Do you check your partner’s phone?

I did not want to see their phones. I grew up being really decent and honest when it comes to the relationship, feeling you have to be respectful and trusting.

Ex partner no.1 - no suspicions, he was pissed and left his phone on a worktop in the kitchen, it beeped and I looked at the screen - without even picking it up. It was a message saying "cant wait to see you again xxx" from someone with man's name. I opened the message and realised its a woman.

Ex partner 2 - he went to the shower, I was bored so wanted to look at something on my laptop he was using that morning - opened it and it was his emails with him messaging someone that he wanted to see their "tits and clit"...

If I'm going to be cheated on I want to know as soon as humanly possible. Not after a few years when I was basically a laughing stock among his friends and lovers (like I was). So now - fuck privacy, my peace of mind takes priority.

But you must have had suspicions if you wanted to see their phone. I think that's the only scenario that would be acceptable to go through someone's phone, if you already had reason to think they were cheating. If you would automatically assume the worst solely on them not wanting to share their phone with you, that's your issue and not theirs'. If someone is going to cheat, they'll cheat regardless. Maybe you'd find out a bit quicker by seeing their phone but if there's no trust then there's no point being with someone. At some point, you have to relax and have faith that you're a person who won't abuse your trust.

I never checked my 2 ex partners phones and they both cheated on me. In both cases I found out (ex no.1) when accidentally seeing a message on their phone and (ex no.2) when he left his emails open on my laptop. Both were very into the whole "my phone is private" thing, would never let me touch their phones etc. Needles to say, because of these experiences, if someone is being super defensive around their phone I would automatically think they have stuff to hide.

I have lots of stuff on my phone I wouldn't want my partner to read.

We don't go on each other's phones. I don't see any need. He has gone on it to sort out technical issues, but that's it. We trust each other. However my phone is private and I wouldn't want him reading through my private chats with friends, seeing every random thing I've googled or pictures of my celebrity crush I have saved. Not because there's anything he'd go ballistic over , but because it's pointless and we're all entitled to privacy.

Our marriage predates cell phones, so for many years we shared a house phone. When we got cell phones it never occurred to us not to have open access. We each have the other's password and will pick up either phone if it rings or dings. In a marriage there should be no secrets on a phone or elsewhere.

Don't need to check his phone, we have a decent router for our wireless at home with a mesh network, both me and my DH can check all the traffic history on the network if we really wanted too.

Plenty of ways of checking what he is upto without getting his password, but no reason not to trust him.

Don't agree at all that only the guilty will hide access to their phone. My phone is private, I am entitled to privacy. Not because I'm doing anything wrong but I'm not an extension of another person and I don't need to share every single aspect of my life.

I know all dp's passwords and he knows mine. Apart from anything else it's part of our "what if one of us dies" planning. And we leave our phones around "unattended" and could look if we wanted to

But I really don't understand "oh, I use his phone to order pizza" Why would you not use your own? Apart from anything else, I know where everything is on my phone!

I've never used dh's phone or checked it and vice versa. I just don't have any need to. I use a lock password on my phone because I work in a school. I don't leave it lying around in school, but just in case.

Me and dh have same passcodes I have nothing to be worried about and nor does he only thing he might find on mine is replying to posts on mumsnet on open tab 😂😂

Only jealous, insecure people ‘sneak’ a look at their partners phones. Equally, only the guilty will hide access to their phone from their partner. My motto has always been.. if you look, you will find something that you will take out of context.

My wife and I both have the same security pattern on our phones, and sometimes borrow each others (if a battery runs out or something). I can't imagine either of us particularly wanting to snoop on the other, but I wouldn't be bothered if she had a nosey through either.

Nope never. We might order takeaway on each others - we did tonight, he bought it so I used his phone to select etc - but would never go through it. Massive invasion of privacy imo.

DH and I never use each other's phones. We'd much rather use our own if we need to do anything. We've never checked each other's phone during 16 years together. I'm confident that it would be boring. He wouldn't object if I asked to check it though. I wouldn't like him checking mine. I'd be worried he'd press something and mess up my settings.

I glance occasionally and it's always the same. Forums about the games he is into or other nerdy things. Sometimes he glances at my phone and it is usually some kind of gushy post about him

I've never checked my DH's phone and he's never checked mine.

We trust each other.

I never check his phone, I don't know if he checks mine or not, probably not.
We have the same password and we're always leaving them laying around.
If we want to order food etc, we just use the nearest phone to hand.

Mine is locked down as it’s a work phone, his work phone is locked down, neither of us can privately access or would wish to. However he also has a personal one, I don’t, I tend to use it for him often as he’s really crap with his phones. I have done things in his work phone randomly ie check doe something and it’s just weird engineers type shit on there.

We both have the same pattern to unlock but we never actually look at each others phones. We do occasionally use each others phones if one is out of battery or in another room or whatever. Neither of us would look at the others messages though.

No, he talks enough about 3D printing in person. I'll pass on the reddits and WhatsApp groups about it, thanks.

We swap phones for things like the Tesco order. If I've started the order and put on all the usual bits plus whatever I want i'll hand it over to him to put his bits on and vice versa. Last night we were looking at holidays and were switching back and forth to show what we had found and liked the look of. When we do this I wouldn't go looking anywhere other than what I was meant to be looking at/doing and the same goes for him. He's asked me to write emails for work stuff if he's driving and got a call about something important.

Cheating was discovered by partners and spouses long before the advent of the smart phone. If he wants to cheat then I'm sure it would be obvious in other ways. I don't need to go looking through his phone and wouldn't want to. We don't share passcodes either. I have close friends who have private conversations with me, I'm sure he has the same. I don't want to read messages from Nigel about a weird lump or his funny smelling pee as much as he doesn't want to read messages from Karen about her mastitis or episiotomy healing journey. That would be a double invasion of privacy.

Never, but I could if I wanted to. We occasionally swap phones if one of us needs to use an app we don't have but the other one does, and neither of us keeps our phones on us all the time.

Never, but I could if I wanted to. We occasionally swap phones if one of us needs to use an app we don't have but the other one does, and neither of us keeps our phones on us all the time.

This is so odd. I said what I said.