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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family holiday

57 replies

Hydrate100 · 26/05/2024 15:09

Will try and stick to the facts. Changed name also but on here a lot.

FIL has big birthday end of May, 60. Back in October he said he wanted us to go away together so his two sons, wives and kids. We said back then that we didn't think we could afford it as my job contract is temporary and husband's contract was coming to an end in March. BIL and wife earn a great deal more than us and have multiple holidays a year. We suggested waiting to October half term when we'd hopefully know more about our jobs.

Would your parents or in laws go away with the other sibling anyway and leave the other sibling at home? AIBU and over sensitive or is it piss poor that they are all off on holiday together in August to celebrate and we can't go.

OP posts:
Marblessolveeverything · 26/05/2024 15:49

A break in the summer is very different to the autumn. So I would see it as he wants a summer break .

Original poster
Hydrate100 · 26/05/2024 15:47

Just feels unfair that they couldn't have waited.

OP posts:
Marblessolveeverything · 26/05/2024 15:25

So noone can have anything your don't have? YABU, it's not fair to expect others not to have a summer break because you can't afford it.

Cuppateatea · 26/05/2024 15:20

As a MIL I definitely wouldn’t do this. We have been away with our adult DCs, partners, DGC and we pay for the accommodation and they sort their own flights though we did pay for an all inclusive holiday for all of us. I’m aware not everyone can do this. I would have at least waited until you were able to go as I’d definitely want all my DCs there. Seems a bit mean to me.

makeanddo · 26/05/2024 15:20

When my parents have wanted the family to celebrate a milestone event they have paid for the event/holiday.

To be honest it would have to be somewhere I really wanted to go to pay for myself and my family for something like that so in your example I just wouldn't go. If FIL wants something he pays, simple. If he doesn't you just don't go!

19lottie82 · 26/05/2024 15:14

YABU You can’t expect your PILs to not go on holiday to celebrate a big birthday, just because you can’t go. That’s ridiculous and selfish.

NosyJosie · 26/05/2024 15:14

I can see why you are disappointed that you are not going but did you expect the rest of the family to not go on a holiday because you can’t?

I think your FIL was wrong in suggesting a holiday unless he was planning on paying for everyone to go. But if he wants to go celebrate his bday with a holiday and others can go then he’s free to do so.