Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Giving grandchildren different amounts of inheritance

257 replies

Darinki · 25/05/2024 23:52

Good evening all,
I am posting on behalf of a friend who isn’t massively tech literate but is seeking advice, obviously she will get professional advice but it is causing a lot of worry and I want to give her some opinions to help in decision making, she knows I am posting and has encouraged it.

My friend is in her 70s, she’s recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, her husband passed away in 2022.
She had two children, one passed away many years ago the other is in his mid 50s. She has 3 grandchildren, 2 are her sons and 1 is her late daughters. They are all between 18-22.

When it comes to assets all she really has is her house, she got a valuation done recently and it was was around 1.2 mil. She also has some cash savings but she suspects these will be spent on care as her condition worsens.
She has already spoke to her son and he has suggested when she re-writes her will they just skip a generation and go straight to the 3 grandchildren.
Her daughters daughter got inheritance from her mum, she owns property in London worth around 700k at 22 so not doing badly at all, she also has no student debt.
Her sons children will have student debt and other than small savings from their parents no house deposit etc.
Her son thinks because of this the inheritance should be split 10/45/45 or similar. This would still be say £100,000 if not a little more to the cousin who owns property already, but it would also give his 2 children the opportunity to buy a better property. They all live in the London/SE area so housing is expensive!
My friend however is worried that this is unfair on her granddaughter, and is getting herself very stressed trying to decide. She sees merit in both arguments.
so
YABU - It should be equal they all deserve the same
YANBU - It makes sense to give those who have less now more

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Allthehorsesintheworld · 26/05/2024 08:31

I’d have to split equally.
GD only has money because her mum died. Son’s dc will also inherit from him in time so split in 3 equally is fair.

NeedToKnow101 · 26/05/2024 08:31

Equally. Or she gets her mother's 50% and the son gets 50% and can give that to his children.

HashB · 26/05/2024 08:26

Poor granddaughter.
The Most important fact isn’t that she gained a £700k flat, it’s that her mum died really young.
Again her grandmother’s inheritance isn’t about the monetary value either, it’s about how her granddaughter would feel to know she’s been seen as deserving only 10% for whatever reason but that her cousins deserve considerably more.

My god, I absolutely hate wills and how money grabby people get about them.

Better yet tell your friend to sell her house and blow £1.2m on experiences of a lifetime!

Lovelyview · 26/05/2024 08:24

Split equally between the three grandkids. As others have said the son's kids will inherit from him when he dies. Hope your friend is not feeling too pressured op. She can keep the contents of her will private.

Ineffable23 · 26/05/2024 08:19

1/3 each would seem like a compromise that gives the son's children plenty of help but without leaving the niece hard done by.

360k is plenty of money, though presumably there will be IHT on that.

ittakes2 · 26/05/2024 08:14

Splitting it three ways between grandkids is more than his children would have got if she split it evenly between her two kids.
seriously this granddaughter has lost her mum she does not need to feel her grandmother thinks she’s worth less than her other two grandkids due to her uncles greed.

greenpolarbear · 26/05/2024 08:14

She needs to think about the fact that the grandchildren will see it as how much they're loved, not the value of the money. The granddaughter will be thinking that she loves the others more.

Elsewhere123 · 26/05/2024 08:08

She has a will that may have been agreed with her late husband. Honour his wishes and leave her will as it is. She avoids stress.

max29 · 26/05/2024 08:07

50/50 is fairest split as others have said for the reasons stated. I hope she is not influenced by him. He is being selfish and greedy.

CormorantStrikesBack · 26/05/2024 08:05

What a nasty uncle her son is, poor girl has lost her mother. Even without that loss what he’s suggesting is unfair. She should either split it equally or give half to the granddaughter and 25% to each of the others.

DomPom47 · 26/05/2024 08:02

1.2million with inheritance tax etc divided by 3 will give the two grandkids a very large deposit so think her son is unfair in the way he would like the house value divided.

Vettrianofan · 26/05/2024 07:55

6pence · 25/05/2024 23:55

Fairly split. It’s the only way.

This. I just don't think it's fair to not split such a massive amount equally between all three DGC.

ClonedSquare · 26/05/2024 07:51

Equal split is the best way, and even then they're better off than they would be under most wills.

The son is a CF. Under the terms of many wills, his sons would get 25% of the assets each (half goes to their dad, then it's divided between the two of them). So by skipping a generation and giving each grandchild an equal share, his kids are already better off than they usually would be.

