Would your husband…

He'd get it if I asked but I wouldn't ask, because I've got legs and arms and all that's required to get it myself including the ability to be a big girl.

Also, I’m not bemused by other women doing it themselves. I’m bemused at some posters indicating that they’d never ask their partner to do it for them, as if it’s such a massive drain on his time and resources to do something small for his wife/girlfriend.

Not seen anyone say it's a massive drain, do point me to the post though. Like you say it's a small thing, so I can do it myself.

@Startrekkeruniverse

Well I suppose this is what some DH's are for although mostly in the end it's this sort of thing that is indicative of a future split; generally one person or the other gets sick of being a 'slave', 'baby machine', whatever.

Can't see I would expect anyone to go out and retrieve something from a bin when I was the dumbshit that threw it away but then these 'silly games' can be what a few 'couples' get their rocks off on.

@Startrekkeruniverse I would! But you're asking because you can't do something? Then you're bemused that others wouldn't ask? Like everyone should have your issues?

Because they don't need to, they can do it themselves, therefore don't be bemused?

Yes and as I’ve stated above I’ve been followed on 3 separate occasions when out on my own after dark. Hence me not being mad keen on going out on my own after dark if possible. Fucking shoot me 🤣

I’d ask my dh to come out and hold the torch so that I could retrieve the item. And he’d do this.

places are different at midnight though. Some more isolated places are completely unlit and properly pitch black. Others in cities are lit up like a Christmas tree. So it depends really.

My bin day is tomorrow. Like a PP, I have no husband to ask/coerce so I'd have to do it myself. In fact I have just out my rubbish out in the dark and rain.

Also, I’m not bemused by other women doing it themselves. I’m bemused at some posters indicating that they’d never ask their partner to do it for them, as if it’s **such a massive drain on his time and resources to do something small for his wife/girlfriend.

@Startrekkeruniverse do you work? Do you come home in the dark in winter? Do you never meet friends after dark? Never shop after dark?

If the bin was full enough that I didn't need to tip it to retrieve something I would get it without even asking him.

If I needed to look for a while or tip the bin, he would help me in whatever way I needed.

I wouldn't ask him to do it himself because it's my mistake

So would you never ask your husband to eg make you a cup of tea? Because you’re perfectly capable of doing it yourself?

I don’t think I’m feeble, I’m just protecting myself from feeling unsafe like I have done before. If you think I am then that’s fine, I’m feeble I guess. 🙏 I’ll continue to not walk out in the dark on my own.

@Startrekkeruniverse but you're bemused by women not asking their partners, when they've stated they're clearly able to do it themselves?

Why are you bemused?

Just because you won't do it, which is irrational, why are you bemused by other women doing it themselves?

If OP had said "I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself….but having been followed by creepy men on three separate occasions I have a fear of being outside on my own after dark" and that was why she had asked her husband to do it, I am pretty sure she wouldn't have had such a high YABU @Startrekkeruniverse . Can you not understand that other posters on here don't feel like you? I'm not frightened to go out in my own garden in the dark and I don't think I'm terribly unusual or lucky. And I have had my own experiences with creeps over the years.

I don't think it's so much a pissing contest as incredulity that in this day and age there is still this feeble female attitude from some posters. And there have been a fair few of these "would your DH do this for you...?" type posts on MN.

@Startrekkeruniverse genuine question- what do you do in the middle of winter when it’s dark by 4pm?

@Startrekkeruniverse I think you need help

But I didn’t say it was rational? I never once mentioned the word rational and neither did the original post.

“Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?“ was the question and I answered it - mine would go and get it. Simple as that really.

I would just get it myself being a grown adult and all

Well that's great then, hopefully you'll not need something when he's out?

Being unable to go to the end of your drive is not rational.

@bananaramaterry @Cas112 that’s great for you both. Luckily my other half doesn’t mind so guess it’s not a problem in this house. He’s happy to help me out and vice versa.

You put it in the bin. I'm not sure why it's his problem. I don't think I'd have the audacity to say to my husband 'hey, I threw something away but now I need you to go and get it'

@Startrekkeruniverse I absolutely bloody have but I can't go retrieve something out the bloody bin and now expect my partner to do it because he's a man

@Startrekkeruniverse your fears are not rational.

Maybe because of being followed, but neither the less, it's not reasonable to not go and retrieve something from your bin, that you've disposed of.

I’ve clearly explained above why I don’t like going out on my own after dark. If your response to that is to tell me to get a grip then I can only assume that you’ve never been followed or attacked by a man. In which case aren’t you lucky.

Also I’m not sure why these threads always turn into some sort of female pissing contest. You’re happy to go out after dark on your own, I’m not. You win I guess 😕

I think healthy adults should do as much for themselves as they can.