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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would your husband…

415 replies

Sunflower8710 · 26/05/2024 23:55

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 27/05/2024 10:37

If I put it in the bin I don't think it would occur to me to ask my husband to go get it, why wouldn't I just get it myself?

K0OLA1D · 27/05/2024 10:37

Notthatcatagain · 27/05/2024 00:28

It's a bank holiday this week

Show quote history

My bins were out last night from 5pm. Bin men were here at 6.15am this morning

IMustDoMoreExercise · 27/05/2024 10:32

My husband would always offer to go and get it.

MumblesParty · 27/05/2024 10:32

My partner would do it if I asked him. But I wouldn’t ask him, because it was my fault in the first place, I’m an adult, I’m not disabled, and I’m not scared of the dark.

HelloJillll · 27/05/2024 10:28

I would expect to get it myself but my husband would offer & maybe even insist he got it.

Choochoo21 · 27/05/2024 10:20

I don’t understand why you would even ask him.

Why is he more capable of getting something out of a bin than you are?

You put it in there, so you get it out.

If he had put it in there then he’d be the one to get it out.

I’m sure you won’t come back to the thread as you were hoping that posters would all jump on him and call him a bad DH etc and it’s backfired on you.

Stop being lazy and entitled and get it yourself.

stargirly · 27/05/2024 10:13

technically you ‘should’ get it as it’s your mistake and you who wants it, and you’re presumably capable of going yourself, but in practice in this situation and ones like it my husband would definitely go for me

Imbusytodaysorry · 27/05/2024 10:04

You put it in the bin “today” so why wait untill
its late before getting it out ?

You already had the idea in your head that your dh was doing it for you so seen no rush and quite happy to send him out at that time ?

toadinthebucket · 27/05/2024 09:56

C1N1C · 27/05/2024 06:08

Despite being quite split, there's a 'vibe' in here that many feel bins are innately a man's job. Fair comment?

We split bin activities... If I happen to be doing the dishes, my wife will do the bins, and vice versa. Although one time we had my wife's friend over and my wife was doing the bins and it was 'shock horror'... doesn't your husband do those?!

No, not a fair comment. There is not that "vibe" here at all!! Only a handful of posters (and some of them came after your post) have said they think bins are innately a man's job.

HurdyGurdy19 · 27/05/2024 09:41

He would definitely go and get it for me. Begrudgingly, probably, but he'd do it

OhFensa · 27/05/2024 09:29

My partner would go if I asked him to go, but he'd think I'm an idiot, as he'd know it's because I'm scared of werewolves and cloven hooved spirits rather than stalky men.

diddl · 27/05/2024 09:24

Unfortunate that you didn't remember until it was dark.

Unless it was far down & easier for him to reach I wouldn't bother asking.

Generally if I ask him to do stuff that's easier for him to do than me he'll do it though.

tuvamoodyson · 27/05/2024 09:19

I wouldn’t ask, I’d just go and retrieve it. If I asked him, he would do it, but I can do
it myself….but then I’m not scared of being murdered at the end of my drive 🤷🏼‍♀️

RacketsAndRounders · 27/05/2024 09:19

Yabu. Millions of women live alone and the buck stops with them. It's the end of the driveway in a first world country.

Presumably you undertake riskier activities like being in a car on a regular basis?

Shoxfordian · 27/05/2024 09:17

My husband would get it for me
He'd do anything for me really

WithIcePlease · 27/05/2024 09:15

It would depend on what it was.
If it was an engagement ring, we would both go because it would be hard to find in the dark. If it was my favourite kitchen knife, he'd probably say leave it and buy another and I would go by myself.
If it was something like important financial information that's needed for the tax return, he'd be off like a greyhound!

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 09:15

Frogpole · 27/05/2024 07:46

Good grief, do women really despise each other this much? Why are you lot sicking your Chihuahuas on people like @Startrekkeruniverse (who I've never talked to and isn't known to me, for clarity)? Why are so many of you seething in uncontrollable rage because someone has a different life experience or opinion than your own?

What's the obsession with tearing each other down, and this race to the bottom competition of "durr, my husband hasn't emptied the bin since the battle of Hastings so you should delete your post!!!ONE!1!ELeVEN!!1".

For reference, if Mrs Frogpole put something in the bin then realised she needed it there wouldn't be a moment's though or discussion, I'd just go and get it - not that she's incapable or even phased about getting her hands dirty, it's just not a very nice job and I'd rather do it myself so she doesn't have to. When we've heard a noise in the night I go and look to see what it is.. because I couldn't just lay there waiting to see if anything bad happens to her, and also because there's a 18" difference in height between us and a 150lb weight difference, at which point it's just a matter of utility.

Whilst I'm sure that makes me guilty of itsism and means I'm an ismist, you really shouldn't be acting this way to each other. This isn't the oppression Olympics.

👏 someone who gets it!

WaltzingWaters · 27/05/2024 09:14

Mine would go if I asked him. But I wouldn’t ask him unless I was ill, I’d just do it myself.

duvetdayy · 27/05/2024 09:10

My DP would definitely go and get it if I asked him to, as would I if he asked me to if the roles were reversed, but it wouldn’t be because of safety reasons. I don’t massively like the dark outside so he probably would just go for me I suppose.

Chickenuggetsticks · 27/05/2024 09:09

DH would offer to go get it but I’d be like “eurgh I’m the one that chucked it, I’ll go get it!” And he’d be like “it’s ok I’ll get it” and I would be like “no! I’ll do it” and then eventually I would go have a rummage around in the bin while swearing under my breath. If we lived in a bad area though he would insist on getting it. I wouldn’t worry about it being dark though.

Wallywobbles · 27/05/2024 09:08

Would depend on state of dress. If I was in the bath and he was dressed he'd get it for me.

But I often have to get up for lambing in the dead of night in winter and wouldn't dream of getting him up because it's dark.

MonsteraMama · 27/05/2024 09:05

Mine would offer to go get it if I mentioned it to him, and would go without complaint if I said "oh would you?" but I wouldn't expect him to tbh.

Unless your bins are in Mordor I'm not sure why you need him to do it for you?

Stravaig · 27/05/2024 09:03

How long is the drive? Where do you live? Are there bears roaming ravenously across miles of rough terrain between you and the bin? Lions? Zombies?

If so, YABVU to expect your husband to risk his life retrieving something you happily threw out. Do without whatever it is, until you can ride out in armoured convoy. With outriders. And flamethrowers.

If not, stop expecting your husband to be your trash-rummaging tat-retrieving mistake-rectifying errand boy.

AtomicBlondeRose · 27/05/2024 09:02

TakeThePain · 27/05/2024 08:11

We would have a 'I'll get it' 'no don't be daft I'll get it' and then he would go, as he was always going to, and I was always going to let him 😆

Ha! Literally this.

I mean, I’d go myself if I had to, no worries, but he’d be out of bed in a flash and I’d be “ah ok if you insist” 😂

My ex? Yeah, I’d be going myself.

Lily193 · 27/05/2024 08:58

Notthatcatagain · 27/05/2024 00:10

Why is your bin at the end of the drive at a weekend? That's considered very poor form where I live. Bins have to be put away promptly or the council put a big sticker on it

Maybe they live in a huge detached house with a very long drive and no neighbours for miles