To think my little boy is an absolute sweetheart?

I do not believe that @YaMuvva has insulted you or your husband.
You're extrapolating things that are simply not there, and claiming an agenda which only you appear to see.

No I’m not insulting your husband but I won’t be impressed that a parent provides basic care for his kids.

I have also not insulted your children. You’re taking my generic posts personally.

I am however pretty appalled that you are being so judgmental and are also making things up entirely. That’s my problem. You’ve said on other threads you have been judged by other parents (or Judy’s) so I can’t imagine why in turn youd judge a perfectly fine situation. Smacks of “Do as I say not as I do”

@YaMuvva

Ok, so having insulted me and my children, you’re now moving on to my husband?

Yes he lets me and I let him it’s reciprocal. Obviously at least one of us has to be up with the kids and if I want/need to sleep more he’ll be fine with it and I repay the favour.

What’s your issue with other people having a difference of opinion, and why does this provoke you to attack and insult others and be rude?

It tells me a lot about a dynamic when a partner says they have to be given permission to do something and also when they have to spell out that their partner provides base level care to their kids.

It’s even more telling when he’s described as “helping” a (disabled) child have basic level of care. Like it’s up to the kid, or someone else, and he’s doing them a favour.

It’s not a life I emulate I have to say

I do agree with this.
Men should be able to parent their children without it being in any way remarkable or noteworthy.

And how generous of some men to "let" their wives have a lie in. It can't be an equal partnership, when permission has to be sought and granted for such basic stuff.

I can’t even be bothered to explain the complex care system to you and how OT and SWs WILL allow child caters to care for their parents before considering getting a career in.

Who said their 5yo is caring for them?? Has this been said or is it made up?

I know multiple people who have carers from 1 to 3 times a day. How else do you think the elderly and disabled stay in their own homes. Most don't have 5 year olds caring for them they hire adults

I’m referring to her night on the sauce.

I’ve explained already why two not-comatose adults being in the hour but not bearing over a 7yo 24/7 is fine

He let’s you have a lie in?! Lucky you. He dresses his own kids? What a hero!!

because, as OP (who was actually there) has SAID
(unlike you who have made absolutely everything up!)
that her ds was still in the pool at 9.30pm so wouldn't have gone to bed until about 10.15-10.30. Therefore him waking up at about 9.30-9.45, would have been his 11 hours - wow, just like your kids!

He goes downstairs, makes himself a drink and mum one too, then brings it up to her - not wandering around the house alone for hours.

As several posters have said, you seem completely unable to even conceptualise the fact that other families have different routines to yours, let alone the fact that those routines work for them, and aren't automatically inferior just because they don't do exactly what you do.
Sleeping 8pm-7am isn't intrinsically any better or healthier than sleeping 10pm-9am.

I hope your home life isn't as regimented as your thinking, for your kids' sake.

@YaMuvva

OP’s DH was comatose and slept longer than she did, which doesn’t strike me as being available to the children.

If my DH lets me have a lie in he gets up helps kids with breakfast/washing/dressing, takes them to activities and so on.

So just like the OP then?

@Crazedndazed

They have a routine, bed by 8.30 week night, 9.30 on wkend if they want. No pushback or inclination away from this.

Usually they wake up after 10-11hrs so 6.30/7.30 perhaps stirred by DH being up, not sure….

I can’t physically restrain them to the bed, they don’t want to stay there.

@LuckySantangelo35

if I have someone to look after the kids of course!

Yeah, this… did he think you were sick?

I wasn’t actually referring to you but people in general

But that’s your DH, why do the kids need to be up with the larks when he’s going to work

mate your kids are gonna go off the rails big time, lighten up a bit

@Robinni

do you ever just let your hair down? Go a bit wild?

Can you stop with the nastiness @YaMuvva my life is not miserable and you have been consistently insulting towards me.

I put my kids to bed at 8.30 on a school night and 9.30 max on a weekend. And they wake after 10-11hrs. I don’t want to put them to bed later on a regular basis because it’s bad for their development and I don’t need to be dealing with them strung out.

Bore off with being nasty to people.

@Crazedndazed

Yes he works weekends, a lot of people do.

I think mine once slept until about 8.10, the rest of the time it’s 6 - 7.30am max they’re really active, and are never in bed later than 9.30.

I did too. I find it a bit odd when people put their kids to bed so early they’re up at 6am on a weekend. Sounds a miserable life

So what.
I certainly don’t tailor my life to “What if the kids break their spine. I shall behave like this is always d finitely going to happen”. Largely because I’m not a neurotic mess.
A few weeks ago I stayed out til 3am. It was great, no guilt and we all survived the trauma of me not being Mary Poppins the next day.

The OP’s DH was sober. I imagine he’d have taken the broken spine child to hospital if needed. So where exactly is OP being irresponsible??

Even on the weekend? Flip that ain’t no way to live.

but didn’t OP say he was out swimming til 9:30pm so he probably didn’t go to bed til 10/10:30, again this happens on the weekend.

and you can’t imagine, were you never 7? I always loved a lie in

Yep, because she’s been drinking heavily, can’t drive or be fully responsive in that state. 🤷‍♀️

Makes sense to have a sober adult responsible if you can’t be.

That’s my opinion and I won’t be changing it. But you do you.

Because they hasn’t woken up yet?

He was swimming til 9.30 (presumably in a private hired pool, this is what we do fortnightly and sometimes it is late slot) so won’t be home til maybe 10 at the earliest by the time he’s got ready dressed and home. so 11 hours would take you to, at the latest, 9am.

Nothing worse than an Early Morning Snob I have to say.

Yes exactly. Look at the levels of anxiety in teenagers. It’s not normal or healthy and it just so happens to coincide with a generation of helicopter parents