Another mum telling my child off

I really could not get myself worked up by my 7 year old being hit by a baby... I would just tell him to stay away (then again I have 4 boys under 10 so a smack in the face from a baby doesn't seem crazy to me 😂).

She should NEVER has touched your child. But you have to accept some accountability here and if this kid of yours is reacting to innocent incidents with smacking other kids across the face and is developmentally delayed you shouldn't be leaving him on his own in the soft play. Just because he is older, doesn't make it ok. You have to stay with him and guide him. I would have said something to your kid if he smacked mine. Simple as!!!! You need to do more so that doesn't happen

Why would you assume no SEN when the OP's first post says
DS has some delays and after his 2 year review they are looking at getting us some support because it's clear he has a development delay and possibly could be on the spectrum for ASD.

I don't actually think it changes anything in terms of his need to be supervised but come on, at least read what an OP has to say before starting on the insults!

I now realise there’s been a bit of drip feeding going on; son is 1, not yet 2, therefore likely isn’t hitting very hard. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that him being left unsupervised - and he was unsupervised -is at all ok. Your son is 1 and a hitter. A soft play is no time for learning independence, given his age.

You should have grabbed her arm and told her to back off, see if she took kindly to that.

You need to say gently but firmly and often when hitting attempts happen, “hands are not for hitting, hitting hurts, we don’t hit”.

The other mum was clearly unreasonable with the man-handling, but (and not condoning the manhandling with this) i question how hard your son hit the girl.

Also, I’m afraid that I don’t believe you that you were ‘close by’ - you were observing from a distance. You weren’t supervising him. If you were supervising him, all of this wouldn’t have had the chance to happen to the level it did - particularly the other mum storming in. I say that as the mum 2 under 4 who is fed up of other parents not supervising their children in soft plays.

Funnily enough, one of mine got hit at a soft play by an older child today, but I was right there to have a word with the older child… Then later witnessed a young child being hit multiple times by the same culprit - neither parent of the two other children were in sight the entire time we were there.

You were the unreasonable one.

You saw that your 2-year-old was sitting at the end of the slide, which no child needs to be sitting at the end of the slide blocking it.

But instead of getting up to move your child out of the way, you were likely just sitting there playing on your phone.

Your child got some consequences which you are too wet to give.

My guess is that he won't be taking a swing at anybody anymore, and that's a good thing

Basic common sense was clearly not applied.

Close supervision is essential with a hitter.

Far closer supervision required if he is liable to react with hitting.

She grabbed him by the arm ffs, she didn't hit him. Get a grip.

Oh FFS! Assuming there’s no SEN you should be parenting your own child and supervising him if you know he behaves like that. Parents like you are exactly what is wrong with society! My DC were two once but they never smacked other kids. If they had then I would have been mortified and taken them home after I’d apologised profusely.

This type of nonsense gentle hands off (I obviously do not mean that in a physical sense, before you start clutching at straws) laissez-faire parenting is why so many children nowadays have these sorts of behavioural issues. If people don’t want to parent, they shouldn’t have kids. Children smacking other people is NOT “normal” and should never be written off as such, no matter how badly you or OP want to make yourselves feel better. “My child hits others but it’s fine, that’s just normal for some kids” is something you’ll only ever get away with around other parents who can’t control their undisciplined kids, I regret to tell you.

If you know he lashes out then unfortunately you have to be right beside him. You can't let others be hit.

I missed out the probable main reason for things getting better - my son has gotten older and naturally matured!

Of course a two year old can be disciplined, but it absolutely is NOT something a total stranger should be doing. And certainly not in a physical way!!
Also - with all the supervision in the world - a toddler will still sometimes hit out before your brain has even bad chance to register what is happening.
@WarriorPrincess24 My son did this a lot when he first started walking. I used to worry so much about other children (and their carers). 1. Because I didn't want my son to hurt anyone, and 2. Because I felt like there was something 'wrong' (for lack of a better word) developmentally. Until I realised that a child lashing out is absolutely a "normal" occurrence. Not "normal" in the sense that most children do it, but "normal" in the sense that for some children (especially those with speech difficulties), it is the only way they are able to communicate something.
It's only been in the last few months that my son (almost 3) has stopped reacting this way. For lots of reasons, I think - he's now able to remove himself from the situation/able to ask an adult for help/is beginning to understand it will hurt the other person/is more comfortable playing alongside other children/etcetera ad infinitum. All because we have been super patient with him, explaining what is right and wrong and allowing him to (safely) feel his feelings. Our patience is paying off and he is the most gentle, sensitive, loving little boy. I promise the same is true for your child, and they will continue to get better in these sorts of interactions. Probably before he's 6!

