Can't face work after this

Yes this.

I came back from a mat leave to find prized parts of my role had been taken away. Raised it, it got me nowhere.

I had to work (single mum) so got on with it and just focussed on doing a good job. My career eventually leapfrogged the person who had taken my favourite bits of the role and I ended up managing her (and a big department).

This is just one person, in one firm. Whether you grow your role internally or end up moving, there will be lots more chances of you keep looking.

You may also be grateful to progress at a slower pace while your children are small. I am glad now of those few less high profile years while my children were tiny.

This is really good advice! Very well put….
coming back from mat leave is SO hard!! Just take it one step at a time.
Good luck op

@Dimgwaith of course your self-esteem is dented but, you do need to reframe this as others have said. If you get on with your new boss you could probably open up about how you know she will do well and it was the right decision, but you can’t help feeling hurt. You could ask to
go back on the leadership teams/groups so you can learn how she does the role. This can be an opportunity to gain experience without being too pressurised as you make your return. Good luck!

Did you really want it (and the extra stress and responsibility that comes with it) or did you feel you should have it?

The two things aren't the same and it's easy to think we ought to strive for a certain level whether it's the right time or not.

I suspect being above someone you obviously feel is good at a time your confidence is low may have been worse for you in the long term.

Enjoy your little one and make the most of the family friendly policies. Promotion opportunities will come again but you will never get back this time with your child.

Yes you lost out but to a good candidate. Showing you can be a team player is important and this experience will help you manage others when you do reach that level.

Give yourself a day or two to feel sad and then feel relief you don't have to be part of the late meetings when you just want to get home. You are still just as good as before.

In my senior finance career, I have witnessed several "irreplaceable" key directors etc, drop dead in billion dollar businesses.
It was humbling/educational/shocking .....to see how seamlessly things moved on from them
No one is invaluable/irreplaceable.
Those that really get this are ahead of the crowd.

Oh and regarding the whole feeling of being thrown aside by the management team and no longer fawned on by colleagues.....take this as a great life lesson.
Companies 100% suit themselves.
Colleagues are usually people you associate with during work hours.
Those that keep these demarcations clear in their head are very wise IMO.

Great advice to show your mettle, put your best foot forward and learn from her whilst settling in to be a working mother.
How many women grapple with stress and burn out within a year of returning to work. Take this opportunity to learn, adjust and as suggested, play the long game. You have got this.

It’s so disappointing when you feel you’re not on the track you were before mat leave, totally get it, but like others I think you hold your head up high and think of it as a blessing in disguise.

I conceived my second much faster than I expected and therefore had 2 mat leaves in close succession. I was about to go for a promotion at the time (which 8 years and another 2 kids later I am still considering!). In retrospect however if I had gone for that promotion it would have been an absolute NIGHTMARE, I’d have been managing 30 people during covid with a tiny baby and a toddler- can you imagine!!! As a result my career is probably on a different track but my home life is good, I’ve been able to be present for my kids and I still enjoy my job (albeit that I’ve been at the same level for quite a while).

You’ve got a tiny baby, a family and loads on your plate. No one will think any less of you. Plus do you really want to be applying for a new job and starting afresh in a new role where they don’t know you and when your confidence has been dented a bit? Plus objectively she sounds like a pretty good person to learn from and work with- it might be different if she was awful/ a twat! I think you’ll look back on this in even a few months and it won’t be a big deal. As others have said, stay, enjoy your job, learn from the experience and maybe think about moving when the time is right for you.

If you had known what was going to happen and were presented the choices on a plate, would you have chosen a) lovely baby and stable job or b) no baby and promotion?

You have exactly what you would have chosen anyway.

This. Simple but not easy.

Totally get how you are feeling OP, really shit, but Notquite is bang on the money. You have to not take it personally, acknowledge your feelings of disappointment and move on. Benefit from working with this able and pleasant colleague and catch up. You will be more respected for this in the longer run, I'm sure.

It's tough to take, I'm sure, but 10 months is a long time out in a professional role and I think it's always a possibility that things will move on in your absence.

Hope you can come to terms with the current situation in a way that lets you think calmly and logically about what the right next move is, if any, OP.

I so sympathise, must be galling to think this woman wouldn't be usurping your advancement if you'd not gone on maternity leave. What if isn't helpful. It's wonderful your job is flexible now you have a baby.

I've had to let work take a back seat as one of my DC has additional needs and needs me at home after school. It's rough when positions come up that I know I'd be great at but need to be FT and I can't yet.

But it's what is best for your whole family and it's not forever. You'll be in an even stronger position in a few years with the opportunity to learn from your new boss.

Going back to work after mat leave is hard without the added issue you have. Give it some time, settle back in. While I was on mat leave (17 years ago now) they took on 2 new members of staff, I felt like the place had moved on without me. It took me a couple of months to find my feet and settle back in.

100% this!

Promotion aside, as it does seem as though your colleague was better qualified, I don’t think it’s right that you were removed from your senior channels and responsibilities. Would have been removed had you not gone on mat leave? I’m getting discrimination vibes from that and would challenge.

OP, I could have written your post. Before I add my 2 pence worth, I just want to acknowledge what a horrible feeling it is! I totally sympathise with you and whilst you are handling it so well (I can see how kind and considerate you are,) it's OK to feel like it's not fair.
It's been 6 years since that happened to me and now I hardly give it a second thought. At the time, to protect my mental health, I knew that I could offer my skillset and work on the things I wanted to get better at. I didn't want my return to work experience to become bitter so I made the best out of it. I became very close to my mat cover who also got the promotion over me. We work very well together and in turn, she helped nurture my career and became a champion for me when I applied for the next promotion 2 years after coming back.
She has now gone on to have her first child and I felt that I could be there when she came back, ready to help navigate the difficult balance of parent and work.
I don't think there is ever a right time to have a family that wont impact on a career but I do believe you have plenty of opportunities ahead of you.
This is still new and raw. Let it settle, you've got this and they will recognise again how brilliant you are. In the meantime, give that beautiful baby a hug and know that you're not alone, you are brilliant at what you do and that you will make choices that give you career satisfaction again.

This is lovely advice.

Ah fuck OP this is almost identical to me.

I went on Mat leave being one of my directors favourites, glowing feedback etc. When I came back my Mat leave cover who was on FTC stayed on as an additional team member. We then went head to head for the promotion I had been working towards for 4 + years and they gave the job to my Mat leave cover not me. Despite them only having 1 years experience.

I believe it’s because all the senior team thought I was a bad bet as I would have a second baby at some point. I could never prove it. I spoke to pregnant then screwed and then said if we both got interviewed then it was legal. They gave the other person one point higher on the interviewing ratings so they could give them to the job over me.

I couldn’t face staying at the company with so much bitterness so I quit. It still pisses me off years later

This is the very best of MN, a great supportive and realistic answer and a OP that is willing to take heed.

Option C all the way.