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AIBU?

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Would your husband…

415 replies

Sunflower8710 · 26/05/2024 23:55

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

OP posts:
Starzinsky · 27/05/2024 08:36

You put it in the bin and need to retrieve it. What's your husband got to do with it.

Shodan · 27/05/2024 08:34

Samlewis96 · 27/05/2024 08:11

Bank holiday Monday so bins won't be collected today

Our bins get collected on a Bank Holiday. The only time the service is disrupted is around Christmas, when all collections are made the day after the Bank Holiday.

As for the question in the OP- I wouldn't ask DP to get the thing, but he'd almost certainly offer. He'd probably come with me anyway, tbh.

Iwasafool · 27/05/2024 08:34

It wouldn't even occur to me that he should do it, my mistake so I'd go and get it if I needed it.

CharlotteRumpling · 27/05/2024 08:32

I wouldn't ask because I live in a safe area.

DilemmaDelilah · 27/05/2024 08:31

My husband would get it, but not until morning.

StormingNorman · 27/05/2024 08:30

Frogpole · 27/05/2024 07:46

Good grief, do women really despise each other this much? Why are you lot sicking your Chihuahuas on people like @Startrekkeruniverse (who I've never talked to and isn't known to me, for clarity)? Why are so many of you seething in uncontrollable rage because someone has a different life experience or opinion than your own?

What's the obsession with tearing each other down, and this race to the bottom competition of "durr, my husband hasn't emptied the bin since the battle of Hastings so you should delete your post!!!ONE!1!ELeVEN!!1".

For reference, if Mrs Frogpole put something in the bin then realised she needed it there wouldn't be a moment's though or discussion, I'd just go and get it - not that she's incapable or even phased about getting her hands dirty, it's just not a very nice job and I'd rather do it myself so she doesn't have to. When we've heard a noise in the night I go and look to see what it is.. because I couldn't just lay there waiting to see if anything bad happens to her, and also because there's a 18" difference in height between us and a 150lb weight difference, at which point it's just a matter of utility.

Whilst I'm sure that makes me guilty of itsism and means I'm an ismist, you really shouldn't be acting this way to each other. This isn't the oppression Olympics.

The feeble female stereotype does us all down and posts like the OP’s perpetuate the idea that women are less capable/more vulnerable than men. And this outdated stereotype creates problems in every area of life from promotions at work to being seen as targets for violence.

Women are annoyed by women who perpetuate the myth that we are delicate little creatures that need big strong men to rescue us from life’s unpleasant or difficult situations.

It has nothing to do with whether partners are able or willing to help.

Otherstories2002 · 27/05/2024 08:30

If he spills a plate of food do you clean it up for him?

BringMeSunshineAllDayLong · 27/05/2024 08:27

I would do it but ask DH because I'm a lazy fucker.

geoger · 27/05/2024 08:24

I’d probably go myself but, why not just wait until the morning?

RedHelenB · 27/05/2024 08:23

Sunflower8710 · 26/05/2024 23:55

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

I'd expect to get it myself as I was the one who mistakenly put it there.

BalloonSlayer · 27/05/2024 08:22

Our bins are collected on Bank Holidays. I live in a large county.

Cailin66 · 27/05/2024 08:21

My husband would go if I asked him. I don’t like the street in the dark, but now my husband is unable to go I no longer can ask him to. It’s one of the nice things about a marriage that you do nice things for each other.

MrHowardsPears · 27/05/2024 08:21

Mine would go and get it but then he is 6'3" and built like a rugby player, you could bodily lift me. Although an area near us isn't that dodgy but a woman was bricked over the head multiple times and raped in a fucking front garden. CCTV shockingly shows caught it all from a distance.

It depends where you live and what the end of the drive is like. Some have short gardens/drives others have 8ft hedges and can conceal a lot. Some taxis drivers have got out of their car so they can see I get to my front door due to how private the entrance to my drive is.

MartinsSpareCalculator · 27/05/2024 08:19

My husband would offer if I mentioned it but I don't see that I would because I'm capable of walking to the end of a driveway myself. My legs don't fall off after dark or anything.

Why don't you have a security light if its so pitch black that you're incapacitated by it?

Luio · 27/05/2024 08:18

I would get it. My husband would get it if I had a broken leg or there was some other reason why I was incapable. He would probably hate doing it more than me. There are many other things he would definitely do for me though.

5128gap · 27/05/2024 08:16

No. He'd go. He does all that type of thing. Anything dirty, heavy, dark or unpleasant, never a question in his mind that I'd do it. And there is no way I'm going to insist otherwise on principle.

HooverTheRoof · 27/05/2024 08:13

Mine would go an get it because I'm absolutely terrified of spiders and the bins are very spidery. He is nice like that.

StoatofDisarray · 27/05/2024 08:12

I would get it myself, of course!

Samlewis96 · 27/05/2024 08:11

Gladtobeout · 27/05/2024 00:15

Maybe their bin day is Monday?

Bank holiday Monday so bins won't be collected today

TakeThePain · 27/05/2024 08:11

We would have a 'I'll get it' 'no don't be daft I'll get it' and then he would go, as he was always going to, and I was always going to let him 😆

gamerchick · 27/05/2024 08:10

I wouldn't ask.

If it didn't jump up and down waving it's arms about, he probably wouldn't see it anyway.

BigDahliaFan · 27/05/2024 08:10

@Startrekkeruniverse that all sounds pretty limiting to me….what if you were home alone?

BigDahliaFan · 27/05/2024 08:09

If I was already for bed and he wasn’t I’d ask, otherwise I’d do it by myself. If we were both in bed and I just remembered I might ask, but I think I’d get an ‘oh my god have you legs suddenly both fallen off, oh they haven’t, off you pop’ response.

Sillystrumpet · 27/05/2024 08:08

What’s the back story, why are you scared to go to the bottom of the drive at 11.30? Is it a rough area? You put it in there, you needed it.why can’t you go and get it, doesn’t feel like a blue Job to me?

if I asked my husband to get it, he would , but I’d just go and get it myself and not expect him to do that, but I’m not scared to go to thr bottom of my drive at night.

StormingNorman · 27/05/2024 08:04

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 00:16

Mine would go and get it. I wouldn’t go and get it in the pitch black, too many creeps around. It’s obviously unlikely anything would happen but he wouldn’t expect me to go out there in the dark. I’m a bit bemused by posters saying they wouldn’t even ask their partner.

I’m worried for your mental health that you live in so much fear you wouldn’t walk to the end of your drive after dark. That really is something you should address.