Not to have given up my seat on plane

Not really. It’s not that complicated! Window seats are generally most popular so tend to go first. There are generally random aisle seats available where there are already couples booked in the window and middle.

YANBU

It was fine of her to ask but the minute you said no that should have been the end of it.

Everything after that point and she is be a CF.

Fair enough, but if you prefer that than to actually sitting next to your friend, please consider separate rows so you leave 2 seats free for people who want or need to sit together.

By this logic, every time you pick a seat you should count how many aisles, middles and windows are left, and only select from the type with the largest number still available?

No, I think you're confused and misreading the exchange I was having.

She didn’t wish to sit right next to her, they wished to sit window and aisle, if she’d wished to sit right next to her she’d have booked the middle seat. Are you confused and thinking she’s saying she wanted the middle? I can’t think of any other reason you’d write that.

Every time you book any seat you make one less of that option available!

My friend and I always book a window seat and aisle seat, my friend because she likes the window seat, myself because sitting in the middle seat makes me nauseous and I always need the toilet so it makes sense to book these seats.

This really winds me up!! I always pay for specific seats and would never give up my seat (unless it was a MUCH better seat e.g. in Business Class.
I would be fuming if a flight attendant insisted I move and in your case I would say I have severe claustrophobia and sitting in a middle seat would cause stress, anxiety and travel sickness.

Well obviously! but by doing what OP and her friend have done, it makes one less of that option available.

And contributing to the problem of people ending up not being seated next to travelling companions (though they should pay to reserve seats if they really are bothered about it). That does sound like a contradiction - what I mean is, if lots of people book the aisle and window in the hope of getting the row to themselves and therefore more space, more people who want to reserve seats later or who are only able to check-in/book later will end up separated from those they are travelling with and may try to get people to swap so they can sit next to a child etc.
I'd like to see the airlines introduce something in their seat booking system which means pairs or groups can't split themselves up like this if it means leaving a single seat on its own in the middle somewhere. ie. they have to book window and middle or window and aisle or aisle and aisle next to each other, whatever.
I've booked many concerts online and the majority of the booking systems are set up so that you can't book in a way which leaves a single seat on its own. (ie. if you choose row 3 and there are some other people in it already, you can't book seats with a gap of only one seat between you and the others, has to be two or more seats.

This has just reminded me of one of the times, many years ago, when I travelled alone. I hadn't reserved as seat as didn't need to sit beside anyone so just took what I was assigned at check in. I ended up sitting in the middle seat with an elderly couple split on either side. I didn't even think twice about it, I'm guessing one liked the view and the other preferred more legroom/being able to get to the toilet easily.
It's a non-issue, if you're adamant you're not sitting in the middle, potentially between 2 people who know each other, reserve a seat.

If you want to sit with your friend, book a middle seat plus aisle or window 🤷‍♀️

I pay to book a seat - aisle or window - because honestly, who likes the middle seat?

The only people who would like a middle seat are those who want to sit next to the person they are travelling with. By choosing an aisle and window in the same row, OP and her friend are not only choosing the most desirable seats, but also preventing the only people who would choose a middle seat from doing so.

I was travelling recently- my husband had aisle seat with extra legroom and I was at aisle one row behind him on opposite side - no one was sitting in 2 seats next to me . A family got on and I heard the mum say that the travel agent had booked her young daughter in the aisle seat opposite her and her husband with baby behind her. The flight attendant said take their allocated seats and they would sort when everyone got on. I could hear them discussing where to swap people when I realised the aisle seat behind me was empty- I offered to move as it meant the family would have 3 seats to sit together. They were taken aback and very grateful. When the food / drink trolley arrived my husband turned round and asked me what I wanted. The steward had thought I was travelling alone and didn’t realise I had moved away from my husband. I got my drinks and snacks free as a thank you. The family were lovely and did not demand to sit together and thanked me for allowing their children to sleep across them.

It’s not anti social to book window and aisle. If it was airlines would say passengers had to be seated together. Most folks don’t sit and chat all the way. Different if you’re with a kid or have a fear of flying or something, but it’s perfectly acceptable to book and pay for the seats you wish.

It hadn't occurred to me before that it was antisocial to book the window and aisle seats of the same row, but I can't remember the last time I travelled on the same flight with someone I knew, so I've just never had cause to consider that sort of booking.

I pay to book a seat - aisle or window - because honestly, who likes the middle seat?

