Am I getting it wrong - 13 year old DC and revision

We always made our kids revise for tests in secondary school and they wanted to do well anyway so were happy to. 30 minutes most evenings isn’t a lot really. My kids use to do an hour at a time, sometimes on their own, sometimes with us. By regularly revising for tests each term, when they get to GCSE time, they don’t have to do so much.

Fair point, but what I mean is prepping for GCSEs. I know its not actually GCSEs yes, but all of this is in prep for starting GCSEs.

Why are you pressurising him? He's only young, if he's completing all homework already. What did his last report say, are his teachers happy with him, his progress. Yes he needs to find his own drive, his own style of revision, but there's time for that. Ask his main teachers what set they expect him to be in.

She's not said she's getting him to revise for GCSEs, though. It's revision for Y8 exams.

I think your opening lines tells you everything:

DC is bright, doing fine at school.

So no need to get involved at this stage and start pressuring him. Homework, yes absolutely. Revising for GCSEs at age 13, nah I think you've got that bit wrong.

If the teachers start to mention he's getting distracted or struggling, then yes definitely. But I'd let him be, he sounds like he's got it covered.

I think 30 minutes an evening is fine and good to get into the habit.

My DD is Y7 but is autistic so needs more support. I set aside an hour every evening at the same time Monday-Thursday. We don't usually use the full hour but if she gets into a piece of work (i.e if she can be creative with it) then she will use all that time. As well as her homework - which varies between 1-4 pieces a week - I do some MFL practice and Maths practice with her. If there is any revision set we do that too.

I agree it is a fine line between being supportive and being too pushy.

If he isn't self motivated to learn, he ain't learning. Mandating methods and time usually backfires spectacularly in the teen years.

I work with adults who need access support to third level. A lot never learnt how to learn.

I would concentrate on prioritising communication. Ask him what is he enjoying, what does he not like. I share podcasts with my older teen about different learning methods etc, short little tasters. Find interesting resources that support the curriculum, films, music, etc.

I did a family tree and mapped historial events alongside it that showed the interplay of Irish, European and world history. That became the basis of my eldest history project for exams here.

And most of all reinforce exams are a snapshot of a day, it could be your best or worst day. There are many winding paths to success and you know he will achieve his. Don't threaten a teenager with adult impacts, that is soul damaging and lasts a lifetime.

I am a teacher and have two teens and before I had kids/when they were younger I used to think all parents should be doing what you are doing. However, now I think it's more complicated. Both my dc are quite academic and do well, but they require different things from me and have different approaches themselves which therefore require a different response from me.

I think the 30 minutes a day rule is arbitrary and won't necessarily have the desired impact. It also sets you up for a lot of nagging and a negative atmosphere building up around school work. I don't agree with just leaving them to it (unless they are clearly on top of it all and doing well) but I would be more targeted and maybe focus on the tasks he has been set and checking he has done those or sitting down with the topic sheets/knowledge organisers and asking him to RAG rate the content and then encouraging him to come up with a loose schedule to address the red and amber bits. But really, at Y8 level this shouldn't really take that long if he is able/concentrating in class. Hours of revision shouldn't really be needed at this point.

I would also hope there is scope to move sets but mention of streaming makes me think this may be limited. I really disagree with this. We have mixed ability teaching in my subject right through to Y11 and it has been a massive success for students at all levels. Streaming 13 year olds and keeping them in their 'stream' until 16 is awful.

You will just ruin your relationship in my experience. I tried to do this with my first and never bothered with my others as it got me nowhere. They have to realise for themselves and begin to take responsibility for their own school work if they don't get good grades then they know why and can choose to do better next time.

My daughter is the same age and just completed her term tests but I just left her to it, she needs to learn what works for her and how best she revises as not the same works for everyone. I've realised my daughter and I have completely different revision styles. If it was quite close to exam time and it looks like not much is being done I ask her where she's at and what she's got left and how she's going to manage her week when the tests arrive and give advice. Have you spoken to your son about how he feels? He might be ok with it or he might get absolutely nothing out of half an hour nightly and prefer to work out his own schedule. It might also have the opposite effect where he resents doing it as it feels like nagging.

Doing a bit of work for year 8 end of year exams isn't going to cause GCSE burnout! 30 mins most days is a perfectly reasonable amount of work (unless he's also doing 2 hours music practice, and early morning swimming, and running 20 miles a week, and extra language lessons etc etc)

I think you have a very good point about GCSE classes being streamed, and not wanting him to end up in lower groups. That said, whatever class he ends up in, his own actions are absolutely his responsibility, and he can't hide behind "getting drawn in by the naughty kids".

ds’s school didn’t give much homework, some weeks he had none at all, but for each year they recommended how much revision to do in place of it each night. (guess it saved them issuing/marking homework, and put responsibility on learner/parent to support their own education)

If he isn’t getting homework, I don’t think 30m revision is a big ask, and it’s a good habit to get into.

