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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandparent moves grandchild to another country

131 replies

ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:20

AIBU to think that this should not be allowed to happen?
My mother has taken my daughter without my permission to another country meaning that she can’t easily see me or her siblings.
I am a kind, gentle, caring mother and AIBU to think that this is against human rights?

OP posts:
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Rachie1973 · 28/05/2024 23:37

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 26/05/2024 15:21

yes she was awarded custody I don’t know why

Yes you do. Until you confront that face to face, nothing will change.

Yup. Our court bundle for removal is 5 inches thick and topped with a ‘threshold document’ explaining the reasoning.

tensmum1964 · 26/05/2024 19:37

Fraaahnces · 26/05/2024 10:00

If you have parental rights, apply to the Geneva Convention (assuming she is in Europe) and have her returned to the country you all lived in. Have grandmother charged with kidnapping. Call the bloody police and start there.

Read the thread. No kidnapping has taken place. The court has ordered that grandparents have custody and given how hard social services try to keep children with their parents, it was probably for good reason.

Otherstories2002 · 26/05/2024 16:33

ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:41

I will try to give more context. I haven’t seen her for a long time neither have her siblings because my mother and my daughter are now so far away and I’m scared of my mother. I don’t want to go anywhere near my mother.
My mother has a narcissist personality and has managed to lie about me to my daughter. She’s manipulated my daughter and managed to get social services to believe her lies. My daughter’s siblings still live with me.
It might be difficult for you to believe what I’m saying, however, if you’ve had experience with someone like my mother you would believe it could happen

The only way this has happened is if you have had your parental rights removed. And we all know that’s a thing of rarity.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 26/05/2024 15:21

yes she was awarded custody I don’t know why

Yes you do. Until you confront that face to face, nothing will change.

HcbSS · 26/05/2024 14:36

The child will have been removed for a reason. Whose human rights are you worried about? Yours? Perhaps you forfeited those when you failed to safeguard your child.

Nanaof1 · 26/05/2024 13:39

@TheShellBeach Thank you!

TabithaTimeTurner · 26/05/2024 13:36

OhmygodDont · 26/05/2024 09:07

Going on a limb here

Dd is the oldest child, op was a “poor” parent Im trying to be kind. Granny got custody and Pr. Op eventually turns her life around, has more children but oldest remains with granny as it’s been so long. Granny moves with child as per legally allowed as she’s in the eyes of the law her parent basically.

Ops pissed she wasn’t asked even though she has no rights to that child and hasn’t for a long time.

That’s exactly what I thought.

OP if you want help you need to come back and answer the questions.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 26/05/2024 13:35

I am guessing your daughter's siblings have a different father/s to your daughter.

SOxon · 26/05/2024 13:16

flogging a dead horse here, chums !

FTPM1980 · 26/05/2024 13:06

TheShellBeach · 26/05/2024 11:56

This might be it:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/aussie-nz-mumsnetters/4992287-unjust-custody-situation

If it is the same poster then it doesn't tie in with what is described here.....but to be honest none of it seems particularly believable.

FTPM1980 · 26/05/2024 12:50

ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:50

@SleepingStandingUp
yes she was awarded custody I don’t know why they listened to her lies. The whole court case was a joke against me. Social services didn’t listen to me. What I find really strange is that my daughter who lives with my mother now, her siblings live with me and they say they don’t like grandma. That’s another reason why I think the whole thing is against human rights. No woman should have a child taken for her for no reason. I don’t know why they let her take her from me

That's not true
You do know....you just think its lies
But the reasons were given in court and will have been explained to you.

This whole thread is very odd

EddieMunson · 26/05/2024 12:38

ApolloandDaphne · 26/05/2024 12:28

How old is your daughter?

I’m going to guess that the daughter is 35

ApolloandDaphne · 26/05/2024 12:28

How old is your daughter?

Sunnysummer24 · 26/05/2024 12:19

ChirpyBiscuit · 25/05/2024 21:50

@SleepingStandingUp
yes she was awarded custody I don’t know why they listened to her lies. The whole court case was a joke against me. Social services didn’t listen to me. What I find really strange is that my daughter who lives with my mother now, her siblings live with me and they say they don’t like grandma. That’s another reason why I think the whole thing is against human rights. No woman should have a child taken for her for no reason. I don’t know why they let her take her from me

Social service can’t romove a child. A judge makes that decision based on representation of both social services and the parents. It’s never done for no reason and the bar is set very high. Too high in my opinion.

There is no way your child was removed without any reasons given. You may disagree with those reasons but they would have been given.

Stompythedinosaur · 26/05/2024 12:15

I think a lot depends on the legal situation, who has PR, whether there is an SGO in place etc.

My understanding (assuming you re in the UK and the grandparent has an SGO in place) they can take the child overseas for up to 3 months without your permission, even if you have PR.

Seek legal device to be certain, though.

DoreenonTill8 · 26/05/2024 12:07

Think that's it @TheShellBeach ! Good skills!

DoreenonTill8 · 26/05/2024 11:55

I think it disappeared as a 'this isn't helping the op' reason!

TheShellBeach · 26/05/2024 11:52

Nanaof1 · 26/05/2024 11:32

Can you link to that thread? I am so totally lost on this thread, I could use a map and flashlight.

Show quote history

I've been trying to find it myself, without success.

PinkyFlamingo · 26/05/2024 11:46

Why aren't you saying why your Mum has custody apart from telling lies?

Nanaof1 · 26/05/2024 11:32

TheShellBeach · 26/05/2024 10:53

Yes, what was all that about?

Show quote history

Can you link to that thread? I am so totally lost on this thread, I could use a map and flashlight.

LemonTT · 26/05/2024 11:31

Fraaahnces · 26/05/2024 10:00

If you have parental rights, apply to the Geneva Convention (assuming she is in Europe) and have her returned to the country you all lived in. Have grandmother charged with kidnapping. Call the bloody police and start there.

It is exceptionally rare for parental responsibility to be taken away from a birth parent. It doesn’t mean that another parent or guardian isn’t responsible for their care and upbringing. Since this issue has been through the court and they have ordered she lives with her Grandmother then it is likely she has other rights about international travel. Like anyone with a lives with order.

needsomewarmsunshine · 26/05/2024 11:04

There's a lot more to this than OP is telling us. I wonder if she'll come back and answer any questions that may help.
I find it strange it seems to be more about her than the welfare of her dd.
Where is dad in all of this and does he get a say?
Why is OP unable to take advice on anything? [unless I missed something]].

DoreenonTill8 · 26/05/2024 10:58

TheShellBeach · 26/05/2024 10:53

Yes, what was all that about?

Show quote history

For the OP, it was all about the car she was PROMISED and didnt get!! Everything that's ever went wrong came back to that! 🙄

TheShellBeach · 26/05/2024 10:53

DuskyEvenings · 26/05/2024 10:51

I think this poster is in Australia and posted a very long thread that was strange to say the least.

Yes, what was all that about?