To demand more on top of that is ultimate CFery.

sososotocvfgft · 26/05/2024 07:50

Ponderingwindow · 25/05/2024 23:57

I would give half to the granddaughter and then give half to the son. That way she is splitting the money equally between her two children.

Her son can forward his portion to his children if he wishes

Yes this.

Any other way will likely have a devastating affect on your family.

Your GD is MASSIVELY disadvantaged to lose her mother so young. If you further disadvantage her by not passing down an equal share then I have no words.

Your Dson is a CF.

SpongeBob2022 · 26/05/2024 07:49

I would do either 50% son and 50% granddaughter or 33% per grandchild. I definitely would not do what your son suggests.

NDornotND · 26/05/2024 07:48

My sister died young. My parents had four children and have written their will so that their assets are split 4 ways - quarter to each of their surviving children and a quarter to their granddaughter whose mum died. That seems fair to me. Your friend's son is being unreasonable.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 26/05/2024 07:46

Actually, if doing it that day the daughters daughter should get 50% (daughters share) and the sons kids shouldn't get 25% each (daughters share). He's being completely outrageous......

*25% each (sons share)

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 26/05/2024 07:44

Actually, if doing it that day the daughters daughter should get 50% (daughters share) and the sons kids shouldn't get 25% each (daughters share). He's being completely outrageous......

Jeezitneverends · 26/05/2024 07:43

Ponderingwindow · 25/05/2024 23:57

I would give half to the granddaughter and then give half to the son. That way she is splitting the money equally between her two children.

Her son can forward his portion to his children if he wishes

This would be the fairest thing to do

andthat · 26/05/2024 07:42

caringcarer · 26/05/2024 00:59

Son is advocating for his 2 DS's whilst poor DGD has no parent left to advocate for her.

This

andthat · 26/05/2024 07:40

Darinki · 25/05/2024 23:52

Good evening all,
I am posting on behalf of a friend who isn’t massively tech literate but is seeking advice, obviously she will get professional advice but it is causing a lot of worry and I want to give her some opinions to help in decision making, she knows I am posting and has encouraged it.

My friend is in her 70s, she’s recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, her husband passed away in 2022.
She had two children, one passed away many years ago the other is in his mid 50s. She has 3 grandchildren, 2 are her sons and 1 is her late daughters. They are all between 18-22.

When it comes to assets all she really has is her house, she got a valuation done recently and it was was around 1.2 mil. She also has some cash savings but she suspects these will be spent on care as her condition worsens.
She has already spoke to her son and he has suggested when she re-writes her will they just skip a generation and go straight to the 3 grandchildren.
Her daughters daughter got inheritance from her mum, she owns property in London worth around 700k at 22 so not doing badly at all, she also has no student debt.
Her sons children will have student debt and other than small savings from their parents no house deposit etc.
Her son thinks because of this the inheritance should be split 10/45/45 or similar. This would still be say £100,000 if not a little more to the cousin who owns property already, but it would also give his 2 children the opportunity to buy a better property. They all live in the London/SE area so housing is expensive!
My friend however is worried that this is unfair on her granddaughter, and is getting herself very stressed trying to decide. She sees merit in both arguments.
so
YABU - It should be equal they all deserve the same
YANBU - It makes sense to give those who have less now more

Thoughts?

So the daughter’s daughter loses out because her mother died?

Thar would be incredibly hurtful.

Three way, equal split is the only way to go!

Sunnysummer24 · 26/05/2024 07:38

Either 33% each per grandchild or 50% to son and 50% to grand daughter.

Her grand children of her son with surely inherent from him when he dies.

Gorgonemilezola · 26/05/2024 07:37

Split 3 ways between grandchildren (even this is a bit unfair in respect of 2/3 then going to one 'branch of the family, so GD is losing out because her mother died) or 50/50 to son and GD.

Would also suggest she does not make her son executor as he seems greedy. Leave it with a solicitor.

Glittertwins · 26/05/2024 07:36

And yes, per previous posters, what a horrible thing that has been forced on your friend. I hope she can have a more peaceful path.

Glittertwins · 26/05/2024 07:34

Equal split between the grandchildren seems the fairest way. There will always be minor inequalities in life- should one DGC get less because they might not go to university and therefore not have loans to repay?
My DPs have skipped our generation and have split equally between our DCs.