If you saw your child climbing up the wrong way on a slide why on earth didn't you go and tell him no you go up the steps then slide down? If you'd done this all of the situation could have been avoided. Also.if you know your DC smacks other DC you should have been more closely supervising him. I'd be furious if a child hit my child in the face. The mother should not have touched your child though. You need to be much closer to him at soft play.

YABU. From what you have said in the thread so far you are essentially allowing your child to hit other children and giving him excuses for it. IMHO the other mum was 100% justified in her reaction. People saying “he’s two” - he can still be disciplined, and if you can’t manage it, stay close to him and prevent him from assaulting other children

She should have never touched your child. I think there is nothing wrong with telling someone else’s child off though. Not shouting but a stern voice as I really feel that if she had done nothing it just enables a society where children do what they want.

The girl should have been way more considerate of your son, but kids that age don’t always think. Her actions were an accident - maybe she was too excited or whatever. However your son shouldn’t be hitting any child - that is worse than being crashed into by accident.

I hope he gets the help he needs though. You need to see it on both sides, both kids need a telling off for different reasons. The girl needs to be considerate and your son should hit x

So the basic thing is here that soft play should have an area for 3 and under. If it doesn’t it’s not for for purpose. It’s not ASD to do what he did, he is 2 and 2 year olds and 6 year olds are not in same area in any normal soft play

He's under 2! He's a baby! Babies strike out and hit. Good for him for sticking up for himself. The other Mother should have been watching her child and should have told her off for trying to squash babies. I'm glad you gave her an earful, imagine how annoyed you'd feel if you said nothing. She grabbed a baby roughly, she's a twat!! I hope you see her again so you can remind her to keep her kid away from the babies. I think it's fine you tried to give him some independence too. It's a soft play area.

He's two ffs! Two!!!

Getting a little smack from a 2 year old you've just carelessly careened into is a non-event.

He's. Two.

I'd not have even thought to worry about the smack if I were the other mum - I'd be more focused on teaching my 6 year old to be careful with small toddlers.

A two year old hitting out when they're frightened and/or hurt is no big surprise. It hardly makes him this massive liability that you need to be on top of at all times as other PPs are suggesting.

Was your dh there too?

It sounds like you carried on with the session after this ? Which personally i wouldnt have done - he just slapped a kid in the face he should have been taken home (or at least hopefully you were then constantly with him??

What did you actually say to him? And would you have moved him away from the girl if the mum hadnt intervened?

Obviously sounds like the girl was wrong. But did she possibly ask him to move or expect him to and he didnt pick up the cues?

Also (sorry) but being close by will help his development all the 'no dont do that' etc etc

Maybe the mum moved him if he didnt move away as i would expect most kids to move away after hitting someone.

The kid shouldnt have been in the area so i probably would have reminded the mum of that. As its because older kids are too rough.

Hopefully your ds can enjoy it more when its less busy.

I doubt you could have stopped a slap anyway as kids react so fast andunless it is very persistebt behaviour its unexpected.

Abyway would be interesting to see
If being shouted at and removed from the situation means your dc is less likely to hit?
And for the girl whether bashing into younger kids stops as she might realise they can hit her.though realistically both of those effects are probably dampened by their parents reactions.
I would have said to the girl well look if you push someone they may push/hit back - and harder.

As you can see if its your kid hitting they get blamed even if the other kid dud something first. At school age the never borhered finding out what happened first. And never corrected children for saying anything.
Nursery are unlikely to be able to get between kids with hitted (or biting) as so many kids there

The woman should absolutely not have touched your child. No excuses. But you were not close enough to ‘get there first’ but then also claim the woman didn’t see it but somehow got there before you did despite you saying you were supervising closely. Your child is known to hit other children, you cannot let him out of arm’s length. Or you need to start attending specific sessions for ND children where parents will be much more understanding.

I have an almost 3 year old and a 7 year old. I do stay with my youngest at softplay but mostly because she is still pretty fragile. I really can't imagine my 2 year old being strong enough to hurt a 6 year old. Nor can I imagine any of my eldest friends treating a 2 year old so roughly. I would imagine the kid is abit of a Veruca Salt and consequently a massive drama llama, all caused by the Mums parenting. As PPs have said, supervise closer in future but seriously don't worry about it.

I'd imagine lots of children may lash out at a child that has just hurt them. So when people say, you should be supervising closer, are those people also following their children around. Even when much older?

2 yo smacks a 6 yo? I wonder what her face was doing so close to his hand?? She would be taller, out of range.
in any event, she hurt him first.
mother is a cow & that apple did not fall far from the tree

2 year olds don’t really play with each other, they play alongside.

2 yrs old, I think smack back when hurt is within realm of possible responses.

Delays at 2, are hardly noticeable but do spend time with him, find “social stories” to talk through how to behave. Use little toy people to create the scene and correct responses. Recommended are basic doll house, little people for “representative” play, showing how to do things in real life. Gentle hands etc.