To stay at home every weekend ?

Every family is different when it comes to how they spend their weekends.

When the kids get older and if they express an interest in taking up sports or going to places on the weekends, will you keep them at home still, as you prefer to stay in on the weekend?

We stay at home most weekends, but always have visitors, kids have a few acres of land to play, garden toys, a zipline, trampoline, a pool, toys, crafts, devices etc. We work full time and the Sat&Sun are spent cooking,eating,swimming and catching up with housework, laundry and shopping. Tbh the last I want is trail the kids in busy places on my days off.
Maybe once every month we'll go to a party or a nice park , the beach etc, we only go out to eat for special occasions.

We are total homebodies and have been since we had kids. Weekends are to stay homes, do ordinary stuff, play games, be lazy, cook, watch movies, relax and recharge, sometimes we socialise, go out, go to the park, cycle, go on walks etc, but largely we prefer to keep to ourselves and not have a schedule. NOTHING wrong with this. Please don't listen to others who can't do this and hence can't understand how others do it. You don't need to have a routine with the world on weekends. Madness.

Are people not reading the OPs updates.
She says quite clearly they go out and do stuff after school, during the holidays etc 🙄

I find being at home on the weekends really stressful, can’t keep up with the mess, DD wants a lot of attention and will get bored and we revert to screens. So we get out all the time (still spend 5-6 hours a day at home) to soft play, parks, bounce parks, family visit, swimming, museums, play cafes, feed ducks, forest walks, library, gala days etc

I'm with SiL. Sounds very limiting to me.

Don't you ever take them to the library, or swimming, or to the park, or to an open day at the local fire station, or to a Summer Fair or local carnival or fete ?
To feed the ducks or climb a hill or wander through a forest, or even on jobs that need to be done - going to the shops or even the local tip ?
Don't they have any social interaction outside of school / nursery except with each other ?

So your children have siblings and parents, they have a garden, craft activities toys etc to keep them entertained on weekends. I don't think they will be deprived by avoiding going out on weekends.
For you that's family time, for us too. My youngest has adhd and really needs the cool down time of the weekend. Before we had him our weekends were packed every Saturday we had a children's bookclub plus music classes dinner out. Then a Sunday day trip either into town or to a beach or new city etc. It got to a point where my eldest at 11 refused to go out. Then we had my youngest who requires downtime. Just because we as parents feel that we should be doing something for them every second it doesn't mean it's best for them, children need to be bored for the imagination to kick start

Some people are so busy mon-fri that they like to have a rest at weekends. Theres nothing wrong with that. Small kids don't need to be taken to places all the time. They will be perfectly fine playing in their own garden and with their own toys. It's not like they do nothing all week/in the holidays.

Later on the kids will make friends, go to parties at weekends, join sports clubs etc and the OP will be busy - she might as well enjoy the downtime before all that starts!

There are loads of things I took my kids to when they were little that they don't remember at all - my parents took my little siblings to Disneyland Paris when they were about 8 and they don't even remember it - maybe it's better to be busier when the kids are older and need different stimulation to what they have at home.

Also OP and her DH don't owe entertainment and outings to mil. If sil has got the arse of doing it herself, she can take it up with her mum. Good on OP for not letting herself get landed with the weight of other people's unreasonable expectations!

If it works for you then that’s great, there’s nothing wrong with this. My DC get bored just spending one day at home so it’s great they can entertain themselves.

When I was younger we didn’t go on big days out every weekend. Weekends were spent playing outside / at the park with friends and visiting family.

How old is your oldest DC? The only strange thing is that they haven’t had any birthday invites for 2 years.

OP is doing just fine. Kids do not need constant activities to grow up well-adjusted. I’d venture they appreciate the half term and holiday activities even more than if they were being constantly entertained. Unstructured play is v. important for child development—resilience, self-sufficiency, and development of imagination.

I wouldn't want that for my children. But you do you. They'll judge you on it eventually.

If it works then do it and nothing to justify or explain. I have the opposite experience with DD who enjoys being out and observing the world. She goes to childcare too but she loves seeing people and things. Weekends are our busiest times and we are always on the move.

Fair enough tho if the little one has asc. That must make it less appealing to go to busy parks

Not for me ! I think mostly fine but I think surely your kids would benefit from going to sone parks and running about ?

Well it's how I was brought up and I am a well-rounded, sociable individual. Days out were treats, not expected. It's good for kids to not have to be entertained all the time and just use their imagination.

Carry on doing what suits you and your family best.

You may find as the children get older they'll want to get out a bit more.

But definitely don't live your life according to other people's 'rules'.

That's the OP told then 😵‍💫

Sounds absolutely fine!
In my experience, kids relax more at home doing their own stuff - it's proper downtime. Being shoved into a car, sat in traffic to whatever attraction is stressful to all!

What fantastic weekends your children must have, Space to play in their own space with their own toys and a chance to just be and to rest.. Sounds perfect

Sounds lovely, i love having a quiet weekend. Although, not every weekend surely? As much as i enjoy a quiet weekend, there must be times where the kids have parties, friends are free, something great on at the theatre etc must happen once in a while?

Really sorry to hear about that, I'm guessing you're familiar with the Stately Homes threads 💐

My brother doesn’t remember any of our childhood holidays before age 12! We had a faux-middle class upbringing but both failed to thrive due to the abuse underneath. And I remember the nice trips and holidays down to what I ate.

What really matters is a real connection to your family. The “fun for all the family” stuff is a modern invention.

Recently I went to dinner at my DB's house, asked my 7yo DN how he'd spent his day and he said they didn't do anything. Turned out my SIL had taken her kids to 2 museums that day! So I asked him what he'd seen, and he still couldn't tell me. I'm not sure 'enriching' days out really register as much for the kids as much as for the adults!

She posted on AIBU and asked for opinions, so I assume she’s fine with people saying they wouldn’t do it or they don’t think it’s ideal for whatever reason.

I have a toddler and two step children. I would much rather take them out somewhere than stay at home all weekend, but it probably depends a lot on personalities and location.

Your life sounds a bit like what my life was as a child. I don't think that's bad thing. You don't say how many children you have or what ages.

I would hazard that if you have three and one has ASD, it would be a bit of a drama going out. I would also hazard that the 3 year old might enjoy the routine and quiet of your house. That's OK.

Your dh sounds supportive and I would crack on. You may find that your children might want to do other extracurricular activities which might bleed into the weekend.