Messy people always get their way

🤣

And cos I’m really really sad well that it I’ll share images of shadow boards (5s technique) that are game changer for putting stuff down randomly, just cos images make me happy 😉😱🙄🤦‍♀️

and yes, I’ve done it in my utility 🤣🤣🤣

I grew up in a house of extreme, overwhelming and exhausting perfection.

Me too.

Interestingly there was competitive tidying going on between my relatives that my cousins were recently speaking about. Their Mom’s found my mother’s perfectionism very intimidating. But actually the perfectionism hid a lot of the crimes that were going on under the surface very well.

I like living in clean and a small bit messy but like actual humans live in the building.

You should see my utility room…I am full on 5s 🤣🤣🤣🤣 look it up if you don’t know.
I blame my employer who installed these principles into employers ( manufacturing sector)

the reason manufacturers are keen on 5s is the sheer amount of non value add time ( lost capacity and money) spent by operators, engineers etc looking for tools, materials etc they can’t find. You do maths of each minute wasted, over sum of workforce, over 24/7 shifts and you’re talking days

its not unreasonable to feel pissed when others waste your time.

I agree with this…but I think mine is more specific as I’m on the “ tidy” end of spectrum

i remember a very specific point in my early teens when I dropped something on floor in my own bedroom. The day before I’d have left it. That day a very clear internal “ voice” said pick it up. I did. That internal voice of conscientiousness has been stalking me ever since (. 45 plus years). It is frankly a bloody pain. I’d love to be someone laid back about mess. But I’m not…that little internal check goes on and on

so there we go…it may be there’s a split between the move on people you say…but I think there’s also the internal dialogue factors that come into play

I haven't read the whole thread so someone may have already said this but also people who are alway late get their way too.

Entropy …unfortunately the natural order of the universe 🤷🏼‍♀️

Seriously Op, the ONLY way to deal with this is to get a cleaner. If you can afford it even once a month it will save your sanity and budding resentment

I tried to cope with it for 12 years with kids. A promotion resulted in me giving husband ultimatum of that’s what my pay rise is going on and you can stick it

i live on my own now, retired, kids left home. Cleaning is the perk. Once per month blitz. My mess only and not much of it. 🥳🥳

I'm untidy in the sense that I often leave things 'out' to remind me and if someone puts that away in a drawer or something it can mean that bill doesn't get paid or I don't have sun cream with me that day etc - so I can find it annoying!

That's not tidying... thats putting stuff out of sight. Its creating work.

What a weird response. As I said we do but my view is you don’t have to tidy every toy away the second it’s put down or line all the cushions back up if you leave the sofa. As an example I left my AirPods on the hall table the other day because I was going for a run later, in the meantime they ended up in in a kitchen draw. They don’t go there (they go on my desk) and I’d specifically said why I’d left them out. It’s excessive.

This is why I live alone. I can have my exact level of tidy/messy. I would place myself around the middle of that spectrum. Too far either way isn't good imo.

I grew up in a "show home". We were only allowed in the living room to sit still and watch TV. Not allowed in the kitchen except to eat. Never any messy play or baking or whatever. I had to share a room with my sister and, if it wasn't nice enough to play out, it was like being in prison! We had bunks, a tiny room, no space to do anything. We actually had a lovely large "spare" room that no one ever stayed in! So it wasn't lack of space.

I couldn't live with anyone really messy but likewise I also couldn't live with someone that expected everything tidied the moment you'd used it. That would also be stressful to me.

It doesn't register in my home.. it seems so simple! I am sure the dc don't enjoy me calling them back downstairs to move the crisp packets, shoes, dirty dishes etc. Yet I do every time and they never learn!

That's definitely not the case, lol.

My DP and both DSs are like this. I can laugh about it with them sometimes, but as a disabled person, it does get very tiring picking up and following them around!

Tidy up after yourself and you don’t need to tidy up.

seems simple to me but no one else in my home gets this.

To all those wondering why people do things like leave cupboard doors open - I watch my dd do it all the time, it's because her brain has already moved on to the next thing. Because I love her unconditionally, I watch her fascinated rather than bitter. She isn't doing it deliberately to irritate me, nor weaponised incompetence, she has simply already moved on. She is, waiting, to be assessed for adhd. I am trying to teach her to slow down, look around the room before she leaves it etc, but it is

I think you might be right @arethereanyleftatall.

DH gets so frustrated at his inability to find stuff, which is why I remind him to look on the most logical place.

We both did an online ADHD test and he scored 94, I scored 26, and we both think that he has ADHD tendencies.

I particularly like things being taken near to the bin and left on the worktop next to the bin.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

I beg to differ actually, OH is almost a hoarder, he would be if I didnt stay on top of him, he calls this 'controlling'.

He is offended and upset at things being tidied, cleaned, moved around, put their homes (drawers and cupboards) and most upset at things being thrown out when they're broken or no longer used.

I have zero tolerance here, I am not going to live in a shithole.

Is this an ADHD brain/non-ADHD brain thing for the initial behaviour? Followed up by a more conscious decision to be considerate of others or not. Neither wrong nor right, but definitely compatible/not compatible.

DH is the put the scissors down type. He also leaves lights on, leaves cupboards and drawers open, puts the front door key in his pocket when returning to the house instead of in the door, leaves the washing up water in when he has finished washing up and a myriad other things in a similar vein.

Then spends hours (and I literally mean hours) looking for stuff. It drives me round the bend.

He works from home and his desk is chaos. The floor of his office is scattered with files and bits of paper as well.

I also WFH and have commandeered a spare bedroom. My desk has a laptop, 2 wide-screen monitors, mouse, keyboard, pen and notebook and that is it.

I see what you mean - the bins didn't even get done when I was in hospital recently! Loads of other things like disinfecting surfaces, leaving ready meal packaging out, splattering toothpaste all over the sink and not cleaning up. Makes me feel like a nag.

I met a parent friend like this at a toddler group. I went round to her house for a play date when my ds was 3.

She told him off for being a conservatory toy in to the living room!… We never went round again.

I think there are essentially two types of people - those who take out a scissors, cut something and put the scissors away; and those who put the scissors down.

I’m the latter. My brain has already moved on to the next stage of whatever I’m doing and I can’t do those little back track loops. But as an adult I have trained myself to build in a 5 minute tidy up at the end of a project, and several 5 minute whirlwind tidy ups throughout a day to find all the displaced items. I can’t see them until I actively try looking for them.

That’s motivated by consideration for others. And I suppose therein is the other distinction. I know some extreme tidiers who lack consideration.

I'm a naturally messy, untidy person. I don't even notice mess. But my husband isn't, he's very tidy. I have made a real effort to be tidier around the house and it's worked. I recognise that it makes my life easier. However, whenever he is away for work I revert to my natural self but tidy it all up before he gets back.