To stay at home every weekend ?

I am not convinced that kids get enough exercise when they stay home.

A buggy is not better or worst than a car seat, but how do kids build stamina and resilience if they don't walk? It was one of the many reasons why I always took mine out daily from very little.

I'm a homebody too, and I think it's fine to have a nice quiet life with indoor stimulation.

But for DC's development, they probably need to go somewhere unstructured and perhaps new every now and then. It doesn't do to just read about places and adventures (eg aquarium, zoo, museum, nature area, even the garden centre, etc) in books about other (fictional) children.

During Covid, where I was, chidren were getting plenty of indoor stimulation and education (and extracurricular programmes and clubs were running too), but early childhood educators noted their brains weren't developing properly due to lack of exposure to unstructured, unpredictable environments.

An unstructured outing every month or so, even if it's just to the nearby park and shops, would be good for their development.

That sounds fine but I just don't think everyone or even most people do this, or need to do it. A lot must depend where you live, what your house is like, how far you can drive etc. But surely kids don't need all this specifically at weekends to grow up happy and well, or not all kids.

It's unreasonable of your MIL to expect her son to give up half his weekend to spend with her and lose time with his children. I'm not lucky enough to have grandchildren or a DIL but I wouldn't expect this.

We do. We're around an hour away from woodlands. We go at least 2x a month.
Same for beach, farm , zoo.

The decent park is 30 min away that suits all kids.

I personally couldn't.
We go out each day. Even if just to visit family. A park or something.
But each to their own

Sounds lovely, and frankly many people could do with learning the art off doing nothing. Why work so hard to provide a good home if you spend all of your time out of it?

Home is a base, it's important but it's not everything.

We all had at least 2 lockdown to live through, they only confirmed what I thought before, house arrest is a punishment, not a treat

read my posts? Why should I be bitter?

It doesn't mean that I have to agree that I am having a detrimental effect on my children's development or well being because we dislike being stuck in the house all day, let alone all weekend when there's so much to do outside 😂

All weekend, every weekend is far too much I think. I usually have a chilled day and a day we do something (even if it's just the park or shopping). The only time we'd spend an entire weekend in the house would be if we were ill or we'd had a couple of really busy weekends. My kids all play football though so my weekends are forever filled with matches so it's rare we get one to relax. I like to go out and socialise too so often get a babysitter and go out with friends. You do you though, just don't be surprised when your kids get older, you have to do more.

Sounds lovely, and frankly many people could do with learning the art off doing nothing. Why work so hard to provide a good home if you spend all of your time out of it?
I think the main thing is that it doesn't become stifling. We all know those families that never stop, but we also all know those who are afraid of the world and never have an adventure.

Lucky dc. Your lives sound balanced and healthy. Dc are learning to enjoy play and using their imagination (like we did inThe Olde Worlde Times). Without being carted off to this and that and everyone ending up frazzled

Enjoy your chilled weekends. When my children were little we did have lots of summer weekend days in the garden. They would spend hours outside making potions with bits of plant cuttings. They also did shows. We often had neighbouring children in the garden too - it was lovely. I do remember some simple day outs too. This was more for me as I found it a little claustrophobic 2 days at home with very small children.

I think we mixed it up a little, although I like staying at home now the children do their own thing! Today, I've just been to the supermarket and had a nap.

It's been lovely!

I think you have have it just right Woolygreyowl, as they get older other things will come ,but for now just let them enjoy their imaginations and crafts. Mine used to love dens, washing their bikes ,prams etc., making 'towns' outside with twigs stuck in the lawn and little box houses and forget finger painting- feet are far more fun. Happy kids -happy life......

This feels like two separate issues though. Whats the real issue?

The MIL wants to see her son on his own at the weekend when he wants to have family time

or

Your SIL and MIL say you need to take the kids out more on the weekends?

@Chanelbasketballandchain the irony is your back is up because this lady does things differently, you sound quite bitter in your own post!

and "unstructured play" is only possible stuck in your own house because...?

What do you think people who don't stay home at the weekend do? It doesn't have to be Legoland every time. It's a mix of kids parties, sports, clubs, weekend away just as much as a day in a NT place, a day in the forest or on the beach.

As as I said earlier, do whatever works for you. Staying for me is only when someone is sick - or an hour or 2 if there are chores to finish.

I wouldn't keep my dog all day at home, even if our garden is reasonably big, so I sure wouldn't force it on my kids!

I always find it funny when people sound bitter and start attacking those who prefer going out. Mine sleep better when they have a chance to run around and the garden doesn't compare to anywhere we can go instead.

SIL should know better, home and being with you is proven to be the best place for our children.

After a busy week out the house, I can't think of anything better than spending two quiet days as a family.

It's like people have learnt nothing from all those lockdowns

I suppose if MIL doesn't need care, it's up to DH whether he sees her at weekend or not. No indication that he is locked in a cellar with the kids by the dastardly OP, but if so, yes do release him OP.

Seems a bit of a red herring where the child development question is concerned.

I think your husband should make time to see his mum every couple of weeks. You are at home the rest of the weekend. If she doesn't want to see you and the kids make the most of it and send him on his own 😂
It all sounds a bit suffocating to me but you do what's best for you. I can understand the comments tbh

I think it's ok if they're doing stuff in the holidays, especially at their ages. But when they get to 5/6/7 and they have to start writing 'weekend news' in class, it's nice for them to share that they went swimming, or to a park, or a play date somewhere. There are those who are OTT and think 'busy-ness' is a sign of achievement, but if your children are happy what's there to worry about? As with everything there's a balance to be found.

Unstructured play is so important for child development. There are so many studies and books on this. Carry on!

One sec, so you don't even allow one of you to go out for a coffee at the weekend?

This all sounds suffocating to me.

So what’s the issue then? He can go for an hour and you can stay at home?