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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandparent moves grandchild to another country

131 replies

ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:20

AIBU to think that this should not be allowed to happen?
My mother has taken my daughter without my permission to another country meaning that she can’t easily see me or her siblings.
I am a kind, gentle, caring mother and AIBU to think that this is against human rights?

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 26/05/2024 00:11

ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:50

@SleepingStandingUp
yes she was awarded custody I don’t know why they listened to her lies. The whole court case was a joke against me. Social services didn’t listen to me. What I find really strange is that my daughter who lives with my mother now, her siblings live with me and they say they don’t like grandma. That’s another reason why I think the whole thing is against human rights. No woman should have a child taken for her for no reason. I don’t know why they let her take her from me

Courts don't remove children and award custody to someone else without proof of serious problems being present.

Courts generally like to keep the status quo from what I've heard, and always act in the best interests of the child/ren.

Sometimes one child in a family does get singled out.

When the Daughter is 18, she will be able to make her own choices- and will be free to see you if she wishes.

Shan5474 · 26/05/2024 00:10

What lies did your mother tell to social services and in the court case?

TheShellBeach · 26/05/2024 00:10

You're omitting some vital information.

Kitkat1523 · 25/05/2024 23:38

MariaLuna · 25/05/2024 23:35

Reunite | International Child Abduction Centre | Child Abduction Charity

Except nobody has been abducted 🙄

WalkingaroundJardine · 25/05/2024 23:28

Kitkat1523 · 25/05/2024 23:09

Are you in the U.K.? Or a different country?
if the GM has an SGO ( special guardian ship order) in the U.K. it will be court granted by a judge ….the terms of this will override any SS involvement

the Op will have been represented by a barrister at the time the GM was awarded custody

Show quote history

Ah - thanks for that info - I stand corrected if that’s the type of order the GM has.

Kitkat1523 · 25/05/2024 23:09

WalkingaroundJardine · 25/05/2024 22:58

I don’t think this is necessarily correct and the OP should get legal advice.

Social services are very big on “open adoptions” which means ongoing contact and connection with biological parents who have had their rights terminated. Unless the children were fully legally adopted by the grandma as opposed to kinship guardianship, she can’t just permanently remove the child to another country if under 18 without SS authority.

Show quote history

Are you in the U.K.? Or a different country?
if the GM has an SGO ( special guardian ship order) in the U.K. it will be court granted by a judge ….the terms of this will override any SS involvement

the Op will have been represented by a barrister at the time the GM was awarded custody

ilovepixie · 25/05/2024 23:03

You're not making sense. Either your mother has legal custody of your daughter and you would have to go through the courts to get this rescinded.
Or your mother doesn't have legal custody therefore she has kidnapped your daughter and you get the police involved.

Merryoldgoat · 25/05/2024 23:00

Please can I have a link to the dad-car thread?

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 25/05/2024 22:59

My daughter’s siblings still live with me.

This is very odd way of putting it.

WalkingaroundJardine · 25/05/2024 22:58

Kitkat1523 · 25/05/2024 22:06

Of course she fucking can if she has PR ….which OP says she has custody

Show quote history

I don’t think this is necessarily correct and the OP should get legal advice.

Social services are very big on “open adoptions” which means ongoing contact and connection with biological parents who have had their rights terminated. Unless the children were fully legally adopted by the grandma as opposed to kinship guardianship, she can’t just permanently remove the child to another country if under 18 without SS authority.

Crumpetsssss · 25/05/2024 22:51

Marianus · 25/05/2024 22:35

I need to know what this is

Show quote history

It’s really best not to. She’s infuriatingly compelling, or compellingly infuriating. I’m not sure which 😂

Starlightstarbright3 · 25/05/2024 22:37

CandyLeBonBon · 25/05/2024 22:11

It sounds like far too complex a situation for AIBU. You need proper advice.

This is exactly my thoughts . Your daughter’s age , what the courts have accepted . Was you given ways of Dd returning to your custody . Is she in a question with in hague convention.

Do you have contact regular contact?

Marianus · 25/05/2024 22:35

Crumpetsssss · 25/05/2024 22:31

Are you the Australian poster? Who blames her dad for not selling a car?

I need to know what this is

DoreenonTill8 · 25/05/2024 22:33

Crumpetsssss · 25/05/2024 22:31

Are you the Australian poster? Who blames her dad for not selling a car?

Oh. Quite, that was exhausting just to read that thread.

AnneLovesGilbert · 25/05/2024 22:31

Crumpetsssss · 25/05/2024 22:31

Are you the Australian poster? Who blames her dad for not selling a car?

Oh god, maybe

Crumpetsssss · 25/05/2024 22:31

Are you the Australian poster? Who blames her dad for not selling a car?

Kitkat1523 · 25/05/2024 22:25

SD1978 · 25/05/2024 22:20

Are you supposed to have visitation? You make it sound as if you have some kind of contact if she's expressed on the phone she wants to see you- how old is she? You can always ask social service if the move was allowed- how long ago did it happen?

What you expecting children’s service to do? ….it was the family Courts who gave the GM custody….the mother will have had her own barrister….the DD will have had a guardian allocated to ensure her best interests …. The DD is legally placed in the care of the GM

SD1978 · 25/05/2024 22:20

Are you supposed to have visitation? You make it sound as if you have some kind of contact if she's expressed on the phone she wants to see you- how old is she? You can always ask social service if the move was allowed- how long ago did it happen?

ifeelquiteboring · 25/05/2024 22:11

DoreenonTill8 · 25/05/2024 22:11

Is the threshold for removal of parental rights not quite high?
But the fact that op is more worried about her rights and not her daughters well being is quite odd.

It is very high so high.

It's not about the child it's about the poster. She's made that clear

DoreenonTill8 · 25/05/2024 22:11

Is the threshold for removal of parental rights not quite high?
But the fact that op is more worried about her rights and not her daughters well being is quite odd.

CandyLeBonBon · 25/05/2024 22:11

It sounds like far too complex a situation for AIBU. You need proper advice.

TraitorsGate · 25/05/2024 22:07

Can you have pr if granny has been awarded custody. How old is dd. How are you in contact with each other and know she misses you

Kitkat1523 · 25/05/2024 22:06

WalkingaroundJardine · 25/05/2024 22:03

I would notify Social Services and let them know that you didn’t agree to the child being permanently relocated to a new country (if not a holiday)
If your child is under 18, then grandma can’t remove her under the rules of The Hague Convention.

Edited

Of course she fucking can if she has PR ….which OP says she has custody

BMW6 · 25/05/2024 22:04

Well I Googled and it seems if you have PR then you could apply to the Courts for custody, but as the Courts have already awarded Custody to your Mum I guess that ship has sailed - a long time ago as you have said.

When your DD is over 18 she will have the rights as an adult to see you as much as she likes.

How old is she now?