry and upset by the fact we have gentlemen for husbands and they're at home with their useless lazy pigs 😂

Well you are really rude. Maybe these gentlemen are just wimps who are dominated by lazy women? Or maybe they are control freaks who won't let their "little woman" do anything for herself.

I despair, why we bothered fighting for equality in the 70s to end up like this I just don't know.

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 19:32

huuskymam · 27/05/2024 17:16

My husband was a litter warden and works in waste management for over 30 years, he'd have no issue digging through a rubbish bag for me or the kids. He wouldn't dream of telling me to do it, no matter who was at fault.

She put it there and if there is no physical reason she can't retrieve it then the obvious thing to do it go out and get it. Have you got an issue getting something out of your own bin?

Going on an earlier post your husband must be very manly after 30 years in waste management.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 27/05/2024 19:18

Stripeysocks1981 · 27/05/2024 18:26

Nah, just quite happy to not live like a stepford wife in the 50s thanks 👍🏻 embarrassing to be a grown arse woman who acts pathetic and can’t fend for herself.

Yeah this. I would happily have gone out and got said thing myself.

And being short is irrelevant (someone said they couldn't retrieve it as they were 5 ft 2.) You can get one of these grab-sticks. B & Q have them ...But Ebay do too. AND B & M.

However... If the bin was at the foot of the driveway waiting for the binmen to come the next day (as the OP claims,) the bloody thing would be at the top of the bin, as it would be pretty full! So being a teeny tiny makes no difference.

Would your husband…
CandiedPrincess · 27/05/2024 19:13

Agreed @SouthLondonMum22 I'd say the posters are the useless lazy ones!

CharlotteRumpling · 27/05/2024 19:11

Bit odd the posters whose husbands think they will be murdered. Do you all never go out after dark without husbands? feels like The Wire.

WalkingonWheels · 27/05/2024 19:08

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 15:51

Why?

Do you have issues that make you unable to perform such tasks?

Yes, I'm disabled. But even if I wasn't, he still would, because he's kind.

SouthLondonMum22 · 27/05/2024 18:52

MrsMammy · 27/05/2024 18:11

Ladies, it would appear that so many women on here are extremely angry and upset by the fact we have gentlemen for husbands and they're at home with their useless lazy pigs 😂

But it isn’t useless or lazy to just not get it yourself?

nokidshere · 27/05/2024 18:39

I’m 5’1” and worked out how to retrieve stuff by tipping the bin many years ago.

Well quite, but nothing would be important enough for me to go out and do that at midnight!

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 18:30

MrsMammy · 27/05/2024 18:11

Ladies, it would appear that so many women on here are extremely angry and upset by the fact we have gentlemen for husbands and they're at home with their useless lazy pigs 😂

It's so refreshing to see so many damsels in distress that rely on their husbands to do "icky" jobs.

So liberating for us capable women, who are equal to our men and therefore run the homes equally without blue and pink jobs? It's a good job you've told us how to behave and what to expect, I'm truly liberated by your simpering thanks to your husband for doing something you could do.

Meanwhile in 2024....

GrinGrin

Stripeysocks1981 · 27/05/2024 18:26

MrsMammy · 27/05/2024 18:11

Ladies, it would appear that so many women on here are extremely angry and upset by the fact we have gentlemen for husbands and they're at home with their useless lazy pigs 😂

Nah, just quite happy to not live like a stepford wife in the 50s thanks 👍🏻 embarrassing to be a grown arse woman who acts pathetic and can’t fend for herself.

RufustheFactualReindeer · 27/05/2024 18:24

If i mentioned i was going to the bin to get something then dh would go and get it himself

I8toys · 27/05/2024 18:24

I'd get it myself

RawBloomers · 27/05/2024 18:24

nokidshere · 27/05/2024 18:22

I'm 5ft 2. I can easily put something into the bin but would struggle to retrieve it, especially if it were midnight. If I were alone, it would just stay in the bin. If DH were here he would get it for me.

I’m 5’1” and worked out how to retrieve stuff by tipping the bin many years ago.

nokidshere · 27/05/2024 18:22

I'm 5ft 2. I can easily put something into the bin but would struggle to retrieve it, especially if it were midnight. If I were alone, it would just stay in the bin. If DH were here he would get it for me.