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Original poster

To have elective surgery DH disagrees with?

134 replies

WhatWouldYouDoEh · 26/05/2024 15:31

I'd be interested to know if anyone has been in a similar boat and what did you do?

"Surgery" might be a bit strong - it's LASEK or LASIK. Something I've wanted to do for a long time as I hate wearing glasses or contact lenses.

My DH has seemed supportive so far, but now I'm at the point where I've had an initial consultation and I'm suitable to go ahead, he has said he doesn't agree with me having it done. He's concerned about the potential complications (mainly driving at night).

Ultimately he will respect my decision and not stop me going ahead, but now there's a voice of doubt in my mind.

He called it "vanity" surgery and has said he doesn't think it's worth the risk.

I have dreamt of being free of glasses for years and can finally afford to make it a reality. I must admit now I am having doubts.

OP posts:
Nn9011 · 26/05/2024 15:47

I looked into the surgery too and honestly everything I read put me off. One interesting point was that if the surgeries are so successful why have none of the surgeons got it themselves.
On a more serious note though, how quickly people require glasses again and the side effects so many experience is crazy.

CountingCrones · 26/05/2024 15:46

I think it sounds a great idea, OP. Go for it!

Original poster
WhatWouldYouDoEh · 26/05/2024 15:45

DontKnow1988 · 26/05/2024 15:42

It was the best thing I ever did. Life changing.

Any sensitivity to bright lights, hazing etc, went away completely by 1 month.

It's not a "gamble" as a previous posted suggested. The chances of life long complications are extremely small.

The longer you leave it, the higher the chance that it won't remove the need for glasses completely. So don't wait.

The day of surgery is a pain. You need to be in a dark room for a few hours, someone needs to pick you up to take you home. I had my surgery at 10 am and was watching the evening news with perfect vision (albeit a mild headache and needed to turn the brightness of the TV down a tiny bit)

I was back at work immediately (and my job involves staring at a screen all day)

Thanks!

Sounds like you had LASIK (the one where they cut a flap) and I'm leaning towards LASEK, which I think it meant to be more painful and a slower recovery (but on balance slightly less risk of complications). But still good to hear such a positive account!

I just feel that DHs comments have really taken the wind out of my sails... I mean I know there are risks, but that can be said about almost everything we do in life...

OP posts:
DontKnow1988 · 26/05/2024 15:42

It was the best thing I ever did. Life changing.

Any sensitivity to bright lights, hazing etc, went away completely by 1 month.

It's not a "gamble" as a previous posted suggested. The chances of life long complications are extremely small.

The longer you leave it, the higher the chance that it won't remove the need for glasses completely. So don't wait.

The day of surgery is a pain. You need to be in a dark room for a few hours, someone needs to pick you up to take you home. I had my surgery at 10 am and was watching the evening news with perfect vision (albeit a mild headache and needed to turn the brightness of the TV down a tiny bit)

I was back at work immediately (and my job involves staring at a screen all day)

Needanadultgapyear · 26/05/2024 15:40

I have lens replacement ( which is a much bigger deal) and it has changed my life. I had no idea how detrimental glasses were to my life regular sinus pain and headaches. In my job glasses getting knocked happens very easily so that no longer happens.

Original poster
WhatWouldYouDoEh · 26/05/2024 15:38

MILTOBE · 26/05/2024 15:33

What are the chances of complications? Where would you get it done?

They are low - but they are there (as with anything). Possible issues with driving at night due to hazing being the main one. I'm probably going to opt for LASEK as I think that seems to have less risks overall (as there is no flap cut into the eye) but the recovery is reportedly longer and more painful... and that was the one the surgeon said he'd probably recommend (although he did say I was borderline and suitable for either so I would need to make the decision).

I'd be having it done at a BUPA hospital, by a very experienced surgeon, who has assessed me thoroughly.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 26/05/2024 15:36

I know two people who have had it - one it was very successful on and they no longer wear glasses. The other was less successful and still wears glasses for driving and reading. Both can drive at night. It’s a bit of a gamble but I think the best you can do is to have consultations from more than one facility to get as well-rounded a view as you can. It’s not entirely vanity because people also have it to reduce eye strain, headaches, etc. But I would go to more than one place and compare their suitability tests, aftercare, pricing, etc. Maybe then if you go ahead your DH will feel it was more of a researched decision?

xyz111 · 26/05/2024 15:34

Have it done!!! It's the best decision I ever made and wish I'd have done it years before!!!

MILTOBE · 26/05/2024 15:33

What are the chances of complications? Where would you get it done?