Tell me you're a parent of a ND child without telling me...

I made a post on social media about the Ella pouches changing. None of my friends understood.

"She questioned your teaching method and the answer? And rolled her eyes at you?
Sorry about that, but she IS right"

Icelands mix and match 10 for £10 deal sees me at the checkout with 10 bags of Alphabites in my basket.

I make the same 7 tea time meals week in, week out and can never deviate from that. Breakfast is the same every day, lunch is the same ever day.

My cupboards are full of the only weetabix (Asdas own) that are accepted, the only diluting juice that's accepted, the only beans that are accepted etc etc you get the picture so I don't run out if there's a supply issue (covid was a nightmare!)

If I get 4-5 hours of sleep it's been a great night.

Totally relate with the buying multiples of the same clothing once you find something that's accepted! And removing all labels...

Aren't autistic children naughty? You child is really well behaved!

We can’t meet needs - nursery. Me - you haven’t met my child and we haven’t discussed his need yet.

Different nursery manager - lovely to meet you Mrs X we don’t have any availability at X nursery. Me - Really? When I spoke to you head office yesterday they said you did which I why I organised the tour. Do you think you will have availability when X turns 3 then. Nursery Manager - No (without checking). Me - what about in September when you have 30 4 year olds leaving to start school? Nursery manager - No (without checking)

Quiet weekends at home are standard….we don’t get invited to play dates or birthdays parties

The above silence is the sound of no friends calling 😞

Been up since 3am with him shouting and jumping on the sofa. Will have to scrap some of my plans today.

At the park yesterday the other mums were sat down chatting and I was closely following my son trying to stop him from faceplanting after running down hills too fast, or eating, stones, bark and grass. I can only let him out of his buggy or off reins when he is in a fenced space.

When bringing the shopping into the house i turned around and he was gone and made a run for it.

Got kicked in the throat changing his nappy (he's 5).

Listening to other people bitching about other parents and wondering if they blame your sons brain disorder on your parenting.

She’s not trying to be rude, she’s just gone mute because a person is perceiving her too much.

She’s fine, she’s just having some floor time.

She does appreciate the thing you did, she just doesn’t have the energy to produce the right facial expression and tone of voice at the moment

Now, I see this stuff as proof of the very high likelihood of my ND rather than DC's... (Been waiting for a couple of years for an assessment 😩 I keep 'accidentally' falling off the list apparently)
Want to know the name of a Pokémon? I can name most. Want to know about a specific technical detail of DC's sport? I know it! If you want to know a random-and-fascinating-but-useless-in-everyday-life fact from a myriad of different subjects, I can often supply the answer. Just don't ask me about any sport outside of the one DCs and I do or anything on popular culture 😂 It's like the more useless outside a pub quiz the information is, the easier it gets permanently logged to recall and weird people out at a moment's notice.
If only I could apply my super power to something useful with decent earning potential!

DD has ASD and ADHD
I thought all children had to have food not touching - carrots in one bowl, cucumber in another etc
Watching the same shows on repeat
Buying ridiculously expensive socks- only ones acceptable
Only tolerated clothes are cotton jersey - no knitted jumpers/ tights/ mittens etc
Stocking up on their favourite food - then suddenly they hate it ..
Having to go to the same holiday year after year , again and again
Watching play dates like a hawk, hovering and constantly getting involved to broker peace ..

Standing in the rain for 20 minutes while the head teacher holds an umbrella over me as I try and reach/calm my melting down child. Since the rain was moving sideways we were both drenched but I was really grateful for the show of support.

Cooking three different meals for four ND people every day because one only likes a limited selection of specific dry-ish foods, two like the same (wider range of foods) but of those two one has to have certain elements served in separate bowls because if they touch each other then they can't be eaten, the fourth has different restrictions and often eats a random selection of things that nobody else will touch.

Having to explain once more why yes, my child may need to build "resilience", but no, suddenly changing their routine/disappearing to see how they cope without me/otherwise unexpectedly leaving them to cope alone is not the way to do this.

On showing a clip of DD melting down and attempting to self-harm at home "but she's a model student at school, we've never seen anything like this - do you think she could be masking?" given that this clip plays out after school almost every day, yes, yes she might be.

Dr: "Autism isn't my area so we'll just look at anxiety for now". Me: "They have a (diagnosed) ND parent, sibling, uncle and four cousins, plus X, Y, Z behaviours and concerns have been raised by home and school as flags". Dr: "That's not really much to go on genetically, and they seem very happy today, so let's leave that and consider anxiety"

At parents evening: Your child is about to enter Y3, you need to consider secondary schooling now because it could take 2-3 years to fight the LA and get the provision they need. There's one place locally, nothing else within an hours drive.