My DS is in the middle of his GCSEs at the moment. He's at a very competitive school. I've just left him to it - they have to work out how they revise best themselves. I am there to provide any resources he needs and emotional support. He's essentially spent the last 6 months revising all day at school so he hasn't had to do too much at home. I think people forget that they are doing a lot of this at school .

I’m a teacher, I wish all parents were like you! Personally I think that it is really good to get him into the right habits in the future for work and exams, it means it won’t be such a shock to him and easier for him to just crack on with work when he starts his GCSEs, also he can see that hard work breeds success. 30 mins is not over the top.

They won’t get much homework because honestly we just don’t have time to mark it all. If you have 300 kids to teach like I do, to set tests and on top homework is just not possible. For me I have to set essay tests every 7 weeks, so 300 to mark then homework on top and planning, just would not be enough time In the day even if we would want to, so what you are doing is good in terms of getting him into the right work mode. There are studies that say homework is no positive effect- personally I disagree- you can tell which kids have done work at home- revision etc at GCSE and A level compared to the ones who haven’t. Also these students are going to have to complete with private school and international students in the future for top university spots- if they don’t get into the right habits now they have no chance because as you know private school children work hours after school every night so can wipe the floor with them- they need to know this is the reality and step up to the plate, same goes in the work world, hence one reason why private school children do better in the percentage who go to top universities and get top jobs.

I don't think revision is necessary or helpful at this stage, especially if it is becoming a battle. If he attends school daily and does the required work he should know what he needs to, he could read through his book the night before the test to jog his memory. You can encourage him in many ways that don't directly involve school work too. For example foreign language TV and films, encourage reading of a variety of books both fact and fiction, watching of relevant TV, talk to him about anything specific he is interested in or is struggling with.

@Lotscanchange

There are many reason internal
And external that children do not perform well in tests:

They are low ability
They do not like the subject
They have poor literacy
They have poor numeracy
They have poor handwriting /motor skills
They don't know how to revise
They don't know what to revise.
The have been poorly prepared by the school
They don't have a checklist
They have poor exam skills
They get anxiety
They have low parental engagement
They are disaffected
They have low self esteem
They have poor attendance
They don't pay attention in lessons
They mess about instead of working
They are late to Lesson
They have a specific learning difficulty

Just to add I do not get involved in their work at all unless asked.

Eldest had year 10 mocks in May so I did have a high level talk in the Easter holidays- asking if she had lots to do, whether she had a plan. Also they come and say they need this revision guide book or that thing for Art and I get it for them asap.

I was a bit worried as she didn't seem to be spending long periods sitting at a desk working - but I think the way they work now is different anyway - using tech resources and a little and often approach. Anyway she did fine in her mocks.

Youngest is year 7 and does his own homework. I don't get involved unless asked.

I really think it's better for them to have ownership of it in the long run.

I guess if you try it and you see they are not picking up the ball then you can think again and change approach.

Children have to own their own ambition to do well. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for years of nagging and a resentful child.

Year 8'exams don't matter so I would have a chat with him about revision - say it is up to him if he wants to do it and do well and be in a better set next year And if there is any way you can help him - you are right there for him.

And then - leave him to it.

You don't want to be in a terrible cycle of nagging and resentment at GCSE and A level, with a much older teen.

I don't think you're doing wrong expecting your DS to do a bit of revision for exams. It's a good habit to get into.
Above all it gives him the opportunity to work out which revision techniques work best for him before he gets to the important exams.
So many kids get to GCSEs and realise that they don't know how to revise. It's important to remember that we all learn in different ways. It's so much easier if you can work that out in the early stages.

For me, it’s my personality. I still drive myself at work, try my very best in all situations. I sew and if it’s not perfect I rip it up and start again (I am happy, just to be clear, just very driven)
my sons are not like this. In general I think this is good but i would like them to do even ten minutes revision before tests

My child’s school expect them to work every night during the week. One night at weekend and every day during the half term holiday. I can live with the weekly homework. But not holiday time revision. I have told them he will not be doing it (they are checking their homework jotters for evidence) He needs to develop other skills to be a rounded individual not just be a school work monkey. Let your kid be during half term.

I sympathise. I went to a ferociously academic girls private school and now have boys in state - the difference in the amount of work I did and the amount they do is staggering

i am laying off at the moment although reinforcing expectations ie I expect them to work to the best of their ability (they DON’T do this, but they know I expect it 😁)

i will help at gcse but not sure what else to do. I can’t make them

I wouldn't wake him early as teenage hormones mean sleep is important.

As a teacher I think it's brilliant when parents support kids with revision. I have done a lesson one HOW to revise with my Y7s and Y8s. They absolutely need support and shown how to revise.

You can always tell the kids who have supportive parents at home.

It's actually the parents attitude towards their child's education that has the biggest outcome on success, more than the school's input.