To have elective surgery DH disagrees with?

People always say this but I think there are a lot of reasons not many (not none though) eye surgeons don’t have laser surgery. Firstly, they need to have super sharp vision for the microscopic surgeries they do so the small chance of a residual prescription that can’t be corrected by glasses could affect their work. For people not working in this or a similar field then they might not even notice that small deficit. Secondly I imagine they have seen or read about the tiny number of serious complications which would create a bias in the same way all obstetricians and colorectal surgeons seem to have c sections as they’ve seen the worst possible outcomes from vaginal deliveries.

I had a not totally successful lasik (residual prescription, some hazing of lights, dry eyes) and it’s still one of the best things I ever did!

its brilliant for some people. For others (like me) it cost upwards of 3 grand, I now have dry eyes, recovery took ages, vision at night is not great and I have to wear glasses full time again. It barely lasted 2 years before I needed glasses - I’m only in my mid thirties so it’s not the reading glasses in later life scenario that they’ll promise you. My optician said I’m far from the only one he’s seen in this situation.

your DH has a point.

That old rehashed line….

it’s absolutely brilliant. I cannot believe I tolerated 20yrs not being able to see without glasses or contacts. It’s life changing.

I'm afraid that the surgery is irrelevant to me. Your choice. End of.

Your DHs reaction is late, unpleasant and unhelpful

And you are now MORE worried because should something go wrong, you'll have to deal with the problem AND DH being a fucking twat

He sounds like a liability to me

Does your dh just not want to spend the money?

I had mine done in 2004, I'm only now just starting to need to wear glasses / lenses again now as my eyes have aged (now 47) but 20 years of perfect vision and not having to mess with lenses, prescription sunglasses/ goggles etc were absolutely worth the money and the very slight negatives of slightly dry eyes and slight halos on dark, wet nights.

Sorry but your last update doesn't make it sound like he's very nice, rather a bit vindictive and like you walk on eggshells around him.

It sounds like you have a good doctor and aren't going to a high street chain which is important. My only regret is that I didn't do it years before! I also regret staying too long with my rigid husband who had no empathy.

He said it was just for vanity. That's just insulting.

A friend had the Lasik surgery. It went well, but when she ultimately needed cataract surgery years later, it somehow made that more difficult.

I understand not wanting to wear glasses, although I wear them all the time and I'm fine with them.
But surgery is never without risk and I personally would never have a surgery that I didn't medically need. Everybody is different.

Does he have perfect vision? If so he can't possibly understand and needs to STFU. Either way he needs to respect your bodily autonomy.

OP said he won't stop her. He's perfectly entitled to voice his concerns over a procedure that carries a risk.

How the fuck is it vanity to want to be able to see?

I wear glasses, and I would never have this done because why take a risk with unnecessary surgery for - let's face it - reasons of vanity. And I do rather like wearing glasses.
However, this is most definitely not your husband's decision to make, OP, so if you want to do it, then go ahead. It's nothing to do with him.

Another day, another shit husband on MN.

Does he have perfect vision? If so he can't possibly understand and needs to STFU. Either way he needs to respect your bodily autonomy.

Personally my laser eye surgery was the best money I ever spent. I took the bus home, spent the afternoon doing the drops and relaxing and was like a new person by evening.

I had lens replacement a few months ago. Honestly, if I’d have had the funds I’d have had it done years ago.

honestly, it’s a revelation being able to see - exercise is easier. I constantly marvel - went to an outdoor pool and just spent the whole time going wow, I can see the clock, other side of the pool etc. dh thought it was hilarious.

its not vanity to want to be able to see and not have to constantly clean your glasses, have them steam up, put them down and not be able to find them etc.

My husband had it done and said it was the best thing he’s ever done. He’s now paid it off and soon will reach the tipping point where it has paid for itself by him not having to buy contact lens every month. It’s your body, who cares if it’s “vanity” - and it’s not, it’s corrective.

Does he wear glasses all the time? If he does, is his prescription higher or lower than yours?

It's very easy for somebody who has 20/20 vision and sees all around them clearly all the time to say it's just for vanity when they have absolutely no idea of how much extra they can see than somebody who only sees the bit of the world that is overlaid with acrylic - especially when that goes on to be the bit of the world that's overlaid with the right set of acrylic out of a choice of 3 or one exceptionally expensive set of glasses that might be OK and only if you're at a certain distance and position and there's no additional light sources and you weren't particularly tired at the time of the eye test and the lab did a perfect job and your eyesight hasn't changed again in the last three months...etc, etc, etc.

Go ahead. You've made your decision based upon what is right for you, not what he thinks - and what the hell is 'vanity' to do with it? Is he claiming that you're doing it to make you more attractive to other men? Fuck off.

One piece of advice from my experience, take the after care really seriously. Do everything they tell you, don't be tempted to cut corners.
A friend of mine didn't really follow the guidance and her night vision isn't great. I did, and mind is fine. Maybe it's coincidence, but why take the risk?

I had LASEK and was completely out of action for at least three days, so you’ll need your husband’s support - I had a combo of him and then when he has to work he took me to my parents because the drop regime is very important and I couldn’t see anything so wouldn’t be able to self administer the right things!