I wouldn't swap as I would have paid for my seat. Plus, I get priority boarding to clean my own seating area as an allergy sufferer, so moving defeats that purpose.

(I have mixed feelings about this. I don't think it's right that someone with an allergy is expected to possibly touch an allergen - the plane should be cleaned between uses. I suppose the logic is if I get on first and clean it myself, if there's an allergen from a previous flight and I react, they can take me off the plane before it's due to take off.)

@ouch321 I am not the most confident flyer and planning for all eventualities is part of my flight routine - where are the exits which way will I go etc. I have been on long haul flights in the past (KLM and some American airlines) before online booking where we have pitched up at check-in (always in very good time) and my four children have been scattered all over the plane. I find that extremely stressful because who is going to help them put on their oxygen masks and how am I going to get to them all if we have to evacuate.

I know rationally it's not likely to happen but having mothers going in the opposite direction to get to their kids would create chaos (because I know I wouldn't get off the plane without them)and is bad health and safety planning by the airline and I genuinely don't think it should be allowed - they have a duty of care for children and they should have to be sat with a parent. I have also had one of my daughters put in between two men when she was 14 and made sexual advances to.

It is much less stressful now you can book seats online in advance and I only fly with airlines where I can do that.

That said, I have had some lovely people offer to swap seats in the past but I have never ever demanded anyone do so. Usually just saying if you don't want to be sat in the middle next to this four year old for 11 hours my daughter has a nice window seat you could have does the trick!

Exactly. If you care, pay for the seat you want. But if you don't pre-book, don't moan about it and insist other people accommodate you.

But airlines seem to deliberately separate families to force them to pay.

Nah, if you paid for that seat you get to sit in it. So many entitled people around who don't want to pay the extra money and then get arsey when people don't want to swap. The whole point of paying is to get a particular seat. The extra cost is usually very little compared to the price of an airline ticket these days and worth paying if you are bothered about where you sit in the plane. If you aren't bothered, then don't pay, but don't expect others to move.
It's the people who are bothered about where they sit and won't pay the money who really piss me off.

People asking why people book an aisle and a window leaving the middle seat free when travelling together... not saying this is the case with the OP but I think a lot of people have seen travel hacks on tiktok suggesting if you do this it's likely you'll end up with a row to yourself because no one wants the middle seat.
If you aren't going to talk to each other at all and pass snacks to each other etc, then fair enough, but I think it's anti-social to book seats like that and then talk over the person in the middle seat.

@Bushwhacked20

They charge if you want to reserve a seat ahead of check in, at check in (24 hours before you fly) it is free.

@itsgettingweird itsgettingweird · Today 07:55
Yanbu.

You paid for the seat. She had the same option.

I am against this paying though as you didn't use to have to.

I refuse to pay. I travel with my disabled son and so if they don't want to piss off other passengers to being an unpaid carer for him then put me there!

This is an insane and really selfish attitude if you have a disabled son. It's more important than ever for him than you sit together if his needs are such that you think a passenger might be an upaid carer!

You say 'they don't want to piss off other passengers to being an upaid carer for him". Plenty of people just wouldn't get involved and ignore him. Why do you think anyone would become a carer for your son.

The fact that you are against paying because you never used to is a ridiculous argument. You never used to have to pay vehicle excise duty or even have a driving licence. That's not a reason to not do it now!!

No one wants to pay for this sort of thing but it's now the business model and has been for years - you want a guaranteed place next to someone, you have to pay. Otherwise you are selfishly gambling on the goodwill of other people - you may be lucky, but what if you aren't? Your son loses out at the cost of what £30 or £40 ?

You are just being a cheapskate at the expense of other people which is very unfair and probably stressful. Every time you will be involved in confrontations of this sort because you will always be asking people to move at their inconvenience. It's just a bit nasty and distasteful. I feel sorry for your son as it must stress him out.

Well, that's the nature of flying. The number of seats is limited. Given how many people don't take the option to reserve seats, it's reasonable to conclude that for many people, the cost isn't worth it and they'd rather risk being sat somewhere that isn't ideal. It's a bus with wings at the end of the day.

Of course you are not being unreasonable but did you really not speak to your friend at all before she asked you to swop? How would she know you were together? I've had the scenario of friends booking a &c in the hope b remained vacant and it wasn't pleasant, passing Pringles across and yes I asked if they wanted to swop ... I think they realised they were making me uncomfortable and did.