To not tell discuss my Sexually Transmitted Infection with people who may have caught it?

Could you message them from an anonymous FB account instead?

Or fib a little and tell them he admitted he was positive to you but you've got lucky and tested negative but thought they should know anyway.

I disagree with this, if someone knowingly has HIV then they should be disclosing it to their sexual partners so they can make an informed choice on whether or not they consent to that. It’s not about the stigmatisation, as we all know there is medications and provisions you can take nowadays but more so the element of choice of whether you trust that individual enough to have taken their medication properly, regularly and if you yourself are happy to take that small risk. What if the condom broke the the individual didn’t know they may need to go and get some Prep medication or what if they’re immunosuppressive? And the risk of them getting more sick is higher, surely they deserve the chance to consent fully?

I lost my best friend to AIDS in 1993. I have campaigned against the stigma for HIV and AIDS sufferers ever since, I am still outraged that a positive patient, even with no detectable viral load, is still not being upfront and possibly having sex without a condom and without the consent of the other person. They may consent to sex with a healthy person, it doesn't mean they consent to sex with a person with HIV however small the risk to themselves.

It seems people think these days due to the amazing advances in treatments for HIV that it is still not a major disease.

Wouldn't recommend the OP take moral advice from someone who could be friends with a man who doesn't inform his sexual partners of his hiv status. I really hope your friend is at least using condoms and/or taking medication because otherwise he may be breaking the law.

Yeah, sure, no need for consent anymore. What a joke. All it takes is for the person with hiv to get lax with taking their medication and their viral load can become detectable again and able to infect others.

I suspect they mean boulder.

Would you do the same if you saw a boiler rolling down the hill towards them, or if you could see they were about to be scammed.

I know this isn’t the point at all, but just puzzled about a boiler rolling down the hill?

The comments outraged following this comment are suck in the 90s. There is treatment now that makes it impossible to pass it on. There really isnt a need to tell anyone

Jesus Christ it's a minefield out there. I wonder if this man would lie if asked directly?

It is never fine to have sex with anyone when you have any disease without disclosure. It is just wrong.

Depends whether he's contagious or not. Most HIV positive people in the UK who are properly medicated aren't contagious.

Personally I'd err on the side of disclosure but if you've got an undetectable viral load then a lot of people would argue that it's fine not to.

How could you be friends with someone that blasé? How does he justify his POV?

Does he use protection? Does he tell them if they ask if he has an STI/STD?

Wtaf?! Wasn't someone prosecuted for this recently?

I have a friend with HIV and he doesn't tell the people he sleeps with that he has it, so I really think that just telling the person you actually slept with is fine and probably better than average.

Can you make an anonymous Facebook profile and message them? It's really the right thing to do to tell them.

If OP caught it from this man who was sleeping around unsafely with subsequent women and they’re aware they need to be tested as the risk they all have it is high then it nips it before it becomes super spread. Obviously there’s a chance that this man has caught it from one of the women, potentially she’s got no symptoms and so isn’t aware she’s passing it on regardless it’s a vicious cycle where if none get tested regularly or have safe sex someone along the lines will always end up carrying something🤷🏻‍♀️ For me personally I’d rather send the awkward message and let them know that I’m going to get tested as I’m aware both slept with xyz and leave it at that really.

This

I feel for you OP, but please please put your own health first and never ever have unprotected sex in the future with a new partner/one night stand.

HIV is on the rise, and you do not want that! It sounds like you have been lucky (I know it doesn't feel like it now) this time, but unsafe sex is putting your health at serious risk.

I would tell the other women as I would want to know so I can get treated. You don't know who they may be passing it on to as it seems a lot of you may be at risk of catching life changing diseases by not having safe sex.

It's not your problem, it's his problem - unfortunately he sounds like a complete bellend so there's no easy answer.

It’s not your problem. Get yourself better. Ask the clinic if you have to tell your ex partner. If it’s life threatening such as hiv or hepatitis then do tell your ex. I think that the clinic would reach out to him in this case.

Does it matter whether it's your problem? You know that something bad could happen to these people and yet you're happy just to stand by and not warn them.

Would you do the same if you saw a boiler rolling down the hill towards them, or if you could see they were about to be scammed.

It's not your responsibility. Its not your fault. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be a decent person and tell them anyway.

Yes, which is why it’s also on them to use condoms in the first place. If they choose not, they then need to be pro active with regular STI testing.

Their sexual health isn’t OPs responsibility.

It’s on them to get tested regularly if they’re having unprotected sex

Its a bit like couples using the morning after pill to prevent pregnancy.

Prevention is better than cure.

It also prevents the further spread, for those women could go and pass it onto others causing more issues

How do you think OP caught in the first place?