Your child listens to/watches the same thing on loop hundreds of times. But you don't realise that's unusual because you do that, too, and then end up confused when autism is suggested.

If the clothing isn't the precise mix of colour/pattern/feel then it will be discarded, even if you think it is identical to the one that's just been outgrown.

How do you manage on 3-5 hours of broken sleep a night? Well, it isn't optional. But aren't you worried you'll get sick? ...

Why don't you just send them into the toilets alone? Why do they need to use the disabled loo? (Because they have no sense of safety/danger, assume everyone is their friend, won't shut the door when using the loo, don't sit on the loo properly and can't clean themselves after a poo. See also "hidden disability")

It's 0230 and I'm offloading onto an anonymous forum because somebody asked a question and it turns out I really need to get this off my chest because who can you tell this to in real life without sounding moany (sorry for the long post)?

We have lots of china ramekins / small dishes...
Separate foodstuffs.

We have a bunch of crumpets going off (substitute anything else) 'i never liked them '(ate ONLY them yesterday...)

I can recite all the marvel movies to you if you like....not marvel?.....how about a bit of star wars or harry potter then....still not interested...... ok then it's every episode of countdown so (and yes I mean every episode from the last 22 years)

Don't touch the blanket 😞 please don't touch it

Have you had a look on YouTube? Obviously it isn't interactive, but my DCs happily dance along to the Just Dance videos on there.

First clue I had was a lady who stopped me in the street to say that her autistic child wouldn’t wear clothes either. Mine was wearing only pants and wellies in a rainstorm because nothing else felt right.

.I cut the labels out of every item of clothing I buy for my children
.Both of my children have only one pair of shoes each and buying new ones can take weeks
.I frequently bulk buy food items and end up putting them in the foodbank after they are no longer tolerated
.the same song will be playing on repeat somewhere in the house for up to a month at a time a then never again for at least five years
.nobody in my house (except my DH) has had more than 6hrs sleep at a time ever
.my children are nocturnal in the school holidays
Etc
Etc
Etc

Sorry he can't come to the door right now, he is under his blanket. No I won't tell him now, I'll pass on the message after blanket time.

“I’d like to invite you to not renew the ballet class for 4 year olds.”

also: spending an unreasonable amount of time making SURE, absolutely SURE, that the socks are paired up correctly

The 2 takeout places in rotation recognize our order and question if we change it for any reason. Even if someone else picks it up for us.

going to multiple stores to find specific brands if something is sold out because the child will not eat if you swap and they absolutely will be able to tell, even if you hide the packaging.

I still only work part-time so I can be available as needed even though dc is old enough to have her own very part-time job.

so many pieces of clothing tried and discarded because they turned out to be unacceptable. But almost always after they were worn and could not be returned.

spending hours researching the perfect pencil, the perfect folder, the perfect anything because having the right tools makes integration much easier. Being willing to keep buying until we find the right thing.

Talkingfrog hadn’t read yours when I posted! Shoes and clothes so so tricky for many.

Clarks have discontinued the only shoes DS will wear. Super happy to find a few stockists online still selling them and, naturally, bought two in his size and another two the next half size up - glad I’d just been paid!!

Of course, the new shoes are still at the ‘feeling wrong’ stage and he was livid I’d put the old broken ones in the bin.

Totally understand.

Stopped buying socks with any form of pattern/extra stitching years ago - even just the word next in the bottom is a no.

Lost count of how many pairs of trousers I ordered for the start of school last year before we found one that felt comfortable - both feel of fabric and fit.

This year none of the school jumpers felt ok (they changed the content to last year), so dd hasn't worn one (school aren't too strict on uniform so hasn't been an issue).

Shoes/trainers aren't easy. We have previously tried on every shoe that could possibly pass as a school shoe in every shoe shop in town, and not found anything suitable - more than once.

Current trainers still fit but need a new pair as they are getting worn down inside. Manufacturer no longer have it in stock in a suitable size online so have searched online and luckily managed to find the same pair, in the same size in stock elsewhere. Just hope they fit ok (the other pair may have stretched and it is the largest size they do them in).

I've got so much respect for you all who are struggling. My son has Autism. Thankfully primary school has been manageable. I'm dreading the transition to high school in September though.

For me it's that - I cannot take the bins out without a follower.
My house has a collection of sticks on the coffee table.
Every pen in my house is chewed.
We do not eat food with sauce.
I have to go outside to eat my crisps because they smell.
I will never change plans. Ever.

I constantly worry about a certain type of food being discontinued

Having to replace t shirts and hoodies every two months...because he eats them. He's 27 next month...

Never going away as a couple, without him. Ever. 27 years....