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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandparent moves grandchild to another country

131 replies

ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:20

AIBU to think that this should not be allowed to happen?
My mother has taken my daughter without my permission to another country meaning that she can’t easily see me or her siblings.
I am a kind, gentle, caring mother and AIBU to think that this is against human rights?

OP posts:
WalkingaroundJardine · 25/05/2024 22:03

I would notify Social Services and let them know that you didn’t agree to the child being permanently relocated to a new country (if not a holiday)
If your child is under 18, then grandma can’t remove her under the rules of The Hague Convention.

MaidOfBondStreet · 25/05/2024 22:03

It will be a nice break for her to have a holiday abroad. Relax and enjoy the time off!!

Marianus · 25/05/2024 22:03

You’re lying by omission

Itsnamechange · 25/05/2024 22:00

ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:58

@Marianus
I am being honest

No you aren’t. You haven’t said what you were accused of, what process was followed to remove your child, if it’s permanent, if not how your mother was able to take your child out of the country, how you have contact with your child.
What advice are you looking for here?

Original poster
ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:58

@Marianus
I am being honest

OP posts:
MigGirl · 25/05/2024 21:58

It can be the case that a child is removed from a parent but subsequent children are not. It could be that if you are deemed capable of parenting your other children that you could get custody back, but I believe this can be difficult and you would need league advice.

Unfortunately you can't stop your mother moving with your child if she has parental responsibility.

Kitkat1523 · 25/05/2024 21:57

ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:54

@LIZS
yes I have PR.

Did you sign a section 20? Or was your child removed following a court order?

Roundroundthegarden · 25/05/2024 21:57

Why all the half stories op? Can't you just state the story if you want help?

DoreenonTill8 · 25/05/2024 21:56

AnneLovesGilbert · 25/05/2024 21:54

Does she have a different dad to your other kids? Why aren’t you including any ages or timeframes if you want advice? How are you in touch with DD?

Just what I was going to ask, is she and the siblings still with you full siblings?

Marianus · 25/05/2024 21:56

Nobody here can help you unless you’re honest, which you’re not being at the moment.

BMW6 · 25/05/2024 21:56

No woman should have a child taken for her for no reason. I don’t know why they let her take her from me

Of course it shouldn't happen, but you've answered the Why yourself - because they all believed what your Mum/DD was accusing you of.

I don't know if there's anything you can do to overturn their decision. I think you may need to accept what is and let it go, for your (and your other children's) sake.

Kitkat1523 · 25/05/2024 21:56

Is your child classed as ‘looked after’ ?….If so PR will likely be shared and children’s services will be the corporate parent?

or does your Mum have an SGO ( special guardianship order) in which case she will have PR and has more rights.

AnneLovesGilbert · 25/05/2024 21:54

Does she have a different dad to your other kids? Why aren’t you including any ages or timeframes if you want advice? How are you in touch with DD?

Original poster
ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:54

@LIZS
yes I have PR.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 25/05/2024 21:53

There is no way that she was given custody without you knowing why.

The judgement will list the reasons why, you’d have been through a court case, given evidence, been cross examined.

You are being dishonest.

Original poster
ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:53

@BMW6
my daughter says me misses me a lot and wishes I were closer to her.
That’s one very good reason why I won’t just let it go thanks for the advice but sorry I can’t take the advice

OP posts:
LIZS · 25/05/2024 21:53

Do you have Parental Responsibility?

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 25/05/2024 21:52

maybe for starters @ChirpyBiscuit tell us what age she is.
what avenue to follow will be different for a young baby, a school aged child or a teen.
is the out of country experience new/unusual, is it a planned trip during school break or is it more permanent?

TraitorsGate · 25/05/2024 21:51

We can't give advice without knowing more really. If she needed your permission then you can call the police.

Original poster
ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:50

@SleepingStandingUp
yes she was awarded custody I don’t know why they listened to her lies. The whole court case was a joke against me. Social services didn’t listen to me. What I find really strange is that my daughter who lives with my mother now, her siblings live with me and they say they don’t like grandma. That’s another reason why I think the whole thing is against human rights. No woman should have a child taken for her for no reason. I don’t know why they let her take her from me

OP posts:
BMW6 · 25/05/2024 21:50

Well if your mum has legal custody - however she got it - I suppose your only recourse is via the Courts, but I imagine that would be very difficult if the legal system awarded custody to mum in the first place years ago.

I'm sorry but on the face of it I think you will have to let it go and concentrate on the children remaining with you.

Merryoldgoat · 25/05/2024 21:49

It still makes no sense. Why is your daughter with her in the first place? Why haven’t you seen her?

IceCreamWoes · 25/05/2024 21:46

What lies did she tell SS, and how old is she?

Original poster
ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:46

@Merryoldgoat sorry because it’s a sensitive issue it’s about my daughter it’s difficult to talk about it but I need advice

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 25/05/2024 21:44

How old is she op? Are you saying she was awarded custody? Have you spoken to social services?